Casanova Brown Page #7

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over like picking out a secondhand car.

If they like her, they take her.

If not, back she goes into stock.

That's what they're gonna do with her.

But how can they if you're the father?

Being a father is not enough,

you've got to be a mother, too.

If that ain't murder.

A man's not capable of taking care

of a child, not according to the courts.

He can build bridges,

he can fly around the world,

he can be president

and run the whole United States,

but taking care of a child

is too much for him!

For that, you've got to be a woman.

Any woman.

But don't you worry, my darling,

we'll see if we're licked yet.

You mean, if you married again,

you could keep her?

That's right.

- Monica?

- Yes, sir?

I...

I find myself in an extremely

awkward position.

Yes, sir.

- Are you married?

- Me?

- Are you engaged?

- No, not definitely.

Well, what I'm going to say may

come to you as somewhat of a surprise.

How's that, Mr. Brown?

Will you marry me?

- Do what?

- Marry me.

- When?

- Now.

Are you kidding?

How do you like that? Go on.

Go on?

Well, what about me?

You?

Well, it must be obvious

that I'd never make such a proposal

involving my whole life and happiness

and the whole life

and happiness of my daughter,

if I hadn't...

If I hadn't fallen under the spell

of your warmth

and your attractiveness,

- and...

- And?

And beauty.

Well, you're cute, I'll say that for you.

- Will you?

- What do you think?

Why not? He's better

than anything you figured to get.

All right, I accept.

Okay, get out of that stuff and let's go.

- Frank, I want you to wait right here.

- Yes, sir.

Don't answer the telephone

and don't let anybody in. Understand?

- Yes, sir.

- Nobody.

- We'll be back in half an hour.

- All right.

Oh, what a chump.

Yeah?

Yeah, well, you better step on it

'cause he's getting ready to go out now.

Oh, how do you like that?

Fireproof, I imagine.

Come on, hurry up, will you?

Oh, I can't use that elevator, Mr. Brown.

- That is, not until after the ceremony.

Down?

- No, thanks.

- This way, Mr. Brown.

Hotel Windsor. Just a moment please.

- Mr. Casanova Brown.

- 622.

Must be a party.

- Very shrewd move.

- Not at all.

You would've done it yourself,

I'm sure, if it had occurred to you.

Hotel Windsor.

Just a moment please.

Look, Monica, I'm going to ask you

a very delicate question.

Sir?

Would you mind very much

if we took the baby along with us?

You don't think it'll look sort of peculiar?

Oh, I'll explain it to 'em.

- Sorry.

- That's quite all right.

It's so crowded.

Who does your mother think I am,

Frank Buck?

How can I bring him back alive

if he doesn't want to come?

Father.

He wrote you all about it,

which is more than I would have done,

so what else is there to discuss?

Truth of the matter is,

no man born of woman is really safe

as long as he can draw

one feeble, faltering breath.

Father, please.

- Get the bottle, I'll feed her in the cab.

- Check.

- 617.

- 618.

- 619.

- 620.

- 621.

- 622.

- Cas?

- Who?

Mr. Brown, Mr. Casanova Brown.

- Out.

- Where?

Walking!

What do you say we pull this conversation

down about three notches,

unless you're deaf.

- Where's the baby?

- She's out with him.

Then what are you doing with that bottle?

I just... I'm just trying it.

With a nipple, at your age?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

- We'll wait.

- Oh, naturally.

Where is Mrs. Drury?

Oh, she isn't here.

That much I'd worked out for myself.

Why isn't she here?

Doesn't she like to be in it, the finals?

Father, please.

Just to clear up

any possible misunderstanding,

my interest is in the baby. Not the father.

Still telling fortunes?

I beg your pardon.

Sagittarius, Jupiter, Pluto, all that rot.

Oh, no, no more of that.

- Sobered up, eh?

- Oh, she's quite settled down now.

She's in politics.

Nothing upsets a man

like a wife tearing around town

with straws in her hair.

Well, she lost faith when the baby came.

It was supposed to be a boy.

Yeah, they can't never tell.

That predetermination of sex

still baffles science.

It says so on

the Sunday magazine section.

Hadn't you better nip along

with that ice water for 1032?

What ice water?

1032 didn't call for no ice water.

Well, then, haven't you any

other duties to attend to?

I... I think I'm supposed to stay here

till he gets back.

- Back, from where?

- City Hall.

City Hall?

What on earth is he doing at City Hall?

Getting married.

Again?

Maybe I ain't supposed

to tell you that, though.

Is this the same fellow

that was marrying all the rest of them?

He's in a nuptial rut.

Is this some sort of joke?

Not by me, ma'am.

Who made bingo this time?

He married

a Miss Monica Case of Cicero, I believe.

It's one of them whirlwind romances.

He never made a move without consulting

you, is the way I believe you described it.

Thank you.

We want to get married.

Now, you take me.

I'm simply crazy about money.

Not just a little money. Lots of money.

All I can lay my hands on.

I like it.

But do you think for one second

that Mrs. Ferris understands

or appreciates this taste?

- Fun, isn't it?

- Yes.

Come in.

Could I ask you gentlemen to step

into the bedroom for a few minutes,

the maid would like to give this room

a little going over

before Mr. Brown gets back.

Well... Very well.

She won't be a minute.

- Anybody see you?

- No, they're in the bedroom.

- Hey, where are you going?

- The crib.

That's the hotel's.

What have I got in the bedroom?

Some laundry and those white kimonos.

- All right, try to get it if you can.

- I'll get them.

- Lf you can't...

- I'll get them.

Leave that gown and things here.

Then take the rest of this stuff

down the back elevator.

Make some kind of a bundle out of it,

and wait for me at the service entrance.

How long?

Look, I've got to feed this baby

before I do anything else.

She hasn't had a bite to eat in two hours.

All right, darling, look, Daddy's cooling

it off just as fast as he can.

Won't be long,

just as soon as she feeds and belches.

All right, darling. Daddy understands.

Really this has turned into such

a pleasant and charming afternoon.

I scarcely care when Cas gets back.

Would you like also

to learn pinochle? Here.

The maid would like

to straighten up, ma'am.

She's out there now,

by the window.

But I'm gonna telephone

the room and ask for her.

That will get her out of the way.

Okay, thanks.

All right, all right,

Daddy's doing the best he can.

After all, it's not Daddy's fault

if this doggone old nipple...

There see, Daddy fixed it.

Didn't Daddy tell you he'd fix it?

Daddy fixed bad old nipple.

- Is she all right?

- Why, of course she's all right.

Oh, Cas.

Oh, Cas, how she's grown!

- Not too much, you think?

- Oh, no, no, she's just perfect.

Oh, you blessed, blessed little angel.

Isn't she?

Don't touch her when she's feeding.

Makes her nervous.

She's very... Very high-strung.

- Not too high-strung, is she?

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