Cassanova Was a Woman Page #2

I'm not.

I'm not gonna rehash

this again.

Well, yeah we are. Yes, you are.

You're going to talk about this

until you realize

Oh my God!

There are other ways to torture

someone

that are much more

humane.

[therapist] What can't you do?

Live without him.

We're discussing this.

No.

We are discussing this,

and I'm saying it again,

in a therapist's office.

No more! Not here!

I'm not going to...

I've already told you, I am not

going anywhere, alright?

Peter, c'mon!

Please, just sit down and

listen.

No! You made your bed,

now lie in it.

How's the sex?

In a word--

horrible.

[therapist] Horrible?

Do you two communicate about

that?

Please,

communication has

never been a problem for us.

I told him a hundred times,

he never does anything new,

or anything I suggest.

For the past ten years,

we've been making love the

same-exact-way.

I've introduced food,

costumes,

toys, gadgets,

different places, different

positions,

hands, tongue, mouth.

He's introduced

his penis.

Was it ever any good?

[Cassanova] Well...

I guess when we first started

dating,

yeah it was hot and

heavy, but....

he was never really

physically my type.

What's your type?

Okay,

you know The Rock,

Dwayne Johnson?

That's my type.

Peter?

Not The Rock.

I like tall; he's my height.

I like dark; he's light.

I like strong and muscular; he

had a potbelly by the age of 30.

It sucks.

Why do you think you stay?

Because I did--

I do really love him.

Despite all the sexual mishaps,

I--

he was the only man

who really understood me.

We were so

emotionally and intellectually

compatible.

He got me. You know what I mean?

I do know what you mean.

I think we're gonna need to

continue this

at your next

session.

Sounds good.

Vacation, huh?

Yes.

Sure. Have fun.

How much did that

director love you?

No, he thinks you are great too.

Besides, I'm married.

But he's not.

That's his problem.

What about you, Lola?

Are you married or with someone?

Well, I broke up with someone

recently.

Yeah, Sam and I were together

for about four years.

We lived together and we split

up

a couple of months ago.

Wow, so recently.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine, but it was

rough.

I miss him.

Of course, of course.

You were practically married.

He was your husband.

No. Lovers.

Oh. Okay.

Anyway, he was a douche,

he would drop me

every time I got into a play.

Are you serious? But, you are an

actress.

What'd he expect you to do?

- Quit acting.

So, what did you do?

- Kept acting.

Good girl.

Listen, I uh,

I'd love to talk to you some

more, but

I gotta go.

Okay, I guess, see you tomorrow?

See you tomorrow.

See ya.

Richard, I'm dying.

Girl, you are always dying.

No, Rich, I'm serious.

I'm completely obsessed.

I never felt this way about

anyone

in my seventeen

relationships.

You know, I knew her

the minute I met her.

She's different.

She's it.

It? Honey, she's straight.

I know, but there's something

about her.

I mean, she seems

to be attractive,

but she's not even aware.

She has got to be aware, honey!

Why do you wanna be

treading in that unchartered

wilderness for anyway?

Stick with the village.

What you know!

What about Sara?

She's bi and Lord knows, she's

beautiful.

Yeah, she's beautiful, but

she doesn't have "it".

You know this, this Cassanova

she has it all.

She's so smart and talented.

Oh!

You know she works for morning

radio.

Oh no, I was listening to her

today,

she was so great.

She was funny and--

- Straight.

warm--

- Straight!

And, so beautiful.

- Still straight!

Would you shut up with that.

What the hell are you gonna do

with a straight woman

besides go shopping?

Oh, I can do plenty if she'd let

me.

Oh my God, there she is!

There she is!

How's my hair?

Nighmare on Elm street, right?

Oh my God.

Alright, my make up?

My make up?

My basic face?

What about my lips?

Get my lipstick!

Damn, L.

You would think you'd be

meeting Shakira or somebody.

Oh God. Damn!

It's the wrong shade.

Can you give me yours?

You know I don't carry that sh*t

with me.

It stays at Lucky Chang's.

I only wear that stuff for my

act.

Now calm down.

You look gorgeous.

If you just fluff up your hair a

little bit,

you got any hairspray

in that trunk of yours?

I forgot the hairspray.

This is the worst.

Honey, this is not the worst.

Mamma here will tell you

about some worst times.

Now, calm down.

Hey Lola! What's up?

I'm starving, can I join you?

Sure, sure.

Cassanova, this is Richard.

Richard, this is Cassanova.

Hi! Pleasure meeting you.

Pleasure to meet you, Cassanova.

I'm starving.

Okay so what were you guys

talking about?

[Cassanova narrating] So for the

next two weeks, we rehearsed.

We were only one of the

one acts in the festival

but, we were the best one.

Lola and I grew very close.

It was really somewhat kismet.

I felt like, I knew her for

centuries.

The fun was non-stop.

Even though, Peter and I

kept arguing.

She kept listening.

She was kind, supportive, wise

and well, fun.

So much fun.

[soft piano music]

[music continues]

[Cassanova] Then, opening night

came.

We hadn't done a line drill,

so we decided to meet

at the coffee shop

to go over our lines

before call.

I can't believe it's opening

night already.

We've only rehearsed for two

weeks. I can't wait.

Yeah, me neither.

Hey listen Cass, I got to tell

you something--

- Hello, ladies!

Can I get you something to

drink?

No, I'll just um,

I'll just have a cup of coffee.

And I will have a diet coke.

Sure thing. Coming right up.

He's cute.

Yeah, yeah. He's cute.

Listen, Cass,

uh, I got to tell you something.

It's kinda personal.

I got to tell you before Sara

gets here.

- Sure, sure hon,

you know you can tell me

anything.

Are your parents okay?

Yeah, they're fine.

It's just that um...

I should've told you this

a couple of weeks ago,

in the beginning.

[phone rings]

One second.

Hold that thought. Sara?

Yeah, I have a pair.

Only one?

Sure.

Bye, bye.

It was Sara.

She wanted to know if I had

an extra pair of lace gloves

for the Madonna scene.

Yeah, that's nice. That's nice.

That's nice?

Jeez, Lola, what's going on?

Here you go, ladies.

Thank you.

-Enjoy your coffee.

I will.

Cass--

Lola, check this out.

This guy gave me his number.

Call me sometime so I can

give you some "real" service.

I can't believe this

I get more action married

than when I was single.

Cass

Can I call you Cass?

Only my really good friends call

me Cass.

you know, so...

Cass, I'm bisexual and

Sam is really Samantha.

[Cassanova narrating] Okay,

right now you should be seeing

a light bulb over my head!

You see it?!

Okay, maybe you don't.

But it's there!

Don't ask me right now why

because,

I don't know.

But for a split second,

there was a flash.

And?

"And"?

I just told you that I was into

women also

and that I lied to you about

Samantha who I've been in a

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