Capturing the Friedmans Page #5

or they're calling on

the phone all the time.

They're seeing each other

in group therapy.

And there is definitely

an element when a community

defines itself as

a victimized community,

that if you're not victimized

you don't fit into

that community.

The families that had

their child molested

or allegedly molested

became very involved

and took a greater part

of their life at that point.

I appreciated their call

in the beginning

telling me what happened.

And then when I told them

that we looked into it

and my wife and I both felt that

nothing happened to our son,

it got to be a little pushy

situation where they told us

that we were in denial, and it

absolutely happened to our son.

You f***ing b*tch!

I'm gonna kill you!

When Jesse gets out of jail,

he's a dead motherf***er.

When Arnold gets out of jail,

he's a dead motherf***er.

F*** you! I'll f***

your whole family!

Is there any one word or

phrase that you could use

to describe that

experience overall?

Chaos. Hysteria.

It was really crazy.

Am I dreaming?

Is this a nightmare?

This can't be happening

to my family.

My brother?

And a day doesn't go by

that I don't think of it.

It destroyed my family.

It tore us apart.

I don't know.

I can't say too much about it.

We were a family.

Mommy believes you did it

and she believes you

should go to jail,

and she believes that she

deserves everything

that's left and you shouldn't

have any part of it.

You have to hire another lawyer?

All this woman does

is hire lawyers.

I honestly have to tell you,

anything that she decides

I can't trust.

She runs around, "Arnie,

they don't trust me."

Well, we don't trust her.

We lived with her for 3, for 2

months while you were in jail,

and we learned not to trust her.

David had just gotten a video

camera when this case broke,

and so he just started recording

the family falling apart.

And Mommy believes them,

and I don't.

I tell them to get lost,

and Mommy says, "You're right."

And "I've lived with him

for all my life."

And "Look at all these horrible

things he's done for me"

"over 30 years," which

amounts to nothing,

except this.

At some point, David

making the videotapes

kind of springboarded to my

thoughts about audiotape.

And I began to make

audio recordings

of these family arguments.

Don't scream.

The family was screaming

at each other.

And everyone wanted me

to say, "He didn't do it."

Well, I wouldn't do that.

I said, "I don't know."

They wanted me

just to lie, you know,

and say, "He didn't do it,"

whether I believed it or not.

And I was so angry at Arnold

and what he'd done

that I wouldn't do it, and I

said, "Well, I don't know."

And I wanted just

to tell the truth.

That is the truth.

I didn't know.

My mother abandoned

him, pretty much,

wouldn't talk to him, fought

with him constantly,

made him sleep on the sofa.

And after 33 years of

marriage, when your wife,

when you've been accused of

a crime you didn't commit,

you spend 6 weeks in

jail for it,

you're trying to build

a defense,

and your wife leaves you,

essentially,

my father fell apart.

You yelled and screamed about

what, that you ruined her life.

She's brainwashed you.

You didn't do anything.

The police have done it to you.

It's not your fault.

The police are railroading you.

But it's not your fault.

Mommy doesn't believe you.

The police picked on you,

and that's who

they're going after.

It's not because

you deserved it.

You're taking the blame,

and you don't deserve the blame.

She's brainwashing you into

thinking that it's your fault,

and it's not your fault.

She thinks he did it.

And if he did it,

then she thinks

he's going to be

convicted of it.

And if he's convicted of it,

he's going to go away.

Yeah, but if, let's say he

goes away for 10 years.

He's still gonna come out.

No, I'm talking about 50 years.

I'm talking about 100 years.

She doesn't think

he's getting 50 years.

I don't think she thinks that

he's going to get 50 years.

OK, so what is he gonna get?

Twenty years?

That's 50 years.

What's the difference, well,

If he goes to a state

institution on state charges,

you know he's not coming back.

In this case, there was

consultations

between both sides, the District

Attorney's Office,

the families,

the defense attorneys,

as to what to do with

Arnold Friedman.

We were trying to maintain

a sense of normalcy

in terms of having dinner

and paying the bills,

but it was almost surreal.

I mean, I don't think

any of us had any notion

of what was going on

or what we were doing

or where any of this

was leading.

Sir, would you like to

comment on the situation?

Yes, I think this is a kitchen.

I thought it was only

going to last a year

and that we would look back

and laugh about how

crazy we were and how we didn't

know what we were doing

and just sort of laugh.

What do you want?

My nose? My teeth?

Wait a minute. There it is.

- There's your nose.

- Oh that's great.

I feel like I'm

being dissected here.

And here's Mommy and Daddy

in a rare moment of affection.

What's the matter?

- Why?

- Why?

Why not?

That's not all.

You've gotten other things.

Lately but not all.

You're the one

Who's stolen my heart, dear

I think I was the first woman

that he ever really dated.

And he was very reluctant

to get married.

I sort of said, "We've got

to do this," you know.

I could be very

So he says, "Well, all right."

Big mistake.

We were delighted.

She was effervescent, pretty.

They seemed to be

very much in love.

They seemed to be

very compatible.

It had been a long

time in coming.

My mother, "You're my oldest!"

"Get married! I want

a grandchild," you know.

My mother is sexually ignorant.

As far as I'm concerned, she had

sex, I mean everyone thinks

their parents only

had sex 3 times,

you know for each

of their siblings.

But with my mother,

I think it was true.

And it was like, you know,

you read in a book

how do you have sex,

and you start here,

and then you do step 1,

step 2, step 3.

And that's somewhat like what

sex was like with Arnold,

Because I used to say to him,

"It's called foreplay."

It's supposed to be play.

"It's supposed to be fun."

And he treated it like work.

Like this is what you're

supposed to do when you do it,

like washing the dishes.

If he was so much in the closet

and not living with her

and not attracted,

where was she for 30 years?

Why didn't she say, "Honey,

you're not having sex with me."

I think I want a divorce."

Where was she?

I don't think that's the case.

Either they're both crazy,

which is a possibility,

or

Or he was perfectly normal,

based according to, you

know, by her standards.

You're the one for me

It was a difficult marriage

because of Elaine.

She had her problems, and it

took a monumental amount

of patience and love

and caring to handle it.

It wasn't easy for him.

It wasn't easy for the kids.

But they were able

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes