Catch and Release Page #4

I know who she is. I didn't ask who she is.

I asked what she's doing here.

- Boiling water.

- Wait, you know who this is?

There's no hot water at the Silver Saddle?

Not boiling, and I need boiling water

for my herbal tea.

Because I have to realign my chi.

Stop it! Stop it!

The water's ready.

What are you looking at? We're just talking.

What's going on here?

Am I missing something?

- You're not the cleaning lady?

- Cleaning lady?

What'd you come for?

I just told you, I'm

making tea.

Because the money's his.

One quick DNA swab and he gets it all.

What are you talking about? What money?

What the H-E-double L is she talking about?

I'm going out. When I come back,

it would be great if she weren't here.

That was awkward.

Here, take this.

I'm not a charity case.

No, keep it. Call it a loan.

I know you're good for it.

I didn't even know he was rich, okay?

All I knew is that he wanted to

support his kid and that's why I came.

To just make sure that

that was going to happen,

not to, you know,

run off with all his money or

upset his girlfriend.

It's "fiance."

I didn't even know about her.

I mean, I figured, you know,

that there was someone.

But he never said he was engaged.

You know, it makes sense, though,

her being like that.

Like what?

Kind of perfect.

Because when I saw him, he was always

like this kid on vacation, you know.

Kind of goofy, like he was just excited

not to have to be on his best behavior.

I got it.

- Thank you.

- Okay.

I'll talk to you.

Okay.

I just want you to know, I am back.

Like, in a big way.

Just 1000/0 committed.

2000/0, really, committed

to this company and from now on,

every second of every day

I'm just going to be thinking

and just dreaming and just flat-out being

herbal tea.

Oh, 1000/0, 2000/0...

In Boulder. Number of a Silver Saddle Motel.

Oh, my God, this is my favorite.

"Be bold, be bold, everywhere be bold."

Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

I wrote that, man!

- What's mung beans?

- Well, you know, I didn't really write it.

Spenser wrote it. But I filled out

the paperwork that put it on the box.

Hi.

Gray, what are... You're home early.

Yeah, okay, well...

So, you know the other night?

I noticed that this refrigerator...

Do you know everything in here

is a chi blocker?

And that's exactly what I'm studying

is Chinese medicine.

And, you know,

the first thing we're learning is that

you can't, like, emotionally process things

if your chi is congested.

It's like a kind of cerebral constipation.

Sorry.

Anyway, I just... So...

Here!

You see?

It's working!

Your color is, like,

coming back in your cheeks and...

Do you see, like, the aura?

It was, like, a dusty... Now it's...

So, tonight, I'm going to make

the most cleansing dinner

and I would love if you would join us.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Why, thank you, sir.

- Go ahead, Mattie.

- Dinner is served!

Oh, right on, man! Fancy shmancy!

It's beautiful out here.

It's like a little fairy paradise.

- Did you make this in there?

- Yes.

All right!

- She's feeding us lawn.

- Dude, shut up.

- Look at this.

- Little pitchers have big ears.

You know, radishes are a blood detoxifier.

I got your Happy Meal.

The loaf is made

with tempeh and bean paste.

Okay.

Oh, and I added cheese curds.

That wasn't in the recipe.

You are going to be so regular tomorrow,

you're not going to believe it.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Namaste.

No.

I steal library books.

On purpose.

I have them from every town

I've ever lived in. I can't control it.

Grady never knew that about me.

- Maureen?

- That has wheatgrass in it.

Also, I can put my whole fist in my mouth.

You don't want to see it,

it's a little Traci Lords,

but I never told him that, either,

in six years.

Also,

I love natural disasters!

I want people to die in them.

I'm genuinely disappointed

when the death toll is low.

And also, I made it with a girl once.

And do you know what else?

You know what Grady never knew about me

is that I think catch and release fishermen

are heartless weenies.

I think putting a fish through agony

for nothing more than

your own entertainment is just plain cruel.

I think if you're going to torture

a living thing...

If you're going to make it

look into the eyes of its maker,

face its own puny little place

in the universe,

then, for God's sake,

have the decency to eat it!

This is excellent, Maureen.

I mean, I feel better.

Thanks.

Good.

So,

were you, like, the b*tch

or the butch?

You know what? Give me that.

Give me it, you little sniper.

This is not a toy. Okay? This is a weapon.

Weapons are toys.

Weapons are...

You need a hobby, kid.

In a big, bad way, and I mean now.

You need like a bike or some comic books,

maybe a fishing rod. Definitely a fishing rod.

Your dad was an awesome fisherman.

My dad was a superhero.

He also fished.

That's a lot of dust.

Wait, not too far!

But, Maureen, look!

Oh, this is beautiful!

Smile.

Now, if you give a man a fish,

he will have a single meal,

but if you teach a man to fish,

he will eat his whole life.

You know what that is?

Kuan Tzu I just rocked you with.

Ancient Chinese philosopher.

Quote from the Lemon Zinger

Green Tea box, you might remember.

I can tell by your face, no.

You know what? Doesn't matter.

Fly-fishing.

A lot of people seem to feel that

the key piece of equipment is the rod,

but I disagree, sir.

I've always felt

all the magic is in the hat.

And this hat is yours.

It belonged to your dad.

Very cool.

...which is ironic

because that chick had a pretty big-ass...

Whoa, hold on. I think we might...

Maybe we're on a log.

We're not! We're not on a log, kid.

There's something alive here!

Oh, my God, we got a fish! We're getting a...

Dennis! We're getting a...

Look, I'm going to level with you, kid.

I've never caught anything in my life.

I've been faking it. One time I lied

and I bought a fish at a store

but this is the first time

I have ever caught a fish

and you're going to help me reel it in!

Grab the rod.

Come on, we're going to bring him in!

Oh, my. This is what God feels like

when he catches a fish!

Come on! Come on, you son of a...

Bring him in! Reel him in. Pull!

Pull!

Dig it! Dig it! Now bring him in!

Bring him in! Yes!

Yes! Yes!

Man versus fish. What...

That's kind of... You know what?

He's a little sleepy. Come on, Mattie.

Let's head over this way.

Look out, it's a heartless fisherman.

Someone call PETA.

You know,

fish have brains the size of pebbles.

They don't even remember pain.

You keep telling yourself that.

It's the truth.

Okay, fine. Just don't lead with it

on a date. It makes you sound cold.

Hey, who are you dating these days?

Nobody.

What about that girl from that place

who liked you? You know, with the hair.

- Persephone?

- Yeah.

- You should ask her out.

- Yeah, I don't know.

I guess I'm not exactly available.

What do you mean?

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