Catch-22 Page #8

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- Help who?

- Help the bombardier!

- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.

- Then help him. Help him!

I'm cold.

I'm cold. God.

It's gonna be OK, kid.

We'll be home soon.

- Does the leg still hurt?

- No.

There, there.

There, there.

There, there.

- May we come in?

- Sure.

I see you're all alone.

Well, you're going home.

- I don't know if I am.

- I've got your orders right here.

That parade they're rehearsing

is for you. You're a hero.

You're gonna get a medal for

stopping that Nazi killing Cathcart.

That wasn't a Nazi.

That was Nately's whore.

She tried to kill me

because I told her about Nately.

- But the Colonel said that...

- It's a deal I made with them.

They send me home a hero

and I say wonderful things

about them back in the States.

That's a lousy deal, isn't it?

- Isn't it?

- Well...

Isn't it?

I don't know,

I'm not here to judge you.

What are you here for?

I'm not too sure about that either.

What would you do if you were me?

I don't know. I mean, I'm not you.

Imagine that you are me.

That's hard. Sometimes I even have

trouble imagining that I'm me,

if you know what I mean.

I'm gonna call the deal off.

Let them send me home

cos I've flown over 50 missions.

Then they'd have

to send home every man.

- That's their problem.

- It's your problem.

- They'll court-martial you.

- Make the best of a bad situation.

- No.

- No what?

I've been lying in this bed

for three weeks thinking about it

and all I know is

I don't want to go to prison

and I can't play Cathcart's game.

- What else can you do?

- I can run away.

You'll desert? How would you

get off the base? That's insane.

That's why

it's the only sensible thing to do.

They'll call you a coward.

It's your country.

I've flown 55 missions

and I've fought for three years,

now I'll fight for myself.

- Suppose everyone felt that way?

- I'd be a fool to feel different.

What would your friends say?

I haven't got any.

Nately was blown to bits,

McWatt killed himself,

Hungry Joe was chopped in two,

Dobbs disappeared,

Aardvark's a murderer,

Doc Daneeka's a zombie.

They're all gone.

The only friend I had was Snowden

and I didn't even know him.

What about Orr?

- Orr's at the bottom of the sea.

- No, he isn't. Don't you know?

- Know what?

- Orr's in Sweden.

What?

After 16 weeks at sea, Orr was found

by a trio of Swedish girl scouts.

- A miracle.

- He rowed all the way.

- He rowed?

- In that tiny little raft.

Think of that, all the way to Sweden!

- He'll sit out the rest of the war.

- It's a miracle!

It's no miracle.

He has to have planned it.

- He went to Sweden deliberately?

- It's 3 or 4 thousand miles away!

He always said that

crash-landing was good practice.

- Getting shot down in the sea.

- On every mission that he flew!

That is a miracle.

Practising

getting shot down in the sea!

He made it?

He made it?

He made it!

That son of a b*tch made it!

- Are you crazy? Is he crazy?

- If he made it, so can I!

- We gotta stop him.

- I can do it, Danby!

- They'll catch you!

- I can do it.

- This is insane!

- What about your clothes?

They won't recognise me

out of uniform.

You'll be on the run,

in constant danger of betrayal!

I live that way now.

- For God's sake, hurry up!

- So long, Chaplain.

- How do you feel, Yossarian?

- Fine, except I'm scared to death.

- You'll have to keep on your toes.

- I'll keep on my toes.

- You'll have to jump.

- I'll jump.

Jump!

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