Carry on Regardless Page #6

What sort do you like?

Blue tits. Have you got any?

No, we've got central heating.

Oh, tropical birds.

We have one from Ceylon.

Oh, my goodness, how do I keep

the poor things warm in a taxi?

Look, chum, this is a respectable

place, you could bring your aunt.

Oh, thank you.

You're not from Helping Hands?

Yes.

You made a mistake.

I can't, we've got a system.

I asked for a chucker-out.

We've had trouble with gatecrashers.

I wanted somebody tough

to turf them out.

And you got me.

Yeah.

Yes. A job's a job, orders

are orders. When do I start?

You mean you'll take the job?

Yes, please.

Well, bully for you.

Thanks.

Oh, I say!

I couldn't bring my aunty here.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Gee up, gee up, gee up!

You need a punch up the beak.

How do you do?

I was thinking early busy, wondering

if you're ready for the frail.

Sir, perhaps I'll understand you

if you talk slowly.

Do me a favour - slowly.

For many crowthers, I have omster

investor moerd craymen foil.

I just don't understand him.

I do.

You do?

He gobbledegooks.

I don't care what he is.

You don't understand.

I know. Translate it.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Minda plow interpri?

Well, how extraordin necessar tooly.

You can strowl and tell

Mr hayden there was goeden.

Prepare yourself for a shock.

This is your landlord...

..and he's just given you notice.

Because I don't talk

his language? Racial prejudice.

No prejudice. Kalaba boawal.

Each man's

investment bowl futures.

And therefore us all upsars.

He's just received a much

better offer for these premises.

That's nice!

Just as we were settling in

so comfortably.

I don't realise the problem sown.

Get the message home for weeks.

He's been trying to tell you

for weeks about it...

..to soften the blow.

I'm sure we'd all chip in

to cover the increase.

Yeah.

No, we'll find new premises.

It took you three months to

find this place and it's no palace.

That's the end of Helping Hands.

Back to the labour exchange.

There must be some way out.

Yeah, that door, we're sunk.

Surely there's something we can do.

We must be sensible.

In his shoes, I'd do the same.

In his shoes, I'd run for me life.

It's not gonna solve our problem.

All conscience and shedy tear.

But I found a wet sea and water...

..but I say you can all stay remain

if you suffer generarops.

He's moved by our loyalty

to this enterprise...

..and we can stay.

Oh, that's nice. Thank you.

If we will do something for him.

What? I'll do anything.

I'll do anything.

I have in this enviros beautiful

lawns a great bildis biroque...

..and a gargol in front entrals,

windy staircase up to the ceily...

..and shandy ladies, fine centra

grives with Van Goghy...

..and if anyone come works

themselves to stickabick...

..this leasy is handy-ho, garba.

His main business

is property development.

He's bought the oldest,

dirtiest house he's ever had...

..and the cleaning

bill is prohibitive.

If we all clean it for him,

he'll give us a 99-years lease.

Why not make it the round 100?

You shuppy caky.

You shut your cakehole.

It'll take 99 years

to clear up this dump.

Yeah, well, step by step.

OK, boss, where do we start?

To make it easier to walk about,

the floor first.

It's better to start

at the top of the house.

Disturbed dust will fall down and

muck up what we've already cleaned.

May I submit for the sake

of efficient team working...

..that we all belt up.

Always the gent.

Let's put ourselves

in the hands of Sir Handy.

I like it noted I suggested

the suggestion I suggested.

Very suggestive it was too.

Over here, please.

Who's the scrubber?

In a straight line.

Get in a straight line. Come on.

Right now, you ready. Quick sweep!

One, two, one, two, one, two...

CHOKING:

I'll get some water.

Here, there's no water, we'll have

to turn on... the... the main.

The water mains.

Wonder where they are.

It's usually in the cellar.

I'll nip down and look. If I find it

I'll shout, you turn the tap on.

THUD:

Mr Handy!

Turn the flaming light on!

Oh, yes, but I'm not sure

where they put the...

Argh!

Don't go, there's so few left.

Where's the flaming light?!

The electricity

doesn't seem to be connected.

Someone might have told you

the stairs begin immediately.

Well, they didn't, did they?!

No, they didn't! Ohhh!

Can you find the water main

in the dark?

I'll try.

Oh, blimey! I found it

wiht my blasted shin!

Help, don't just stand there!

I say, how did you know

where I was standing? Ooooh!

I've just remembered,

I left the tap turned on.

We got it! Yeah!

Hurray!

Women and children first!

Thank you, Mother, come on!

Francis, where are you?

Where have you gone?

Turn it off!

I've just turned it on.

Turn it off!

Turn off the main!

Get down there and turn off the main!

Break it down!

Go on!

Are you all right?!

Of course he is. He's done it before

Fancy charging

a rotting old door like that.

Any idiot can tell if a door's

solid.

Test it. Simple.

Argh!

Hey, Dave!

Hello. I'm all right,

and I've turned off the main.

The water will die down in a moment.

There's a big hole.

I did suggest we started upstairs.

Look at all the mess.

I'm looking.

This is the end of Helping Hands.

What a remarkable

organisation set to sure.

Who would you know I'd decide

to demolish all this propy...

..and to build

a luxury modern flabablock?

You can say that again.

Flabablock.

Cor! Remarkabold.

An extraordinary pace of progress in

such a short tie load. Folly, folly.

Only one thing to sum up it.

What's that?

Carry-okus.

Goodly-bye load.

"What an organisation you are. How

could you know I'd change my mind...

..and pull the house down - the

greenhouse and wash house and..."

That fell down of its own accord.

He's going to build

a luxury block of flats.

Only one thing remains to be said -

carry on!

Regardless!

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