Casting Couch

Synopsis: Desperate to meet new girls, six libidinous down-on-their-luck guys come up with the ultimate plan to hook up - cast a fake movie. When tons of hot chicks show up for the audition (and a few guys), it's a matter of who's willing to go the farthest to get the part. Packed with enough crude humor and sexy girls for a dozen movies, "The Bloody Slumber Party" is a hilarious scam that's about to get real.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jason Lockhart
Production: Angry Leo
  4 wins & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.6
UNRATED
Year:
2013
94 min
Website
1,717 Views


[rumbling]

- HI, I'M LINDSAY GRIFFIN.

- I'M CHELSEA MORGAN.

- KRISTIN FOX.

- TAYLOR HAWKINS.

- I'M KIMMY.

- ALEX TAYLOR.

- HI.

- DALLAS MITCHELL READING

FOR THE ROLE OF BROOKE.

- I'M JUSTIN,

BUT SOME PEOPLE:

CALL ME BRILLIANT.

- AMERICA

- AND FOR THOSE OF YOU

THAT DON'T YET,

YOU WILL.

- BE ANYONE,

TELL NO ONE:

GET LAID:

- TODAY'S THE DAY

THAT I OFFICIALLY REALIZED

THAT MY LIFE SUCKS.

YES, I'M HUNG OVER.

YES, LAST NIGHT WAS MY BIRTHDAY.

AND YES, I WOKE UP ALONE AGAIN.

WELL, NOT TOTALLY ALONE.

COME SAY HI, NEWT.

- UH, HI.

- AND RIGHT NOW, I SHOULD BE

GOING ON MY NEXT AUDITION.

BUT I'M NOT GOING TO.

GO AHEAD, NEWT.

ASK ME WHY.

- WHY?

- BECAUSE I WON'T GET THE PART.

I NEVER GET THE PART.

AND HONESTLY,

I REALLY DON'T WANT THE PAR

IN THIS SHITTY, LOW-BUDGE INDEPENDENT MOVIE

WITH A BUNCH OF SHITTY

F***ING WANNABE ACTORS.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY WANT?

GO AHEAD, NEWT.

ASK ME.

- WHAT DO YOU

REALLY WANT, JUSTIN?

- TO GET LAID

BY A RIDICULOUSLY HOT CHICK.

- I HAVE NO IDEA

WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.

HE WANTS TO SHOO SOME KIND OF DOCUMENTARY.

BUT HE OFFERED ME TEN BUCKS

AND A CHIPOTLE BURRITO

FOR EVERY DAY I FOLLOW HIM

AROUND WITH MY CAMERA.

- WHAT, DON'T AC LIKE YOU'RE ALL COOL.

YOU'RE UNEMPLOYED.

- THIS IS TRUE.

[dubious guitar chords]

- PROBLEM IS, TYPE OF GIRLS

THAT I WANT TO BANG

DON'T WANT TO BANG ME.

THESE HOLLYWOOD HOTTIES

WANT A GUY WITH POWER.

THEY WANT SOMEONE

WHO CAN CHANGE THEIR LIFE.

AND BY LIFE, I MEAN CAREER.

THE PERFECT HANGOVER CURE.

[angelic choral singing]

THIS DOCUMENTARY IS

ABOUT A GROUP OF DUDES

WHO HOLD A FAKE CASTING SESSION

FOR A FAKE MOVIE

SO THAT WE CAN GET LAID

FOR REAL.

COME ON, NEWT.

LET'S GO GET CHASE.

[music playing]

HEY, ROOMIE.

- GET OUT.

- HE'S LIKE A KITTEN

IN THE MORNING.

I NEED YOU GET OVER JORDAN, MAN.

- I'M OVER HER.

- WELL, IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT.

- IT'S REALLY OVER THIS TIME.

- MY ROOMMATE?

MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM.

CHASE LOCKWOOD?

HE'S A MAJOR STAR IN CHINA

AND INDIA:

FOR SOME "B" HORROR ALIEN FILM

HE DID.

HE MIGHT EVEN BE A BIGGER STAR

IN WEST HOLLYWOOD

FOR STARRING:

IN WHAT I LIKE TO CALL

THE BISEXUAL PARODY

OF TWILIGHT.

