Carry On ... Follow That Camel Page #8

Synopsis: Bertram Oliphant West (also known as Bo West) wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation. He joins the Foreign Legion, with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there is trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise.
Genre: Comedy
Year:
1967
320 Views


But first,

in accordance with the

custom of our tribe,

you will all give your gifts

to the glory of Abdul.

To the glory of Abdul.

To the glory of Abdul.

To the glory of Abdul.

Thank you.

Jane.

Bo.

Don't make a sound.

All right, come on.

Oh, Bo. Bo.

Dear, dear Jane.

- Are we... are we in time?

- For what?

Well, you know. Has

he...? Have you?

Oh, no, he hasn't.

But neither have I.

- My love.

- Maximilian.

My love.

Do not worry, Max is

here. I will take

you to the fort. You

will be safe there.

I wouldn't like to bet on that.

If you'll pardon me, sir, it's

time I got Lady Jane out of here.

He's right, go ahead.

I'll keep watch.

Look out. Somebody's coming.

To the glory of Abdul.

Thank you very much, I'm sure.

All right, what was

all that about?

They keep bringing money for him.

For him? You mean he

gets paid for it?

Boy, I'm in the wrong racket.

This is not good. If they

keep coming in and out,

one of them will see Lady Jane

is missing and raise the alarm.

That's right, we need ten minutes

to get her safely

back to the fort.

Hey, maybe one of us

could take her place.

That's a good idea, Sergeant.

- Somebody small.

- Exactly, Sergeant.

Like you.

Maybe it's not such a

good idea, after all.

But it is, Simpson. It's an

absolutely splendid one.

Quickly, my love, go behind the

screen and change the clothes.

That shouldn't take long.

Well, get a move on,

Simpson. Take them off.

Oh, very well, sir.

Do you mind, sir?

Well?

- Do I have to, sir?

- If you don't mind, Simpson.

Very well, sir.

- Hurry it up, will you, you guys?

- We're ready.

He wants to do. Quickly,

my love. This way.

Thanks. Simmy.

Sir, what am I going to do,

sir, when the chief comes?

That's a good question,

Simpson, and

er... I wish I knew a good answer.

Thank you, sir.

Don't forget, we need a

good clear ten minutes.

Now, you mustn't let him

find out till then.

Sir.

Sir, Mr Bo, sir, he's bound to

find out when my time is nigh.

But, Sergeant, you're not going to

leave me alone with

this man, are you?

Simmy, relax. All brides are

nervous on their wedding night.

But I don't know what to do.

Just keep calm, and keep

your fingers crossed, too.

Well, remember, if

things go wrong,

you can always escape through

the trap door at the back.

- Have fun.

- But, Sergeant.

My people. You have given enough.

I can wait no longer.

I'm really engaged to a very

well-known butcher

in Wolverhampton.

- Come, my little...

- No, not this week.

Lily of the Nile.

- Come, O sweet one.

- No, no. No, no.

Come.

You see, I'm only

here for two weeks.

Aye, aye. You can put that away.

- I will have you.

- No, no. No, no.

Open the gates, Clotski. It's us.

Come on.

Has the chief found

out about Simpson?

I don't think so.

- Argh. Help.

- He has now.

Oh. Oh. Hello, boys.

Stop him. Stop him.

I have been tricked.

Bring me this man.

I will have his kidneys

grilled for breakfast.

I swear it by the

prophet Mustafa Leak.

Mustafa Leak.

Never mind all that

claptrap, you fools.

After him. After him.

Here he comes.

Give him covering fire.

Oh. Oh. Oh, let me in.

Accursed ones.

You will all die for this.

I, Abdul Abulbul, swear it.

You will all die at dawn.

Well, that makes sense. That

mob against the six of us.

All is not lost yet,

Sergeant. There

are still two hours before dawn.

Come, let us see what's

in the storeroom.

Not much ammunition, Sergeant.

Well, there's gunpowder.

A gramophone. That's

just what we needed.

