Catching Feelings Page #8

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I don't like your tone.

You're supposed to be my friend

and now you're judgey.

I'll tell you why I soundjudgmental,

because just over two months ago

I was best man at your wedding.

And now I find myself mid-cheek. So...

- Yeah.

- If you remember that wedding,

I promised my wife

that I would make her happy for eternity.

- You call my wife right now.

- No.

Ask her if she's happy.

She will tell you she's happy.

That's all that really matters.

- I'll take your word for it.

- We're happy.

We cook together. We travel together.

We have sex every day.

- The other day we had a threesome.

- Okay.

A mnage trois.

Are you telling me

that Tracy is fine with you cheating?

I'm saying Tracy is happy

with a husband who makes her happy.

- Happy is the key word here.

- Are you not in love with her?

The thing is with me,

I've got too much love.

The cup runneth over with love.

There's love all over the floor.

What do you want me to do?

Do you want to throw it away?

No, I've gotta give it to others.

I'm taking this love from the floor

and giving it to other people

because I don't want to waste it.

That's all you need to understand.

Herbert Gwala, come on, four wives.

Happiest guy on Earth.

Every time you see him, he's jolly,

- he's laughing, good times.

- I need the loo.

Go to the loo, think about it.

Right now, you're overreacting.

Hey, waiter. Can I order from you?

F*** off.

Mr. Heiner Miller,

how are you feeling today?

I'm much better. In fact, I've come

for a quick coffee with the girls.

- The girls?

- Your wife and Laz.

Listen, how are the lectures going?

I'm only starting tomorrow.

Give them hell, kiddo! We'll chat soon.

Hey, baby, how are you?

Nice. Who you with?

I'm with Laz in Melville,

catching up after work.

She wanted to talk through some things.

Just the two of you?

Just the two of us but we are in Melville,

so anything can happen.

More drinking.

I thought you were having an early night?

No, not judging.

Just don't drink and drive, okay?

I love you too, babe. See you later.

Okay, bye.

Let's drink.

F***.

Hey, man.

- I need a favor.

- No.

No, no, no. That's not going to work.

Let me get this straight.

You left a guy with your wife at home.

Together, just chilling.

That's like leaving a colonialist

with all your treasures.

You Africans don't learn.

You Africans with your African ways.

Listen, I don't want to be disrespectful

to your wife.

She's lovely, but that dude

is going to colonize that ass.

Are you not forgetting somebody?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Hey, how are you?

There's a colony being built.

Hey.

I was just walking back to my car,

decided to have one more drink.

- Great, why don't you just have a seat.

- Thanks. Excuse me.

Do you have a BlackBerry charger?

Now, you see?

There is my point illustrated.

The man has to have his phone charged.

Are we not too dependent

on these machines? And you.

You cannot go two minutes

without touching your phones.

We're dependent.

- Pinky promise I will not look at it.

- I'll hold you to that.

- And who still uses a BlackBerry?

- That's not nice.

- Are you wearing a different shirt?

- No.

- You're wearing a different shirt.

- No.

- He's wearing a different shirt.

- Enough.

Can we put a drink in front of this man?

And put your phone away,

we just spoke about it.

- A drink.

- Help us, it's dry!

This is Joel Sabiti, leave a message.

Come on, why is your phone off?

Look, the person is married.

Are you ready to be that guy

and break a happy home?

No. That's whyI'm trying to

break this off. But she won't let up.

Wait. How happy can the home be

if she's finding carnal pleasures

in another man's bed?

Heiner, are you advocating adultery?

I'm not advocating anything.

It's too late, the deed is done.

But these are grown people.

Does she have children?

- But that doesn't matter.

- Was the sex good?

- Yeah, the sex is good.

- Do you have another life?

A cat's got nine lives.

Do you have another?

Of course not.

I'm not saying go out to hurt people,

but you have free will. So does she.

Free willy.

It's only society

that tells us this is wrong.

And society tends to be wrong

on a lot of things.

So, live life with no rules?

- Just like animals?

- More or less, yeah.

- Have you ever slept with a married woman?

- More than once.

You're so corrupt.

Would you let the love of your life go

just because she's married?

Generally, that's how it's supposed to go.

You're a man of literature.

You don't just go around

f***ing other people's wives.

- People get killed for this.

- You just did.

I know and I regret it.

- Did she give you that shirt?

- Really?

- I did not know...

- Excuse me.

- Are you Joel Sab...?

- Sabiti?

Sure. There's a phone call for you.

I love your work.

Hey, Joel Sabiti. Please do get me

a new t-shirt on your way back.

- Jokes.

- Thank you.

- Hello?

- Hey, man. What the hell?

Sh*t, sorry. My phone died.

- What's the vibe?

- The vibe is great.

The vibe between the old man and my wife.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think they've shagged yet. No.

But do they look like they want to shag?

It's kind of hard to tell.

I mean, the old man...

I get the feeling

that he doesn't mind boning her.

And my wife?

You know your wife. She's very friendly.

- You don't have anything to worry about.

- Is she drinking?

We're all pretty wasted, you know.

Wine. Tequila.

F***.

Listen, I need you to do me another favor.

I need you to sleep at my house.

What? No. That's crazy.

Please. Go home with them,

sleep at my house.

Say that you're too drunk to drive.

- Just...

- I'm already too drunk to drive.

- Plus my house is close to here.

- Please.

You know what you need?

You need to relax.

This is crazy.

He's probably...

- Welcome back. So who was that?

- Guess.

No. Why is she acting so crazy?

Hello, Mr. Tim?

Yes, it's Max Matshane here.

Listen, Mr. Tim,

I'm so sorry to do this to you,

but something really urgent came up,

and I need to get back to Joburg.

I'm so sorry to do this to you, Mr. Tim.

Hey.

What's up with the 2 a.m. call? You okay?

I've been trying to call you all morning.

Your phone's been off.

Yeah, I was in my lecture.

Excuse me.

Babe...

Did you perhaps withdraw two grand

from the account this morning?

Yeah, I stupidly did my laundry

at the hotel and...

they charged me out of my ass.

Should've seen the fight I had

with the manager.

Two grand?

For laundry? How much did you do?

It was a five star place.

You know they like to milk the tourists.

But don't worry, I'll replace it.

Okay, so...

need me to pick you up?

You're back tomorrow, right?

Or the day after?

No, don't worry. I'll take the train.

Okay, then. I love you. Bye.

Laundry.

I wouldn't suggest

going into the black areas like Soweto,

but if you really want to go,

I can organize you a guide.

He's one of my guys,

he's a black guy, so you should be safe.

Okay? I'll speak to you guys later.

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