HE WAS THE "EDWARD."

THAT'S WHAT YOU ALWAYS SAY, BRO.

PEOPLE THAT BREAK UP 17 TIMES

ARE NOT MEANT TO BE TOGETHER.

- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- UNDERSTAND WHAT?

- SHE WAS THE BEST SEX EVER.

- YOU KNOW, IT DID SOUND

PRETTY GOOD.

[knocks lightly]

PAPER-THIN.

NOW, CHASE'S EX-GIRLFRIEND,

JORDAN HOLLIDAY,

SHE'S A SMOKING-HOT CHICK.

BUT I'M SURE YOU KNOW THAT,

SEEING AS SHE IS

A HUGE MOVIE STAR.

- SHE'S SO HOT

SO I'MA TAKE HER HOME

TO MAKE:

- BUT SHE'S THE BIGGEST B*TCH

WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI.

THINK HER EXACT WORDS WERE...

- "I NEED A MAN, NOT A BOY."

- LOVE MY ROOMMATE.

LOVE LIVING IN HIS CONDO.

BUT HE'S TOTALLY

ONE OF THOSE ACTORS.

AND WE'RE STATING

HE'S A MODEL TOO--

NOT FOR ANYTHING GOOD.

[chuckles]

IN FACT, HE MAY BE THE VAINES PERSON IN LOS ANGELES,

COMPLETE WITH:

A ZOOLANDER COMPLEX.

- SHE'S SO HOT

SO I'MA TAKE HER HOME

TO MAKE:

- IN FACT, IF YOU ASK HIM,

HE'LL TELL YOU

HE INVENTED ZOOLANDER.

- DO I HAVE A ZOOLANDER COMPLEX?

[scoffs]

NO.

BUT I DID COME UP

WITH THE IDEA.

- [chuckling]

- SO I WAS SITTING

IN A STARBUCKS,

AND I WAS TELLING THIS CHICK

THE IDEA,

AND I WAS PROBABLY TALKING

REALLY LOUD, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE I WAS EXCITED.

AND I LOOKED OVER,

AND THERE'S F***ING BEN STILLER

STANDING THERE,

LISTENING TO ME WHILE HE WAITED

FOR HIS COFFEE.

- AND WHAT WAS

BEN STILLER DRINKING?

- AND THEN HE WALKED OU WITH HIS FRAPPUCCINO.

- BUT MY ROOMMATE'S GONNA BE A

VERY VALUABLE ASSET TO THE PLAN.

IF I'M GONNA CAS A FAKE MOVIE,

I'M GONNA NEED A SOMEWHA RECOGNIZABLE ACTOR ATTACHED.

AT LEAST HE HAS CREDITS.

[drum cadence]

I NEED YOU, MAN.

- I NEED GOOD SEX.

- EXACTLY.

I'LL HELP YOU.

NOT BY PLAYING:

WITH YOUR PECKER.

- [sighs]

YOU'RE GONNA GET ME JORDAN BACK.

- NO.

I'LL GET YOU SOMEONE HOTTER.

- [scoffs]

NOT POSSIBLE.

- OKAY, SOMEONE EQUALLY AS HOT.

ANOTHER ACTRESS.

YOU COULD MAKE HER JEALOUS.

- I'M LISTENING.

- EVERY AUDITION I GO TO,

THERE'S A LINE OF GIRLS

OUT THE DOOR.

AND THEN WHEN YOU GET INSIDE,

IT'S A BUNCH OF DOUCHE BAGS

HOLDING THE AUDITIONS.

- SO JUSTIN TELLS ME

HE HAS A PLAN.

- THESE GUYS AREN'T EVEN COOL.

THEY DO HAVE THE ATTENTION

OF OVER 100 SMOKING-HOT CHICKS.

- JUSTIN'S A NICE GUY.

HE'S GOT A KIND FACE.

HE'S INSTANTLY LIKEABLE.

BUT IF I HAD TO DESCRIBE HIM

IN A PHRASE,

HE'S ULTRA MEDIUM.

- I MEAN,

I'M A GOOD-LOOKING GUY.

- HE'S NOT GOOD-LOOKING,

BUT HE'S NOT BAD, I GUESS.

- I'M HILARIOUS.

- HE'S NOT FUNNY,

BUT HE'S NOT NOT FUNNY.

