Carry on Screaming! Page #8

Ah!

Look.

Poor old Slobotham.

One of the finest men I ever had.

Sergeant! It's you! It's him!

You great, steaming nit! What are you

trying to do? Frighten me to death?

I'm sorry. I thought it was those

horrible things coming back.

It is those horrible things

coming back!

They must have got out.

Search the grounds.

Let's see if there's another way

out of here.

Doris!

It's not Doris.

It's only that dummy again.

Listen.

But I know it's her.

If only we had a bit more light in here,

you'd see that it wasn't.

There's a switch here, Sergeant.

There!

Now you've done it!

Now you have done it!

Why don't you Light a bonfire and let

them know we're here? Let's get out.

What... No, wait! Look.

Oh, Albert, you've been gone a long time.

There you are.

What did I tell you? It is her.

I don't believe it!

Don't you dare!

I only wanted to see

if she was hard or soft.

Albert, where are we?

Who are those people?

It's all right, darling.

They're just policemen.

Slobotham, I'm beginning

to think he's right.

There is something funny going on

in this house.

You don't know the half of it.

Did you see that awful-looking thing

they pulled out of that vat?

- What awful-looking thing?

- Oh, I can't describe it. Ugh!

It's in that crate over there.

I suppose we should have a look at it.

For evidence.

Yes.

Arghh!

Em... Emily!

Do you know her, Sergeant?

This awful-looking thing

happens to be my wife!

Oh, bad luck. Oh!

Oh, I mean, bad luck finding

her here like that.

Well, never mind that.

Help me to get her out of here.

Sergeant, she's as hard as a rock.

You don't have to tell me that.

I've been married to her for 15 years.

No, give her a knock.

Blimey. So she is.

Oh, come on. Let's get out of here.

They'll be back any minute.

He's right.

We've got to go and get help.

Don't worry, Em.

We'll be back for you later.

Albert?

Sorry. Stay where you are.

Don't move.

Don't move? What am I saying?

Stand back, or we'll fire!

Straight through them.

It hasn't even hurt 'em.

They're impregnant!

In there! Quick!

Slobotham! Come on,

pull yourself together! Come on.

Oh, did you see it, Sergeant?

It went right through it!

And I'll go right through yours if you don't

help me barricade this door. Come on.

Oh, Sergeant, it went through mine.

I knew we couldn't trust them

in a crisis.

They're in there.

After them! After them!

Doris! Do.. Do...

Brandy... Ah, brandy!

Well, don't just stand there.

Go through your own hole.

Come, Valeria.

Come on, get me more.

Get me the chair over there. Quick.

Come on, lad.

Good lad. Good lad.

That should hold them. I'd like to

see anybody get through that...

- No. Wait a minute. I'm on your side.

- You can't hit me. I'm a woman.

- He's changed again.

- Pity. I think I preferred him as he was.

W-What happened?

You won, by two falls and a submission.

Come on, let's go.

Ah! You thought you'd beaten me,

didn't you?

You think this is for greenfly,

don't you?

But it isn't, see? It's filled

with petrifying liquid. And it works.

Well, who's going to be first?

Rubbatiti!

I've done it!

He's come alive!

Oh, isn't he lovely?

What are you doing? Why are you

looking at me like that? It's me, Watty.

I'm your friend.

Rubbatiti!

- Please help him. He'll kill him.

- You're joking?

Mummy!

Give me one good reason

why I should help.

I shall be very, very grateful.

That's a good reason.

No. I'm your friend, Rubbatiti.

Get away from me. This is the thanks

I get for regenerating you?

Listen. Leave me alone.

I'll send you back to Egypt. I promise.

First class. All expenses paid.

You'll have a lovely trip.

Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

No! No! Aargh!

Don't look!

Argh!

Frying tonight!

Mr Potter!

We wanted you to be the first to know,

Sergeant.

Doris and me, we just got married.

- Well, congratulations!

- Thank you.

- Well, you'd better come inside.

- Oh!

That is good news.

- Oh, you've met the wife?

- I have, yes.

How are you, Mrs B...?

Oh!

- She's still a dummy!

- Yes, I'm afraid so.

Yes, but, Sergeant, you can

regenerate her, like we did Doris.

We've only got gas.

Are you ready for your tea, Sidney?

Yes, ta. Oh, and some

for my friends, love.

Certainly, Sidney.

You mean, she's looking after you?

That's right.

Horrible, isn't it?

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