I suppose we could

give them the needle.

Sergeant.

I thought I'd inject a little

humour in a tense moment.

And over there. You see? Figs,

dates, senna pods, cascara.

They couldn't have been

regular troops, sir.

Let's see. They've got

indigestion tablets,

glucose tablets, salt

tablets, the pill,

and...

The pill?

What do you suppose

they use that for?

I can't conceive.

And you see over here? Gum Arabic.

We need gum Arabic.

We need it like we need

a hole in the head.

That's the luck

we're running here.

We can't find anything... Hold it.

Gum Arabic. Gum...

Sir, it might just work.

Come, now. Now.

Come on, come on.

Push. Push. Push.

So, you see, dearest Bo, you

didn't trip Humphrey at all.

He deliberately told a

lie to dishonour you.

And so, you, dear

sweet wonderful Jane

travelled all this way

alone to tell me?

Oh, it was nothing. Everybody

was terribly kind.

In fact, they couldn't do enough.

How sweet.

Do you realise what

this means, Simpson?

My name is cleared. We

can return to England.

Yes, sir, if we ever

get out of this lot.

Now. Now.

We will move into position now.

Stop firing.

They are on the run.

Argh. Oh. Oh. Argh.

Oh. Argh.

Rousing German song ♪

Stop firing.

A relief force.

♪ What the hunter does ♪

♪ The rose stays here ♪

♪ And gave her here ♪

What did I tell you?

We got 'em worried.

Are you all right, sir?

Yes, but keep a

lookout. They'll attack

once they know what's happening.

♪ And he speaks

♪ The girl on ♪

Oh, that's torn it.

We've got a few surprises

left for them.

Attack. Kill.

Look out. Here they come.

Kill.

All right, look alive. Another

50 yards, they'll be in it.

Kill. Kill them.

Go on. Go on, you fools. Attack

and kill them. Go on, kill them.

Bingo. Let 'em have it.

I'm enjoying this, you know.

Well, don't just

hold it, throw it.

Oh.

Just like old times, sir.

Thank you, sir. Argh. Ooh.

Go on. Go on, you fools.

Argh.

Here. More ammunition, quick.

- There's no more ammunition left.

- Hey, Cricket Joe.

More bombs.

Close of play, Sergeant.

They're all finished.

Well, that's done

it. The minute they

get out of that goo, we're cooked.

Ooh. I do believe we've

come in the nick.

Company.

We're moving into action.

Forward.

This time you win, but I

shall have my revenge.

I swear it.

Hey.

Simmy, baby, I told

you we'd... Hold it.

What's happened to the Kommandant?

- Have you been hit, sir?

- Yes, in many places.

Have some water, sir.

You'll feel better.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Sergeant Nocker.

Yeah. Kommandant.

If you don't mind.

Bo. How are you? Lady Jane.

Oh, it's good to see you,

Sergeant. Can you stay a while?

Well, I just didn't come for

tea and crumpets, old boy.

Wonderful. I'll get Simpson

to collect your things.

Hold it. Never mind

that, I got my own

batman. Look alive. On the double.

Left, right, left, right, hee-yah.

Your batman?

Well, you must admit,

it's better than Robin.

Oh. Excuse me. Sir.

You're in.

Oh, thank you very

much indeed, Simpson.

Well, I'll see you

in a few moments,

Kommandant. Have a

talk with my wife.

Give 'em a good go, Bo.

Well, Lady Jane, you're

looking lovelier than ever.

Thank you.

And I see you've been

kept rather busy.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Talbot Rothwell

Talbot Nelson Conn Rothwell, OBE (12 November 1916 – 28 February 1981) was an English screenwriter. more…

All Talbot Rothwell scripts | Talbot Rothwell Scripts

0 fans

Submitted by Julian.al.oneil on January 09, 2024

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Carry On ... Follow That Camel" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/carry_on_..._follow_that_camel_27373>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    What does "EXT." stand for in a screenplay?
    A Extension
    B Exterior
    C Extra
    D Exit