Cavalcade Page #2

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are going to fight Kruger?

(LAUGHS) That's right.

Are you going to cut Kruger

all in pieces with your sword?

- You blood-thirsty little devil!

- Oh, promise you will, Daddy.

All right. Little tiny pieces.

(LAUGHS) There, I told you he would!

(SOBBING)

Oh, El, it won't seem like no time at all

till Mr. Bridges comes home again.

- If he ever does come home again.

- Mother.

Now what have I said?

Well, we'll all have a good laugh

when he does get back.

(LAUGHING AND SOBBING)

That's what they said about

my poor Uncle Harry's brother Bill

in the war against the Zulus.

But they never had that laugh

'cause he was cut in half

with a assegai the day he landed.

- Mother, don't!

- (SOBBING)

(HUMMING)

Attention!

Oh, here, here, here, here.

Now, let's have a bit of life in it.

Here, half a mo, cookie.

Someone's gonna eat that pastry

- you're cryin' into.

- Oh, Alf, don't be such a fool.

(SOBBING CONTINUES)

Oh, my Lord.

Here, Fanny.

You can give your old dad a smile.

Come and have a look at your old dad.

Look at his buttons.

All shined up nice and bright, ain't they?

(WEEPING)

Oh, now, come on, old girl, now.

Cryin' won't do no good.

Fanny, your old dad's goin' to the war.

He's gonna be

a soldier of the Queen, my lass

Who's been, my lass, to sea

(CHEERING)

How many days will they be at sea,

Colonel?

Sixteen. It's 6,000 miles to South Africa.

You see, they land here at Cape Town,

then proceed by rail to Kimberley.

Then, by forced march, to Mafeking.

Let's hope they get there in time.

Mafeking's in a very bad way.

It's doubtful they can hold out much longer.

(BAND PLAYING)

Isn't it a wonderful sight?

I'm wondering how many of them

will come back alive.

It's come at last, hasn't it, this moment?

- You'll be brave, won't you?

- Take care of yourself.

I shall probably be seasick.

Then lie down flat

on every possible occasion.

- I'll try to remember.

- Bridges will look after you.

Perhaps he'll be lying down flat, too.

- (BAND CONTINUES PLAYING)

- (CHEERING)

This is horrid, isn't it?

I must go, too.

No, not just for a minute.

I really must go.

I'm going to kiss you,

then I want you to turn away

and go on talking so you won't see.

Mm-hmm.

I'm glad I didn't bring Edward and Joey.

They're too young, really,

and they'd get overexcited.

Besides, Joey has a cold.

Take care of yourself, my darling.

I felt you go when I said

that bit about Joey.

Oh, Robert! Robert!

(BAND PLAYING)

(SHIP HORN BLOWING)

(SHIP HORN CONTINUES)

(SHIP HORN BLARING)

Well, so far, they seem to be all right.

Thank God.

(SCREAMS)

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Dirty old Kruger! Dirty old Kruger!

Shut up, you silly kid, firing without orders!

- But I'm relieving Mafeking.

- You can't relieve it like that.

All right, then, I'm defending Mafeking.

- Shut up. You're wasting ammunition.

- Bang! Bang! Bang!

Don't do it again!

You kids have no idea how to fight a battle.

- Sorry, Bob.

- Get your men and guns over there.

- You're the Boers.

- But I don't want to be the Boers.

- Somebody's got to be the Boers.

- And that's all a girl's good for.

- I don't want to be the Boers.

- But I tell you.

I won't be the Boers! I won't be the Boers!

I won't be the Boers!

Oh, you cheat!

- Come on. Stop, stop!

- (ALL SHOUTING)

- What's the matter?

- Edith doesn't like being the Boers.

Well, and who would?

- Bang! Bang! Bang!

- Oh, now...

Oh, Joey, you're a naughty,

wicked little boy.

- Go straight upstairs this minute.

- Now, come here, Edith.

(CRYING)

- Come here and don't be so silly.

- Oh, go away, all of you.

Edward, take Joey upstairs.

Can't you play any other game

but soldiers,

fighting each other, killing each other?

(STREET ORGAN PLAYING)

Now, run along up to the nursery,

all of you.

And behave yourselves.

(ORGAN CONTINUES)

There's no escape

from that tune anywhere.

- Well, shall I throw him something?

- Yes, you could throw it at him.

Oh, Jane dear.

Hi! Hi! Will you go away?

Further down the street.

Jane dear, do sit down.

You've been standing about

all the afternoon.

- I don't believe I shall ever see them again.

- Nonsense.

Mafeking's bound to be relieved

in the next few days.

- All the papers say so.

- Everyone's been saying that for months.

My brother's still out there,

dying by inches,

starvation, disease and horror.

And Robert...

I can't bear to think of it

and I can't stop thinking.

Oh, no news yet, Ellen.

Have a nice cup of tea, ma'am.

Don't fret about the master, ma'am.

He's all right.

You see, he's got my Alfred with him.

And we'd be bound to hear

if anything happened.

Poor Ellen. It must be just as bad for you.

Well, no news is good news,

and what must be, must be.

That's what I say. You'd never

believe how that cheers you up.

(SOBBING)

Now, come, darling. Drink this tea.

Extra! All about the war!

Extra! Special, all about the war!

- Hi! Hi!

- Latest from the front! Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you, lady.

Extra! All about the war!

- Extra! All about the war!

- What is it, Ellen?

What is it?

- Nothing, ma'am.

- Paper! All about the war!

Extra! Paper!

(STREET ORGAN IN DISTANCE)

"No news is good news

and what must be, must be."

Now, look here, Jane dear.

I'm going now,

and I'm coming back at a quarter to 7:00.

Quarter to 7:
00. Why?

We're going out to dine at a restaurant

and we're going to a theater.

Restaurant? Theater? By ourselves?

Oh, Margaret.

Well, why not?

Now, there's no sense

in sitting at home fretting.

And it doesn't do any good.

We'll get Ronnie James to take us.

And if he can't, then we'll go by ourselves.

I don't care what people say.

It's sweet of you, Margaret,

but I simply can't.

Now, Jane dear...

I'm going home to have a bath

and to put on my new Redfern model,

- and I shall be back at a quarter to 7:00.

- But, Margaret, I...

Now, don't argue.

Do just what you're told.

Robert and Jim would hate to think of you

sitting at home weeping and wailing.

They're being gallant enough.

We must be gallant, too.

We'll dine at the Caf Royal.

- Margaret, honestly, I...

- Now!

We'll dine at the Caf Royal.

- (STREET ORGAN CONTINUES)

- (DOOR CLOSES)

(STREET ORGAN CONTINUES)

Play louder! Play louder!

Soldiers of the Queen, wounded and dying,

suffering for their Queen.

(ANGUISHED CRY)

Play louder!

(SOBBING) Play louder!

(U P-TEMPO ORCHESTRAL INTRO)

(SINGING)

(SINGING CONTINUES)

(SINGING ENDS)

- Heeey! Hey!

- (GIGGLING)

- Tell me something, Ada.

- What?

- You're not a dairymaid, are you?

- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Mr. Inquisitive!

Well, what are you?

- Me?

- Uh-huh.

Oh, I'm lady's maid

to the Princess Mirabelle.

The princess? Then he wins his bet after all.

Who? What bet?

Lieutenant Edgar.

All the officers on the ship wagered him

that he would not win the hand

of Princess Mirabelle.

He said he would marry her

if she was as ugly as sin.

- Oh!

- He needs the money!

- Tom! What are you doing here?

- Yes, sir.

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