Career Girls

- Oh, hello.

- Hello. Are you, uh, Hannah?

- It's "Han-nah," actually.

- Oh, right.

- And this is Claire.

- Oh, I-I'm Annie.

Oh. Do come in, Annie.

- Thank you.

- All right.

I was just giving Charlie his dinner.

Oh, sorry.

This is Charlie.

And I'm Charlie's aunt, as in "Aren't I,

Charlie?" You behave yourself.

Oh, bloody hell. She's on drugs.

- It's for me asthma.

- Oh, right.

- Do you mind if I smoke?

- No.

Oh, it's a bit kamikaze, isn't it?

- What course are you on?

- Psychology.

Oh, bloody hell.

I'd better get on the couch.

Psychoanalysis

hardly comes into it at all.

Psychology is actually the scientific study

of human behavior.

Oh, well, that's all right then,

'cause I'm a dirty rat.

You could study her.

- So you both do English then?

- Yeah.

- "To be or not to be?"

- "That is the question."

- A very good one.

- I know what you mean, yeah.

This is my favorite band... The Cure.

- Oh, it's hers as well.

- Really?

- No.

- So, uh...

- what do you think of the old place?

- Nice, yeah.

Thirty pound a week inclusive,

but I'm a bit worried 'cause...

what does "must have G.S.O.H." mean?

'Cause I don't know

if I've got one, you see.

Oh, right. Uh, that just means

a good sense of housekeeping, doesn't it?

Oh, right. Well, I have to do a lot of dusting

'cause of me allergies and that, so...

It means good sense of humor.

An analogy to dust.

Now, what could that be?

- God's dandruff, maybe?

- Is that eczema?

No, it's dermatitis.

Well, it's better than "determinitis,"

which is what I've got. Let's face it!

- Did you walk?

- No, I got a taxi.

Hello.

- Hello.

- All right.

- Come on in, Annie. Make yourself at home.

- B*tch!

- Pervert!

- She's been to see her mum.

Oh, right.

Never, never!

She's a f***ing b*tch!

I'm never f***ing going

there again! That's it!

- Oh, hiya.

- Hello.

You look so smart.

- Speak for yourself.

- Oh, yeah.

No, you do.

Let me take this.

No, it's all right.

It's really heavy.

- This is for you. It's, uh, nothing.

- You shouldn't have bothered.

- Come on. Let me take it.

- All right then.

- Did you get a cup of tea?

- Yeah, and a sarnie.

It's only one

and a half hours journey.

Uh, it's not much.

It's, uh, for your flat.

- Oh, you didn't need to. - Oh, it's

only a last-minute thing from Doncaster.

- The car's not very far, so...

- Oh. Is it on a meter?

- No, it's in the car park.

- Oh.

Oh, it feels strange, this.

- Yeah, it does, doesn't it?

- Mm. No, no, I mean London.

Oh, I see.

Has it changed much?

I don't know.

It has and it hasn't.

- Do you know what I mean?

- Yeah, I think so.

It all looks the same,

but... it feels different.

Stupid tosser.

- I'll tell you what is strange though.

- What?

- Seeing you driving.

- Well, it's the company car.

Oh, look at you!

I've got to drive me own jalopy.

You'll get one when

you're promoted, won't you?

I hope not to be there much longer.

Have you read this...

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bront?

- Yeah, it's great, and her house is near my house.

- Is it?

- Yeah. I've been there.

- Have you?

- Yeah. Yorkshire.

- Oh, right.

- I've got a question.

- Come on then.

Ms. Bront, Ms. Bront...

who will I have sex with next?

It's a bit like the I Ching, isn't it?

Except you don't have to scratch it.

"Himself befo..."

- "Erecting himself before."

- Yes!

- Yes! Well, you'll be all right then, won't you?

- It's your turn.

- Let her have a go.

- No.

- Go on.

- Come on. Ask Emily your question.

Okay. Will I find a fellow soon?

No, you've got to say

"Ms. Bront" twice.

Oh, sorry.

Miss Bront...

- Ms. Bront. Ms. Bront.

- Oh, okay.

Uh, Ms. Bront, Ms. Bront, will I...

um, will I find a fellow soon?

Wait for it.

"Must come." Well!

At least he'll know what

to do with his index finger.

So, um, do you need, like,

special soap for your, uh...

- Yeah, sometimes, yeah.

- Is it catching?

- No.

- You do look like you've done the tango with a cheese grater.

If you don't mind my saying so.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

- Are you all right?

- Yeah.

- I was only pissin' about.

- I know, I know.

- Well, you gotta laugh, though, ain't ya?

- Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Really.

- I'll see you in a bit then.

- Yeah.

What lovely houses.

Yeah, it's a nice, quiet street, isn't it?

Yeah.

Here we are.

I'm right at the top.

- Oh, a real garden.

- Yeah, that's the people downstairs.

Oh, I'm puffed out.

I'm really unfit.

Here we are.

Home, sweet home.

Welcome to my humble abode

and other domestic clichs.

Oh, it's lovely.

It's so bright and cheery.

I like the yellow.

It's still my favorite color, you know.

- Yeah, I painted it when I moved in.

- Primrose.

Looks like piss.

I've gone off it now.

Right. Let's put the kettle on.

Oh, what a gorgeous view!

Real surprise, huh?

Good morrow, Mr. Magpie.

Sorry. I'm so superstitious.

- You're allowed to be.

- That's daft, I know.

- Oh, a fax machine.

- Yeah, I need it for work, really.

- Oh, you've got everything.

- Well, I wouldn't say that.

Now, what would you like?

I've got ordinary tea, herbal teas...

or there's a filter coffee.

I'd like a coffee.

Do you mind?

No, not at all.

I'm having one.

Oh, what a great settee.

Is this from Habitat?

No, that's one of

my sister's castoffs, actually.

- It's a sofa bed.

- Oh, is it?

Why don't you sit down?

Let me take this. I'll open it later.

- Is this where I'm sleeping?

- No, I'm sleeping there.

You're sleeping in my boudoir.

Follow me.

Oh, you've got a skylight.

Yeah. Bit noisy when it rains.

Good for the stars at night.

Romantic.

Now, I've put clean sheets on the bed,

and there's a fresh towel.

- Why can't I sleep in there?

- Well, because that mattress is even lower than this one.

And I remember what you're

like with your allergies...

so I thought you'd be

better off in here.

But as long as I'm not

on the floor, I don't mind.

Well, whatever. Anyway, there's the bathroom,

if you want to have a crap.

I'm gonna make the coffee.

I don't know why we dont just get a coffin

and put everything in that.

- I can't hear you.

- I said I don't know why we don't just get a coffin...

and put everything in that.

Oh, hurry up. I'm cold.

All right. I'm going as fast as I can.

Who the f*** do you think I am?

Speedy Gonzalez?

My arms are wrecked.

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Yours. Mine, mine.

- Do you want this?

- No, I don't.

I thought you might,

'cause I f***ing well don't.

Introducing Semiotics.

Mine. Mine.

Oh, look. Wuthering Heights.

Why don't you ask Ms. Bront...

to inform you what the rest

of your entire life will consist of?

- Don't want to.

- Go on. I insist.

- No!

- Oh, you don't want to?

Well, that's interesting,

'cause neither do I!

What will we do with these?

There's only five.

We'll chop that one in half.

Tell you what. You take

three, and I'll take two.

I know. You have three,

and I'll have two...

and you can give

this one to your mum.

But what about your mum?

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