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Catch and Release Page #4
I know who she is. I didn't ask who she is.
I asked what she's doing here.
- Boiling water.
- Wait, you know who this is?
There's no hot water at the Silver Saddle?
Not boiling, and I need boiling water
for my herbal tea.
Because I have to realign my chi.
Stop it! Stop it!
The water's ready.
What are you looking at? We're just talking.
What's going on here?
Am I missing something?
- You're not the cleaning lady?
- Cleaning lady?
What'd you come for?
I just told you, I'm
making tea.
Because the money's his.
One quick DNA swab and he gets it all.
What are you talking about? What money?
What the H-E-double L is she talking about?
I'm going out. When I come back,
it would be great if she weren't here.
That was awkward.
Here, take this.
I'm not a charity case.
No, keep it. Call it a loan.
I know you're good for it.
I didn't even know he was rich, okay?
All I knew is that he wanted to
support his kid and that's why I came.
To just make sure that
that was going to happen,
not to, you know,
run off with all his money or
upset his girlfriend.
It's "fiance."
I didn't even know about her.
I mean, I figured, you know,
that there was someone.
But he never said he was engaged.
You know, it makes sense, though,
her being like that.
Like what?
Kind of perfect.
Because when I saw him, he was always
like this kid on vacation, you know.
Kind of goofy, like he was just excited
not to have to be on his best behavior.
I got it.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
I'll talk to you.
Okay.
I just want you to know, I am back.
Like, in a big way.
Just 1000/0 committed.
2000/0, really, committed
to this company and from now on,
I'm just going to be thinking
and just dreaming and just flat-out being
herbal tea.
Oh, 1000/0, 2000/0...
In Boulder. Number of a Silver Saddle Motel.
Oh, my God, this is my favorite.
"Be bold, be bold, everywhere be bold."
Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
I wrote that, man!
- What's mung beans?
- Well, you know, I didn't really write it.
Spenser wrote it. But I filled out
the paperwork that put it on the box.
Hi.
Gray, what are... You're home early.
Yeah, okay, well...
So, you know the other night?
I noticed that this refrigerator...
Do you know everything in here
is a chi blocker?
And that's exactly what I'm studying
is Chinese medicine.
And, you know,
the first thing we're learning is that
you can't, like, emotionally process things
if your chi is congested.
It's like a kind of cerebral constipation.
Sorry.
Anyway, I just... So...
Here!
You see?
It's working!
Your color is, like,
coming back in your cheeks and...
Do you see, like, the aura?
It was, like, a dusty... Now it's...
So, tonight, I'm going to make
the most cleansing dinner
and I would love if you would join us.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Why, thank you, sir.
- Go ahead, Mattie.
- Dinner is served!
Oh, right on, man! Fancy shmancy!
It's beautiful out here.
It's like a little fairy paradise.
- Did you make this in there?
- Yes.
All right!
- She's feeding us lawn.
- Dude, shut up.
- Look at this.
- Little pitchers have big ears.
You know, radishes are a blood detoxifier.
I got your Happy Meal.
The loaf is made
with tempeh and bean paste.
Okay.
That wasn't in the recipe.
You are going to be so regular tomorrow,
you're not going to believe it.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Namaste.
No.
On purpose.
I have them from every town
I've ever lived in. I can't control it.
Grady never knew that about me.
- Maureen?
- That has wheatgrass in it.
Also, I can put my whole fist in my mouth.
You don't want to see it,
but I never told him that, either,
in six years.
Also,
I love natural disasters!
I want people to die in them.
I'm genuinely disappointed
when the death toll is low.
And also, I made it with a girl once.
And do you know what else?
You know what Grady never knew about me
is that I think catch and release fishermen
are heartless weenies.
I think putting a fish through agony
for nothing more than
your own entertainment is just plain cruel.
I think if you're going to torture
a living thing...
If you're going to make it
look into the eyes of its maker,
face its own puny little place
in the universe,
then, for God's sake,
have the decency to eat it!
This is excellent, Maureen.
I mean, I feel better.
Thanks.
Good.
So,
were you, like, the b*tch
or the butch?
You know what? Give me that.
Give me it, you little sniper.
This is not a toy. Okay? This is a weapon.
Weapons are toys.
Weapons are...
You need a hobby, kid.
In a big, bad way, and I mean now.
You need like a bike or some comic books,
maybe a fishing rod. Definitely a fishing rod.
Your dad was an awesome fisherman.
My dad was a superhero.
He also fished.
That's a lot of dust.
Wait, not too far!
But, Maureen, look!
Oh, this is beautiful!
Smile.
Now, if you give a man a fish,
he will have a single meal,
but if you teach a man to fish,
he will eat his whole life.
You know what that is?
Kuan Tzu I just rocked you with.
Ancient Chinese philosopher.
Quote from the Lemon Zinger
Green Tea box, you might remember.
I can tell by your face, no.
You know what? Doesn't matter.
Fly-fishing.
A lot of people seem to feel that
the key piece of equipment is the rod,
but I disagree, sir.
I've always felt
all the magic is in the hat.
And this hat is yours.
It belonged to your dad.
Very cool.
...which is ironic
because that chick had a pretty big-ass...
Whoa, hold on. I think we might...
Maybe we're on a log.
We're not! We're not on a log, kid.
Oh, my God, we got a fish! We're getting a...
Dennis! We're getting a...
Look, I'm going to level with you, kid.
I've never caught anything in my life.
I've been faking it. One time I lied
and I bought a fish at a store
but this is the first time
I have ever caught a fish
and you're going to help me reel it in!
Grab the rod.
Come on, we're going to bring him in!
Oh, my. This is what God feels like
when he catches a fish!
Come on! Come on, you son of a...
Bring him in! Reel him in. Pull!
Pull!
Dig it! Dig it! Now bring him in!
Bring him in! Yes!
Yes! Yes!
Man versus fish. What...
That's kind of... You know what?
He's a little sleepy. Come on, Mattie.
Let's head over this way.
Look out, it's a heartless fisherman.
Someone call PETA.
You know,
fish have brains the size of pebbles.
They don't even remember pain.
You keep telling yourself that.
It's the truth.
Okay, fine. Just don't lead with it
on a date. It makes you sound cold.
Hey, who are you dating these days?
Nobody.
What about that girl from that place
who liked you? You know, with the hair.
- Persephone?
- Yeah.
- You should ask her out.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I'm not exactly available.
What do you mean?
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"Catch and Release" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/catch_and_release_5195>.
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