Carry on Regardless Page #2

Stay away from me, dangerous lady.

He'll be here in seconds.

You might as well make it look good.

Kiss me.

Madam!

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me...

Penny!

Let me go, you beast!

Can I help it if I'm irresistible?

Mr Panting, I can explain.

I'm from Helping Hands. Let me go.

My braces. I can explain everything.

Your wife... oh, my braces.

It all started with the baby...

Darling.

Did you hurt your hand?

"Attractive man required

to model for our..."

Morning. Oh, sorry.

It blew off. Oh.

Ahem!

Aye aye.

Yes, madam, right away.

Yes, certainly, thank you.

Job for you.

As a model?

Lady wants someone to walk her pet.

It's a lovely day. Do you good.

Nice address, anyway.

I'm from Helping Hands. I understand

you want me to take your pet out.

Oh, yes. I got such an awful cold.

Well, never mind.

Where is the little chap?

Here.

Oh, I, really, I... I rather er...

Helping Hands

said they can do anything.

And so we will. What's his name?

Yoki.

Yoki.

Don't let him out of your sight.

No. Come on, Yoki.

Which way? This way? That way?

Oh, down here, all right. Come along.

Go for a nice walk, shall we?

Walk nicely.

You're not bringing that on here.

But he's tired and the best way to

see London is from the top of a bus.

Not this one. Great hairy thing.

I am not!

Hold tight.

I'll report you to the RSPCA.

Cheeky monkey!

No offence. The British Transport

Commission should hear about this.

Taxi! Taxi!

Can you take us to...

I'll take you, but not your brother.

We've had a long walk. We're tired.

Why not climb in a tree for a kip?

Thank you very much Charming.

Did you hear what he said?

Do you want to go somewhere?

Oh, I see. You want to see

your friends. And so you shall.

Just in time for tea.

Morning, Lil.

Morning.

Is it worth taking my coat off?

I've got a beaut for you.

Collecting invitation cards

and being pleasant.

I say, that'll be nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good morning.

Good morning.

That's everybody.

A nice crowd they are, too.

Yes, very.

Can I render any further service?

Just collecting these cards

isn't sweated labour.

Please be our guest.

Oh, I say. Thanks.

Are you a lover of the grape,

Miss Duveen?

Actually, no.

I never know what to do with

the pips - flick, collect or spit.

Well, I never...

Will you excuse me?

Madam, for you? A soupcon?

Really? What kind of soup?

Soup? Madam, there is no soup.

You just said there was.

I asked if you'd care to taste

the 1952.

Rather! Such a pretty colour.

Like Coca-Cola. Thanks, I'll try it.

Madam, please. Don't unsettle it.

Wow! That's what I call a drink.

I'll have some more. Fill it up.

Fill? To the brim.

Let's have a proper drink.

Madam, you're supposed to taste

several wines.

Don't worry, I will. Fill it up.

Not exactly heavy-handed, are you?

Oh, well, here's cream

on your salad!

Tickle.

Nice.

By George!

Hello.

Powerful stuff.

I see you had the Nuit-St-Georges.

A dignified wine, don't you think?

Oh, very.

It was a fascinating experience.

Have you ever...

What are you doing down there?

Getting up. But I can't.

Come along, young lady. Hup!

No handling, if you please.

But I was only...

I know your sort. That'll do.

Bless my soul!

It certainly was powerful stuff.

Marvellous!

Did you see that? Do do it again.

Madam!

Oh, dear. Just shows you. First time

must have been beginner's luck.

I really...

I'm so sleepy.

You can't sleep here, madam.

What's going on? I'm dropping off.

Miss Duveen! If my wife were to...

A married man,

making advances to me?

I didn't!

Chuck him out!

Miss Duveen, please.

I keep being insulted at this do.

Miss Duveen, this is not a do.

Don't speak to me like that!

I'm most terribly sorry.

All right, all right, I'm going.

I wouldn't stay here if you paid me.

I can't apologise enough.

Come on, gorgeous.

Hey! Hold up there.

Let's get out of here together, hm?

Disgraceful. A load of drunks.

We've got them all working.

On the day we got our first office

flowers. The sign of success.

Isn't it wonderful?

Cigar?

No, I don't smoke, thank you.

Come in.

You again.

There's no rights than me to beheed.

Miss Cooling.

Oh, not agrail! It's you I'm going

to thalkest to, come what mayload.

Just tell my secretary.

Miss Coollie?

Oh, perhaps I willed.

Perhaps this lade shall understand

the simply measure I'm to offering.

Have I your attentiahoad, madler?

Lovely day, yes.

I'm not here

to discussit the weatheraped.

We should listen together.

You deal with it, Miss Cooling.

There's no understab in your

eardroves! Beyond my comprehoad.

You don't understand

a syllabulb I'm uttering.

You're from sanitation?

I didn't catch that.

He mentioned the guttering.

I did knockers!

There's nothing wrong

with the guttering.

It said which knockers

intern or extern rebode.

It's your responsible

to sign it flap.

You understand, Miss Cooling.

No.

What do you mean, nockers?

You think I talk doplo dutchery?

Dutch!

He's Dutch!

We have a man...

A lere leeny...

Don't get excited. This man

very clever. He speak 16 language.

You come back...

I am not Dutch!

Look, I'm a very busy man.

Do you think I stand for a loafery?

He wants a chauffeur!

We don't compete with car-hire firms.

I'm gome, but I recoil.

To blaze with all communicail,

save the voice and languie

my voice and languie.

This is mobe obsession - to convey

the message. I will for doom that.

I don't want your grames,

but I'll play to the bitter hobis.

How dare you!

And when I recoil alert and refresh,

you shall understab!

And you!

Handy? Who's Handy?

I am.

You look it, I must say.

Thank you. Won't you sit down?

No. I'm Amalagamated Scrap Iron.

You must be a millionaire.

Four times over.

Do sit down.

I've already said no!

Do you provide substitutes?

No! This is a respectable firm.

You know the hospital up the road?

Oh, yes.

Keep my place for me today.

Eh?

Didn't I make myself clear?!

I just don't understand.

You're a millionaire.

Four times over.

And you go to an NHS hospital.

It's the principle.

I buy my stamp and have my money's

worth. But I've no time to wait.

Got to take over

International Screws today.

Will you do it? Yes or no?

I'll put my best operative onto it.

You won't! I want you.

The head man, or the deal's off.

Very well. Have a cigar.

Don't smoke 'em. Neither should you.

Bad for you.

What a stench.

Have a flower to get rid of it.

Good morning, Doctor, Sister.

When Sir Theodore arrives,

telephone me at once.

Yes, Matron.

This is a vital inspection.

What he says goes. Clear?

Yes, but how do I recognise him?

He's not exactly handsome, but

I'm told he has a rugged grandeur...

..and he wears a flower

in his buttonhole.

Yes, Matron.

Doctor?

Doctor, he's here.

No!

I'll phone Matron.

Hello, sir. Hello.

This is an unexpected honour.

Is it?

Of course. That's nice of you.

Would you like to wait

in the examination room?

Yes, I don't mind. Thank you.

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