Cats & Dogs Page #5

Synopsis: A secret war between cats and dogs quickly peaks as Professor Brody a scientist tries to create a serum to cure dog allergies in humans. As the unsuspecting humans go through their busy lives, the cats make several attempts to possess the formula, as their canine foes try tirelessly to stop them. Caught in the crossfire, a young beagle named Lou, adopted by the Brody family, tries hard to succeed as a secret agent, and in being a friend to the young Scotty Brody. A evil snow white cat named Mr. Tinkles is planning to sabotage the efforts of Professor Brody to discover a cure for human allergies to dogs. And he'll even make every person on Earth allergic to dogs so that he can take over the world with his army of evil cats!
Genre: Action, Comedy, Family
Director(s): Lawrence Guterman
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  2 wins & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
47
Rotten Tomatoes:
53%
PG
Year:
2001
87 min
Website
1,296 Views


... you will be cast out,|leaving me to lead...

. . .cats in a glorious revolution. . .

... to conquer the world!

-What will we do?|-"We"?

You doomed the human race forever.|There's nothing to do.

You always give up too easy, Butch.

-Is that what I think it is?|-What, Butch?

Yup, it's the Cat Tracker 2000.

Those fleabags must be|running for the hills.

That's what I was thinking.

Faster. I thought you were union!

I got a bonus for the guy....

That's it.|The Christmas tree from the note.

What the heck are they up to?

All those mice can feed an army.

-Hello, Professor Brody.|-Who are you?

Sorry about the wait. . .

-. . .but we had tests to run.|-Who's that?

Who are you?

Is this about my work?

You're from one of those. . .

. . .big multinational,|corporate, profit-mongering. . .

. . .pharmaceutical companies|stealing--

Pharmaceutical company?

You misunderstand me.

What's going on? Hello?

That smell.|A feline essence--

Where are you?

Show yourself.|You can't hide forever.

But I've nothing to hide.

Cool!

Will someone please shut her up?!

I have an ingenious test to perform.

Are you mutants?|I read this comic book--

"I read a comic book."

You make me sick!

Calm down, honey. Calm down.

It's an experiment gone awry.|You're turning blue!

It's about time.

My captive audience. . .

. . .shall we play a little game,|young Brody? Excuse me.

The vial! The green one!

Here, boss.

Oh, hello, Mr. Sinister Serum.

-What's in that?|-Well. . .

. . .my quote-unquote master's|fake snow. . .

. . .is the perfect medium|for carrying. . .

. . .your disease.

Ah, yes. Thereby. . .

. . .breaking the bond between a boy|and his dog.

No, wait.

Scat.

Lower the cage!

Success! You!

-Go assemble the troops.|-Yes, sir.

As for you, Brody herd. . .

. . .I have a very. . .

. . .very special. . .

. . .gift! What?!

I said buy a real gun!

-That's what I was thinking.|-What use can I have for this?!

Hey! I'm so clever.

This here is just plain fun.

-Stay here.|-Why?

Because I hate you.

No! Help! Let me out!

In just hours. . .

. . .every human in the world|will be allergic to dogs.

But such a mammoth plot|requires brothers-in-arms.

And this. . .

. . .is where my genius|truly comes to pass.

For I have chosen a comrade that can|invade every home in the world.

Mice!

Son of my mom!

Mice! The unlikeliest of allies.

You're all asking:

"How can he spread the allergy|to the world?"

Open your World Domination pamphlets|and I'll show you.

Enter the sewers and with the maps|in appendix B. . .

. . .you'll cross the nation.|Half go to homes. . .

. . .infecting every human,|while the rest--

Turn the page.

--will stow away|on planes and boats. . .

. . .to infect the world.|With the dogs gone. . .

. . .cats will overthrow the humans|and you'll be given your reward:

16 pounds of Monterey Jack. . .

. . .and the continent of Australia!

-Australia!|-Yeah!

Open the sewer hatch!

Okay, here's the plan.

Flee across the world!

Go forth and infect everyone!

Be all you can be!

My plan has come full circle!

You have nothing to fear but|mousetraps. . .

He ate Gary!

Run!

What's that?

It's over, Tinkles!

Dogs. Where are they?

Lou, the hatch. Close the hatch.

Bath time!

Surrender, you're finished!

Let's go!

I have a plane to catch.

Ivy's, go find Peek and Sam.|I've got to find Lou.

Good boy.

Hey! Stop!

Stop. I need to crush you.

I'll get you.

How did you find us?

-Come on, we have to go.|-Can you talk too?

I'll scratch that for you!

I'll squeeze you like a tick!

Come on, honey!

Come here.|I got a Milk-Bone for you.

I've got you now.

-Put me down, hairball!|-I just want a hug!

I'm coming, Butch!

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

You're too late, puppy.

I'm king of the world!

Get him, Lou!

I give up. Please don't hurt me.

Get your butt off my face,|Tinkles!

Now, where was I? Oh, yes.

Now the final crushing.

Dogs rule!

This is a minor setback.

You're finished, Fluffy!

Butch! We did it!

-Come on, Scotty!|-Come on! Quickly!

Come on!

Wait. Where's Lou?!

Kid, we did it.

We saved them like you said.|You were right.

And you were right about me.

Kid?

Oh, no.

Come on, Lou, wake up.

You're not a loser, Lou.

Wake up.

Mom, Dad, he's alive!

Mom, Dad, he's alive!

Come quick!

He came back!

-You have the right to-| -You have the right. . .

-. . .to remain silent.|-Anything you say can be used. . . .

Oh, my God!

And the right to a dog attorney.

Get it, Lou! Come on!

Nice! You're getting good.

Put your head forward.

All right, Dad!

-Lou, go get it.|-That's a triple.

Hey, kid.

Everything go okay at HQ?

They're eating out of my paw.|How's things?

-Great. Want to play some ball?|-No, I gotta get back to work.

Bring it here. Find the ball.

Come on! Go get it! Come on!

He's got it! He's got it!

Bring that ball!|Bring that ball back!

He would've made a great agent.

That's right, Mr. Tinkles.|You have been a very bad kitty.

I'm just going to have to|teach you how to behave.

Now you're going to have to live|with me and my sisters!

Mr. Tinkles!

Look what we made for you!

-I could eat you with a spoon!|-I can't take it!

Translated and linkage: Jean-Luc Picard

Rate this script:5.0 / 3 votes

John Requa

John Requa is an American screenwriter (with Glenn Ficarra) of Cats & Dogs, Bad Santa and the 2005 remake Bad News Bears. The DVD commentary for Bad News Bears revealed that Requa was to have had a bit role in the film, but it was not shot. Requa and Ficcara directed Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor in their screenplay I Love You Phillip Morris. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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