- I'VE GOT A JOB.

- HIS JOB SUCKS ASS.

[chuckles]

BUT AT LEAST HE'S GOT ONE.

- SO WHY CAN'T I HAVE

ONE OF THESE GIRLS?

- OH, JUSTIN, OKAY.

I'LL PLAY ALONG

WITH YOUR LITTLE GAME.

- SO CHASE IS IN.

HIM AND I ARE GONNA BE THE LEADS

IN THIS FAKE MOVIE.

BUT NOW WE NEED A CREW.

TIME TO ASSEMBLE THE TEAM

OCEAN'S ELEVEN STYLE.

- I LOVE HOW JUSTIN MAKES

AN OCEAN'S ELEVEN REFERENCE.

HE TOTALLY VIEWS HIMSELF

LIKE GEORGE CLOONEY.

WELL, NEWS FLASH, J BONE.

YOU'RE NO CLOONEY.

[chuckles]

BUT I COULD SEE:

HOW HE'D THINK

I'D BE THE BRAD PITT.

[camera shutter clicks]

[upbeat pop punk music]

- WE'RE LIVING HERE

IN HOLLYWOOD:

UNDER THE SKIES OF BLUE

- THESE GUYS:

ALSO BRILLIANT.

- WHAT'S UP, BIOTCHES?

WHAT'S UP WITH THE CAMERA?

- TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY

OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

- HELL YEAH, IT IS!

ROSS, WE GOT COMPANY.

- AND A CAMERA?

- AND A CAMERA.

- WHAT'S UP, FELLAS?

- YO.

- HEY, BUDDY.

- SO APPARENTLY,

OUR LIVES ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE.

- OKAY.

- GET THIS.

I WANT TO HOLD A FAKE AUDITION

FOR A FAKE MOVIE

SO THAT WE CAN MEET AND CAS A LOT OF HOT B*TCHES.

- I F***ING LOVE IT.

- I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL

ABOUT IT.

- THAT'S BECAUSE YOU THINK

WITH YOUR HEAD TOO MUCH, MAN.

USE YOUR COCK AND BALLS

LIKE THE REST OF US.

- THAT'S WHERE YOU GUYS

WOULD COME IN.

YOU'D BE THE WRITERS.

- OF THE FAKE MOVIE?

- EXACTLY.

- GENIUS!

- I KNOW, RIGHT?

- SO YOU WANT US TO WRITE

A FAKE SCRIPT?

- WELL, NOT AN ENTIRE SCRIPT.

I DON'T NEED A WHOLE SCREENPLAY,

JUST AN IDEA:

AND THEN A FEW SCENES

WE CAN USE:

DURING A CASTING SESSION.

ROSS AND AUSTIN,

ALSO KNOWN AS ROSTIN,

JUST GOT DONE WRITING A BOMB-ASS

VAMPIRE WEB SERIES.

THESE GUYS WRITE HOT GIRL PARTS

BETTER THAN ANYONE

I'VE EVER KNOWN.

- YOU DON'T KNOW

ANY OTHER WRITERS, DO YOU?

- NOT AS GOOD AS ROSTIN.

- AW, THANKS, BROSKI.

- ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S I SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT?

- IT'S UP TO YOU.

WHATEVER YOU WANT.

YOU'RE ESSENTIALLY THE BRAINS

BEHIND THIS FAKE PROJECT.

IT JUST NEEDS TO STAR

A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS,

LIKE, FOUR OR FIVE,

BASICALLY ONE FOR EACH OF US.

AND THEY SHOULD BE DESCRIBED

IN DETAIL:

TO LOOK LIKE THE GIRLS

OF OUR DREAMS.

- DO WE GET AN IMDB CREDI FOR WRITING A FAKE MOVIE?

- THIS IS F***ING PHENOMENAL.

EACH ONE OF US WILL,

IN GREAT DETAIL,

WRITE OUT AN AUDITION NOTICE

FOR OUR "PERFECT GIRL."

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Jason Lockhart

All Jason Lockhart scripts | Jason Lockhart Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Casting Couch" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/casting_couch_5171>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Casting Couch

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    What does "INT." stand for in a screenplay?
    A Internet
    B Internal
    C Introduction
    D Interior