Capturing the Friedmans Page #7

Oh, look at that.

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Is that a real ice cream?

That's what's so odd about it.

They had this idealized image

of this father as being this

saint-like person

this Santa Claus,

Messiah, you know.

And professionals

in the field say that

oh, they have this idea

that children identify

with the abusive parent.

When I was about a year or two,

my parents separated.

And what did I do?

"My father is wonderful.

My mother is terrible."

The truth is my father was a rat

just like David's father.

My father walked out.

This is not wonderful.

This is being a rat.

My mother was a nag.

Well, I mean, this is true

but look, she stayed with me,

she took care of me.

So people's visions

are distorted.

I never felt angry at my dad.

My dad had nothing

to do with this.

Someone knocks on the door

and accuses you for a crime

you didn't commit

you gotta attack

attack your attackers

and do what you can.

And that's all it was.

It had nothing to do with

there was nothing else

that was involved at all.

We were talking about

honoring and respecting.

Yeah, but, yeah,

talk about honor and

do you honor and respect

your husband?

That's why I don't talk to you.

I said I did honor

and respect my husband.

Oh, Okay.

But you don't like that answer.

No I don't.

I don't believe it, no.

Ask your father.

Do I honor and respect you?

Do you object to my handling

do you have any objection

in my relationship with you?

Do you like it

when she calls you slime?

She did.

Did you like it when she did?

OK.

Did you like it when

The other cases that

I've written about

those families

have been much stronger.

First of all,

they've started from

a monolithic feeling

of innocence

which didn't exist

in this family

because of Arnold's pedophilia.

And they just buckled down

and everybody gets behind

the defendant

the accused family member.

People quit their jobs.

And, you know

people were all sitting around

the kitchen table

for the next 3 years with

staplers and Xerox machines

and they're working on

the defense.

And then when the defendant

is convicted

they're working on the appeal

and all family conflict

is submerged.

Why don't you try once

to be supportive of me?

Well, I'll tell you why.

Because we all started at

the beginning of this thing

and I

Well let's start from right now.

OK, let's start from right now.

All right, let's start

from right now.

We'll all start brand new.

We have a decision making

process on the table.

Great.

All the past mistakes,

they were mistakes.

We're not gonna hold them

against anyone.

Great, great.

Now we're starting afresh.

Stop. Lower your voice,

and talk nicely to your sons.

Alright, now we're gonna do it,

starting now.

Seth, why don't you call me?

Do I bawl you out?

Seth is

...against me

and she can't hold it

against me.

Well, now it's time to call it

'cause Mommy's sad and stuff.

I think there was a recognition

that Arnold's case was becoming

increasingly hopeless

because of the child

pornography problem

because of other people

coming out of the woodwork.

So the strategy evolved to

"What can we do to save Jesse?"

Jesse's lawyer

very eloquently said to us

"If there's a rowboat

and it's sinking"

and the rowboat

is tied to a rock

you have to disconnect

the rowboat from the rock

and save the rowboat

"even though the rock is sinking"

Meaning you had to separate

Arnold from Jesse.

And Arnold was going to plead

and Jesse would

in some way benefit.

I was sitting there

potentially going to trial

with no pornographic magazines

admitted into evidence

without an adult pedophile

as a co-defendant

and I understood

that sort of reasoning

but it makes no sense

if my father pleads guilty

and then I go to trial and say,

"I didn't do it"

when all the jurors have already

read in the newspaper

that my father plead guilty.

And I did not want my father

to plead guilty.

I arranged for Mr. Friedman

and his family

to get a jury room

where they could sit

and they could discuss

these plea options.

And while I didn't go

inside the room

except to knock on the door

and say where we're at

in terms of what Mr. Friedman

wanted to do

there was a lot

of yelling and crying

and screaming going on,

coming out of that room.

God damn it!

When I screamed at Arnold,

I screamed

"You must do it

because it'll help Jesse.

Do it for Jesse."

And my brothers were

just furious at this notion

that my father would go to court

and plead guilty.

And at one point

in all of the chaos

my father

just started screaming.

And there's uncontrollable tears

and he picked up a chair.

I remember he threw a chair.

He was just screaming about how

he wasn't gonna plead guilty.

He didn't do anything,

he's not gonna plead guilty.

And he was furious at my mother

and he was just freaking out.

And I remember very clearly

sitting down with my father

in the corner.

My mother's over there,

brothers are over here.

I'm talking to

my father privately

and he asked me

what he should do.

And I could have said

to my father

"I want you just

to walk out of here

and go to trial

and not plead guilty."

Instead, I remember

very clearly saying to him

I wanted him

to make the decision.

And I remember feeling like

a really young kid.

Kind of looking up

to my Dad and saying

"Dad, I," you know

"I want you to be my Daddy."

And I would have been really,

really proud of him

if he had just stood up and said

"Elaine,

I'm not pleading guilty.

We're going to trial."

But that's not what happened.

Former New York City

schoolteacher Arnold Friedman

had nothing to say when he left

the Nassau County Courthouse

in Mineola

but inside he pleaded guilty to

more then 40 counts of sodomy

sexual abuse, and endangering

the welfare of a child.

Attempted sexual abuse

in the first degree

an "E" felony, two counts

and endangering the welfare

of a child

a class "A" misdemeanor,

one count

in full satisfaction

of this indictment?

Yes.

My mother manipulated him.

My mother is crazy

and my mother has control

over my father.

Some relationships have that

where the woman

controls the man.

It's called being p*ssy whipped.

My father and my mother

are not the only

two people in the world

who have that relationship.

My father and mother

had that relationship.

My mother and the lawyers said,

"Take the plea."

They took the plea.

I sat there in disbelief.

Is this my brother?

My brother?

This isn't my brother,

he's not a monster.

He's a good loving brother

and husband, and son,

and citizen, and teacher

and this isn't happening.

This is a mistake.

Something as horrendous

as child molestation

you have to live with yourself.

If you didn't do it,

you don't plead guilty.

I never understood it.

We have Elaine.

- Hi.

- We have Teddy, Arnie.

Number 4753206.

Don't. Please don't film me.

David, I told you

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