Capers Page #3

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They'll kill for you.

And they'll die for you.

And don't forget,

the object is to control

the center.

Okay.

Give me my watch, please.

Thank you.

- [giggles]

[sirens blaring]

- She's dead.

- What?

Who?

- Connie.

- Connie died?

Are you sure?

- I don't know.

Come on.

- Ma'am, stay calm...

- Grandma.

- Ma'am.

- Okay, lady.

- Dino...

this is a sign.

- Moose...

this is a sign.

- Slava, this is sign.

- A sign of what?

- We will rob her ourselves.

- Is this good idea?

- Who will complain?

Everyone hates her.

- She is very dangerous woman,

Lana.

- So am l.

- Ow.

- I hear your grandma's

in the hospital.

- She dead?

- She needs surgery.

- Good afternoon, ma'am,

my name is Mehai Cheng.

- I didn't call for takeout.

- No, ma'am, I'm a doctor.

I'm afraid you're gonna be here

for a little while.

- I don't know

what they taught you

in your chingaling med school

besides how to write names

on rice,

but I ain't staying here

another minute.

- You had a small coronary.

You're going to need

bypass surgery,

or you could have

a massive heart attack.

- Not by some slant.

I want a second opinion.

- Well, all right.

Who would you like to speak to?

- Go find me a Jew.

- So it's, uh, hot in here.

- Yeah.

- You got air conditioning?

- No.

- What are those vents for?

- I don't know.

- Is that an internal alarm

or does it go through NYPD?

- Well, why are you asking?

- You know, we're just curious.

- Oh, well, I'm sure

it's linked to some sort of--

- What do you think the response

time is on something like that?

- I have no idea.

-This window.

Single paned or double paned?

- Your guess is as--

- You got a backup generator?

- l-I think we have--

- How heavy is that safe?

You like boats?

- It's perfect.

We get in, we grab the thing,

we get out fast,

no one gets hurt.

- You really think

there's somethin' in there?

- Dino, come on.

- What if it's just

personal stuff?

You know, photographs,

keepsakes, feminine items.

- Are you kiddin' me?

Connie doesn't care about

anything but money.

It's either cash

or something very valuable.

- I don't know, Fitzy.

- Hey.

You want respect, right?

We do this, we buy you a boat,

and you got it.

Then we get you and Harry

out on top.

- All right.

But we got to move fast.

We don't know how long

she's gonna be in that hospital.

What do you wanna do first?

- Let's put your old team

back together.

- Critically acclaimed

Clinically insane

- I won't be long, baby.

I'm just gonna case the joint.

- What's case?

- Daddy's gonna look at

the building

and see all the entrances

and exits to it.

- Can Lila and I come case?

- Come on.

- Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Ronald, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

- Things happen

'cause I say so

Half the city on my payroll

I make up laws

Break those

- All right.

If anybody comes,

you shoot 'em.

- Moose gave you a piece, right?

- Okay.

Well, if somebody comes,

you cut 'em.

You don't have a knife either?

All right,

then just look mean.

- [growling]

- Shake your head.

[both growling]

You know what?

Why don't you just whistle.

Can you whistle?

- [loudly expels air]

- Okay, for now, just yell.

- Go look out for Daddy.

- The lchiban Don Mega

Razor sharp with my part

Connected to the streets

Like sidewalks

The Ray Liotta

of the ghetto Goodfellas

My graffiti letters

make the whole hood jealous

- [whistles]

- That's great, baby.

- What you doin' there?

- Uh...

- I'm lost.

Can you help me find my Mommy?

- Well, sure.

- Oh, my god.

- There she is.

- I found her all the way around

the side of the building, ma'am.

- Oh, she wandered off.

Thank you so much.

- Okay, well,

keep an eye on her.

She's a cutie.

- Thank you.

- Okay.

- Lila likes casing.

- That's my girl.

- She's coming, no doubt.

- No, she's not.

- Hell yes she is.

She's a good cover.

She can even drive the van.

- So what's the deal?

- The deal is a bad deal.

Bars on all the windows,

live alarm.

- So Moose is gonna need time

to work it.

- I don't want to waste time

with alarms.

I want to blast in

tomorrow night.

Take it.

If we move quick enough,

we can get out of town

before they even know

what hit 'em.

- Uh, can I help you?

- It is too hot in here.

I am going to take off

my clothes.

- Oh, my God.

- What is your name?

- l-I'm Douglas.

My name's Douglas.

- Douglas.

I wish you to take me

to your bed.

- Yeah.

Okay, sure.

- Now.

- Now?

Right, okay, back in a minute.

Okay, it's um...

this-this way.

- I know it's kind of small,

but a man's home

is his castle, right?

- This small sh*t apartment

crushes my soul.

- I'm sorry.

- You will make love to me now.

- Uh...

yeah, maybe we're rushing

into this a little too fast.

- Now, little man,

we will make love now.

- Okay.

- Tonight I will give you

brutal Russian sex,

and tomorrow night you will

let me into pawnshop.

- Well, I'm not sure

I want brutal Russian sex.

- You will like it,

piece of sh*t.

- Ow!

Oh.

Wait a minute.

- Quiet.

- Wait, wait,

what are you doin'?

What are you doin'?

[screaming]

[screaming]

That was awesome.

And really confusing.

- That was just the beginning.

- Oh, oh baby.

- Never do a job

without an Oriental.

We need an Oriental for karate

and computer stuff.

Now, this guy's the best.

I used to work with him

back in the day.

They called him the White Tiger.

- Oh, I'm sorry, we're closed.

- We're lookin'

for the White Tiger.

- The White Tiger's

no longer with us.

- What, he go to lunch?

- I think he means he's dead.

We're very sorry to hear that.

Who are you?

- My name is Bo.

The White Tiger was my uncle.

I'm the Gay Ninja.

And you are?

- Don't worry about our names.

- Dino Gallucio.

- Gay Ninja?

What's that all about?

- I'm protected by the power

of my dead uncle.

- Yeah, yeah, that's great.

What's up with the gay thing?

- I think he means happy gay.

- You mean happy gay?

- Sure.

- Huh.

- Huh.

- So the White Tiger

was your master?

- Uncle?

Yes.

- But you're definitely a ninja.

- Definitely.

- So, Bo...

you wanna make

some serious money?

- Sure.

- How tall are you?

- 5'8".

- What?

- We need a tall guy.

- Why?

- Never do a job

without a tall guy.

This is Big Jim.

- This animal with you?

- Yeah, he's with us.

- Okay to talk in front of him?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, he won't say nothin'.

So you ever do any alarm work?

- No.

- You good with electronics?

- Nuh-uh.

- You mind working with a team?

- I don't get along real well

with people.

- Show him how tall you are.

- 6'6".

Plus the hat.

- Yeah.

You got blueprints here?

- Submit a photo lD

and form 422A,

Public Architectural

Retrieval Request.

- No public.

This is between you and me.

- 422A.

[loud hip-hop music]

- Hey, Pops!

Let me get the structural

and soil reports

on a commercial building.

- Reason?

- What?

- The reason you want

the reports?

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