Catch-22 Page #6

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I am anti-Fascist.

When the Germans were here,

I was fanatically pro-German.

Now I'm fanatically pro-America!

You'll find no more loyal partisan

in all of Italy than myself.

You're a shameful opportunist!

It's better to die on your feet

than to live on your knees.

You have it backwards.

It's better to live on your feet

than to die on your knees. I know.

- How do you know?

- Because I am 107 years old.

How old are you?

I'll be 20 in January.

If you live.

How are ya, how are ya?

We gotta go back.

All the leaves have been cancelled.

Hello, my dear.

You give me a dollar? I pay you back

when we get to America.

Just one... Just one.

One! Gimme that.

Come on, Dobbs.

Milo's gonna fly us back.

- Why are the leaves cancelled?

- I don't know.

Milo says the base is on

some kind of alert.

Cathcart raised

the number of missions to 80.

He's mad because Captain Orr

lost another airplane.

- Where?

- Ditched coming back from Bologna.

- Went down in the Mediterranean.

- Air-Sea Rescue out there?

They picked up everybody but Orr.

Will you fellas stay away

from the airstrip tonight?

- What for?

- Just do as I say.

- Stay in your tents.

- Why?

- There it is.

- What?

Orr's plane!

He'll find his way back.

He always does.

He'll turn up. He'll sneak in

with that rat-toothed giggle.

Aarfy, if anything happens to me,

will you take care of my girl?

- Listen to him, his girl!

- Don't worry.

Nothing's gonna happen to you

that won't happen to the rest of us.

- I'll be through in a minute.

- No, you won't. You always say that,

then I watch you fit some tiny thing

into that masterpiece of junk.

- Then I guess you haven't seen it.

- You guess I haven't seen what?

A little square gasket,

about this big. Have you seen it?

- I'll have to start all over again.

- Please don't do that.

- Why?

- It gives me a terrible pain.

- Why?

- Why what?

Why won't you fly with me?

What's that got to do with the pain

that you and your bolts give me?

It's got everything to do with it.

Are you trying to tell me something?

Just that if you were smart,

you'd fly with me.

- You've cracked up three planes.

- Four. I'm a good pilot.

- I don't want to end up in the sea.

- You'd thank me.

- For drowning me?

- For finishing this stove.

Winter's coming.

You'll have heat, hot water...

You'll be able to boil eggs

and everything.

- Me? Where are you gonna be?

- I dunno. Here and there.

No one wants to fly with you.

You're a one-man disaster area.

- They're crazy.

- I agree with them.

You're crazy.

- Orr?

- He's dead.

- Who's "he"?

- He's just a kid from my home town.

He just died. They came

from the States to see him.

- Get in the bed, will you?

- What?

His mother, father and brother flew

out here. They know he's dying.

- What do you want me to do?

- Be him.

Just for a few minutes,

then they'll go.

They came 5,000 miles

to see you before you die.

- I'm not dying!

- Of course you are. We all are.

They'll know.

They came to see their son.

They'll take what they can get.

One dying boy

is as good as another. Or as bad!

- It won't work.

- These people have come a long way.

I don't want to disappoint them.

I'm sentimental about old people.

- What if they start crying?

- They probably will start crying.

I'll wait outside and if it gets

sticky I'll come in and break it up.

It's not gonna work.

Do this for me

and I'll do something for you.

- Will you ground me?

- I can't.

You can fill out a slip saying I'm

on the verge of a nervous collapse.

Sure I can.

But there's a catch.

- Catch-22.

- Group won't approve my action.

They'll put you back on combat status

and send me to rot in the Pacific.

- My God, here they are.

- Start dying.

Do this for me and I'll send you

to Rome on a five-day R and R.

He looks terrible.

- He's sick, Pa.

- Harvey.

- My name is Yossarian.

- His name is Yossarian, Ma.

Yossarian, don't you recognise me?

I'm your brother John.

Don't you know who I am?

- Sure I do. You're my brother John.

- Pa, he knows me.

Yossarian, look, here's Papa.

Say hello to Papa.

- Hello, Papa.

- Hello, Harvey.

- His name is Yossarian, Pa.

- He looks so bad.

He's very sick.

The doctor says he's gonna die.

Ma, his name is Yossarian.

She doesn't remember things too good.

It's OK. She can call me Harvey

if she wants to.

Don't worry.

Everything's gonna be all right.

I know.

We came from New York. We were

afraid we wouldn't get here in time.

- In time for what?

- To see you before you died.

What difference would it make?

We didn't want you to die

by yourself.

What difference would it make?

He's getting delirious.

He keeps repeating the same thing.

It's not Harvey, it's Yossarian.

What difference does it make?

He's dying.

Listen, kid, it's not bad.

I'm gonna put a tourniquet on it.

There. It's good.

It's a good bandage.

Cold.

Cold. God.

It's gonna be OK, kid.

We'll be home soon.

Does the leg still hurt?

You in there?

- Is that Orr, you son of a b*tch?

- It's me, Nately.

Nately. What's happening?

Jesus, it's 3:
30 in the morning.

It's Dobbs, we've got to stop him.

He's gonna kill the Colonel.

Cathcart?

Dobbs is gonna kill Colonel Cathcart?

What's the matter with you?

Nothing. It's the first sane thing

I've ever done.

- They'll get you for murder!

- Old Cathcart's the murderer!

- Come on, gimme the gun!

- Take it easy.

- You just got a few more missions.

- You're crazy!

He'll raise the number again

and you know it!

He'll keep us flying missions

till we're all dead.

What do you care?

You don't wanna go home,

you're in love with that whore.

You're talking about my fiance.

The fiance any guy

with ten bucks in his pocket,

who's happy to risk a dose of disease

for 15 minutes of phoney moans

on a dirty mattress!

I think I hurt him.

He'll be all right.

Here he comes!

- Gimme the gun!

- No, listen!

If he raises the number again,

I swear I'll help you kill him!

- Really?

- I swear it.

That's very reasonable of you.

- Something's going on.

- What do you mean?

Milo and the Colonel

are up to something.

They've been planning something

up there.

- What's he doing?

- Something. I dunno.

Why didn't they turn their lights on?

What the f***...!

Yossarian, listen!

- What is this?

- Look!

Jesus Christ!

Run, run!

All right, Number 1 and 2,

that was good.

Thank you. What shall I do now?

Bank left and wait for instructions.

All right, Number 3.

Be careful not to hit our storehouses

at the end of the field.

Direct hit on the mess hall,

if you please. And Number 3...

Hold on, Number 3.

Yossarian, get off the field.

Take cover, Yossarian. You, too,

Dobbs. Right, Number 3, let 'em go.

Bastards! Get out of here!

Cut that out. Those are our

men you're shooting at. Take cover.

This is

an M&M Enterprises operation.

Number 4 and 5, Number 3 did not get

those supply sheds.

I told you men to come in low.

Let's get right on target this time.

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