Catch-22 Page #7

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Shoddy work will not do.

What are you doing, Yossarian?

Get off the field!

I'll see you later. You're confined

to the base. I won't forget this.

The Air Force won't forget this.

Don't be ridiculous! What's good

for M&M is good for the Air Force.

- There goes the bomb dump!

- We had to get rid of that cotton.

The Germans

promised to take it off our hands

if we ran this mission for them.

- It's all part of the deal.

- There goes the Officers' Club!

You made a deal

to bomb our own base?

A contract is a contract.

That's what we're fighting for.

Lieutenant Minderbinder speaking.

Will you clear the field, please?

- We will soon begin to strafe.

- Strafe?

- It's all in the contract.

- There goes Headquarters!

- What's that?

- He said, "Nately".

- Nately is dead.

- I know.

- Who's dead?

- You're not.

You will be if we don't get at

that knife wound.

- What's happening?

- We're operating.

We're gonna take a look inside you.

We're gonna clean you out

and stitch you up.

We've got your pal.

You heard me.

We've got your pal.

Who's my pal?

- What's he saying?

- Something about his pal.

- Who's his pal?

- I don't know, maybe it's Nately.

Nately's dead.

I wouldn't go in there.

Looks like something's happened.

I gotta go find Nately's whore.

I gotta tell her he's dead.

Wanna come with me?

Not now. I promised her

some stockings and cigarettes.

For her family. I know them.

First-class people.

- I'll see you later.

- Sure.

Yes, we're going. Up to my room.

You better get off the streets soon.

It's almost curfew,

you don't have a pass.

- What happened?

- Gone. All gone.

- Who?

- All the poor young girls.

All gone. Taken away.

- Who took 'em away?

- The white-hats.

- The white-hats... The MPs?

- Yes, the MPs.

- Where did they take 'em?

- Who knows? All gone.

- Where's the old man?

- Gone.

- Gone where?

- Dead.

What?

He was alive one minute,

then he was dead.

- He can't be.

- Why not?

Where did they take the girls?

Did they arrest them?

I don't know.

They just came in and took them.

They must have had a reason.

They couldn't just drag them away.

No reason.

- What right did they have?

- Catch-22.

What? What did you say?

Catch-22.

How do you know it was Catch-22?

The girls said,

"Why are you taking us away?"

The men said, "Catch-22."

The girls said,

"What right do you have?"

The men said, "Catch-22."

All they kept saying was,

"Catch-22, Catch-22."

What does it mean?

Didn't they show it to you?

- They don't have to show it to us.

- Who says so?

- The law says so.

- What law?

Catch-22.

Milo, I'm gonna kill you,

you murdering son of a b*tch!

Don't hurt him. I know how you feel,

but it wasn't my fault.

- Who's fault was it?

- No one's.

Nately was the victim

of certain economic pressures,

- the laws of supply and demand.

- You unbelievable bastard!

- Do you want me to take you to her?

- Who?

Nately's whore.

Aren't you looking for her?

- Do you know where she is?

- Of course I do.

You're AWOL, Yossarian.

I thought you knew better than that.

- Nately wouldn't be that dumb.

- He's dead.

- It's too bad. He was nice.

- Your boys made a direct hit on him.

But he died a rich man. He had

over 60 shares in the Syndicate.

- He's dead.

- His family will get it.

- He didn't have one.

- Then his parents get it.

- They don't need it, they're rich.

- Then they'll understand.

Ask for number 33.

- I didn't know.

- That I work for Milo?

Everybody works for Milo.

He told me to ask for number 33.

Ten dollars, please.

No towel?

- Hello, Yossarian.

- Hi, kid.

- Where's your sister?

- In there.

- You give me a dollar?

- Yeah.

- We go to America soon?

- Sure, kid.

- You make love now?

- No, no. Listen...

- I have to tell you something.

- Nately?

- He's coming?

- No, not exactly.

- We go to America soon?

- Yeah. Listen...

- When we go?

- Listen...

Nately's dead.

It wasn't me!

It's not my fault!

He was my friend, you dumb b*tch!

- I only raped her once.

- You killed her.

I had to after I raped her.

She couldn't go round

saying bad things about me.

You dumb bastard, why didn't you get

some girl off the streets?

Not me.

I never paid for it in my life.

- Come on, get back!

- Back up, folks.

Aarfy, are you insane?

They're gonna throw you in jail.

You just killed a girl.

She's lying in the street!

She has no right to be there,

you know. It's after curfew.

Don't you realise what you've done?

You've murdered a human being!

They can hang you!

I don't think they'll do that,

not to good old Aarfy.

They won't care about one girl

when thousands die every day.

They're coming for you.

They're coming to arrest you.

You can't take the life of another

human being and get away with it!

They're coming to get you!

- You're under arrest.

- But I didn't...

You're AWOL.

- We're sending you home.

- What?

I said we're sending you home.

You have been making things terribly

difficult for Colonel Cathcart.

The men are unhappy, morale is

deteriorating. It's all your fault.

It's his,

for raising the number of missions.

- It's your fault for not flying.

- Have you no patriotism?

Wouldn't you give your life for your

country? For Colonel Korn and me?

What have you and Colonel Korn

got to do with my country?

You're a disgrace to your country!

How did you get to be a captain?

- You promoted me.

- That has got nothing to do with it!

Let me. Let me.

Captain, I'd like to appeal to

your better judgment one more time.

There's a mission about to start.

You can get on that plane,

and we'll pretend

that all of this never happened.

Won't it make you feel proud

to know you served in an outfit

that averaged more combat missions

than any other?

Don't you want more unit citations

and oak-leaf clusters

on your Air Medal?

Don't you want to contribute more to

the record by flying more missions?

In that case,

we'll just have to send you home.

Of course, there's one catch.

Yeah? What's that?

We will issue orders

sending you back to the States

and there's one thing

you have to do for us in return.

What would that be?

Like us.

Like you?

Like us.

You'll be surprised how easy it is

once you begin.

You see, we're going to put you

on Easy Street.

- Promote you to Major.

- Give you another medal.

- Send you home a hero.

- You'll have parades in your honour.

You can make speeches,

raise money for war bonds.

- All you have to do is be our pal.

- Say nice things about us.

Tell the folks at home

what a good job we're doing.

Take our offer.

It's either that

or a court-martial for desertion.

What about the others?

I'd be playing a dirty trick on them.

They'll be happier when you're gone.

They won't even think about you.

They have a war to win.

If they don't want to fly

any more missions, let them say so.

- Precisely.

- Exactly.

It's a deal.

Help! Help!

Help him!

- What?

- Help him! Help him!

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