Cas & Dylan Page #4

Cas, about uh, crashing

your car. Really,

really sorry.

What's with

the dog corpse?

- Don't go there.

- Don't go there?

That's it? You have a

frozen dog in your

cooler. Are you into

necro-bestiality? I read

about that once, it's,

it's not my thing.

But, you know...

- We'll just have to

wait and see, won't we?

(Cas chuckles)

- How do I know

you're not gonna kill me?

- Because I would of

done that already.

- Oh.

- Definitely.

- So...

- Look, my dog died.

That's fact. No fiction.

That's reality. I would

like to bury him

somewhere nice.

- Ah... well um,

you broke your lower

control arm. Uh, it's

gonna be a couple hours

though. There's a little

drinking hole down the street--

- Oh yes,

yes! Come on boy.

- Here, let

me get that for you.

- Drink up.

- "To whom it may

concern." That's what

you've got so far? Are you

applying for a job in the

afterlife. Wow, you need

me more than I thought.

- Rule number one. Remember?

Stay out of my business.

- Cas?

- Yes, Dylan?

- Why are you

killing yourself?

- Because I have a

malignant grade four

glioblastoma

brain tumor. Okay?

- That's horrible.

- Well it's one of the

less fun tumors, let's put

it that way.

- Shouldn't you

be in a hospital?

- No.

- Well I don't get

it. You're a doctor, isn't

modern medicine

your thing?

- Yes. That's how come

I know its limitations.

- Okay.

I'm not judging.

- No, that would

be out of character.

But killing

yourself is kind of the

worst. Like on a scale of

1 to 10 of things that are

the worst, killing

yourself is like a 10.

- Actually, I could

think of a hundred things

worse than killing

yourself before I took

another breath.

- Mmn. You're

playing god.

- No, no no.

You're playing god.

- What? How am I--

- We're gonna have to

agree to disagree. Okay? I

have a malignant

inoperable brain tumor.

That's killing me. I'm

not killing me. I'm just

choosing the date. You got

a problem with that? Take

it up with the tumor.

I want to

settle up my tab.

- Yup, I'll

just get it in a sec.

- Pizza, sushi,

taxi. You win, Denise.

- Hey, this is Denise! I'm not

in. You know what to do.

- Better?

- Yeah.

- Ooo. Such a

handsome couple.

- No, we're not--

- Thank you.

- Are you

from around here?

- No, no. We're just

passing through. We are

synchronized swimmers.

- Dylan!

- Well we were. I

mean, we were part of an

internationally recognized

synchro trio, but when Cas

fell in love with me it

caused a shift in our

group synchronicity,

so... The team fell apart.

- Oh dear.

- The emotional

ramifications were too

much for us. We hung up

our swim suits for good.

- Oh.

- Okay, we're just

about done here. We can

settle up at the counter.

Sorry Mrs. Henderson,

you're gonna have to leave your

truck in here overnight.

- Oh.

- Do you have a

way to get home? Or...

- Oh we'll drive you! Ow!

- Oh ho. Oh! Well

lovely. You can stay for

dinner. We'll do

up the guest room.

(music)

- This is... Quite the

meal. Were you guys, uh,

expecting anyone else?

- Oh no. These days

it's just the two of us.

- This pasta sauce

is incredible. Thank you.

- Just something

I whipped up.

- You know who makes

the best pasta sauce I've

ever tasted?

(Cas):
Uh, that's fine.

- Who?

- This guy.

It's incredible. I

don't know what he puts in

it. It's top secret, but I dream

about it. I would give

anything to know what's in it.

- You dream

about what?

- Oh, his sauce.

- Oh!

- She's being dirty.

It's a double-entendre! (laughs)

- Oh!

- Oh no no no. No.

No, I'm being serious. I

mean, he doesn't like when

I brag about it. He can't

stand being in the

spotlight. It was a real

problem back in

our synchro days.

- Um, you have a

very nice place here.

- Oh. Thank you.

- We moved in here in

1959. Fifty-four years ago.

- Wow. Amazing.

- Folks come and go.

- Not us.

Steady as a rock.

- You two are like

two little turtle doves.

- When I first met

Rose, I said that's the

one for me. How

much? (laughs)

- Oh! Jack!

- Ho ho!

- You're so bad! Oh--

- Come here.

(Chuckles)

- Excuse me.

- Oh my god. How cute

are they? They're amazing,

aren't they Cas?

- Sure.

- They're like the

Cleere's on Ketamine. They

just seem so content, you

know? Living without a

care in the world. It

almost seems like old

people are in on a secret

that the rest of us has

yet to learn.

What do you think?

- F***!!! I used

to be able to do this.

- Well I used to be

able to do the splits. So

what? It's just a pen.

- You wanna

know what I think?

- Mmhmm.

- I think that he's in

the advanced stages of

Parkinson's and she's

in the middle stages of

Alzheimer's. And their

bodies are deteriorating.

Luckily enough for them,

they won't notice because

their minds are going even

faster.

- Yes, but they're in love.

(laughs)

- And that has nothing to do

with anything.

- Well I guess we'll

just agree to disagree.

Sorry about your pen.

- I just don't wanna

talk about Jack and Rose

anymore, okay?

- Okay.

- I'm sorry.

I'm just tired.

I'm just really tired.

- Let me ask you

this. Why are you even

writing a note if you have

no intended recipient? If

you don't know who you're

writing to it's going to

be vague and impersonal.

Do you want a vague and

impersonal suicide note?

Sorry, "legacy" note.

'Kay this isn't a

form letter. These are

your last words. So

there's gotta be somebody

that you wanna say

something too. Come on.

Okay another thing,

I don't know how you can write

anything the way you

are. You're completely rigid.

- I am loose

as a goose.

- Ohhh yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah. The black

coffee. No sugar. The hand

sanitizer. You were gonna

take that boat of

yours on this trip.

- Do you know how

safe that car was?

- This is exactly

what I'm talking about.

What are you scared of?

Getting killed? That was

boring. Cas, Jennifer

is fun. Right? She's

colorful. She's orange.

- She's irrelevant! I

don't care what color the

car is. I don't care what

color my tie is. I don't

care. Don't you get it?

You don't understand.

- Okay. I'm just trying

to help you write your note.

- No, you're not.

- Yes.

- You're just

distracting yourself from

reality with bullshit.

- You want a reality

check? I'm actually a ray

of sunshine in

your dismal life.

- Aha! Ahahaha! You

are a ray of sunshine...

- Yeah.

- ...In my life.

- Yes!

- I am a ray of

sunshine in your dismal

life, baby! You just don't

have the guts to look

inside yourself

and find it.

All right.

Half an hour.

- All right.

- And Dylan. Uh, buy

yourself some clothes,

okay? You're

beginning to smell.

- Oh, right, I smell.

Yeah. There's a dead dog

fermenting in the back

seat and I'm the problem.

- Is that a piece

of gum in your hair?

- I was wondering

what happened to that.

Thanks Columbo.

- Ugh. Dylan!

- Yeah.

- Pay for the clothes.

- Okay. Sure.

(music)

(clerk clears throat)

- Might I recommend an album?

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