CB4 Page #4

Synopsis: A "rapumentary", covering the rise to fame of MC Gusto, Stab Master Arson, and Dead Mike: members of the rap group "CB4". We soon learn that these three are not what they seem and don't apear to know as much about rap music as they claim... but a lack of musical ability in an artist never hurts sales, does it? You've just got to play the part of a rap star...
Genre: Comedy, Music
Director(s): Tamra Davis
Production: MCA Universal Home Video
 
IMDB:
6.2
Metacritic:
49
Rotten Tomatoes:
52%
R
Year:
1993
89 min
629 Views


We want you to want to sign with us.

Let me ask you a couple of questions.

- Do you cuss on your records?

- Yeah.

- Do you defile women with your lyrics?

- Yeah.

Do you...

...fondle your genitalia on stage?

- Yeah.

- Whenever possible.

Do you glorify violence

or advocate the use of guns

as a way of solving a civil dispute?

OK, final question.

Do you respect anything at all?

Not a goddamn thing.

You've got a deal!

Welcome to the family.

Trustus Productions!

Trustus. You can't trust me,

you can't Trustus.

I love, I love it!

Gold, gold, gold!

# Straight outta Locash

A crazy motherf***er named Gusto

# I f***ed your wife

Cos the b*tch is a big ho

# I f***ed your sister,

I f***ed your cat

# I would've f***ed your mom

but the b*tch is too fat

# When I'm in your neighbourhood

you better dig a moat

# Cos I'm coming to slit

your motherfuckin' throat

# Blood is drippin'

I'm not slippin'

# B*tches'panties is what I'm rippin'

# Rollin'faster than

a motherfuckin'dirt bike

# Never met a piece of p*ssy

that I didn't like

# Like to eat it, like to suck it

Take a sh*t in a bucket

# Straight outta Locash

Uh, crazy motherfuckers

# Yeah

# Where you from, nigga?

# Straight outta Locash

A crazy motherf***er named Dead Mike

# Get ready cos you goin'

for a long hike

# Off a cliff

I'm drivin'you over

# Now you're there

wit'your four-leaf clover

# Float like a cannonball

Sting like a shark

# I'm the nigga waitin'for you

in the dark

# Waitin' to rob you

Waitin' to beat you

# A bullet in the head

is how I'll reach you

# You're dealin' with the hat

and it's like that

# I tied your mother

to a motherfuckin' train track...

Cut! OK. Great.

Let's set up the next scene.

Everybody can take a break.

All right, dude!

God, I just love that "I don't give

a damn" hip-hop attitude. It's so real.

- Hey, excuse me.

- What's up, baby? How can I help you?

I know you were hooked into the prison

seeing that you're from Cell Block 4.

Yeah, I was runnin' sh*t up at CB4.

I had a brother up at Folsom. He was

smoked by The Black Guerrilla Family.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You gotta help me get revenge.

They killed him on the toilet.

They could've wiped his ass.

They didn't have to leave him like that!

That's cold-blooded. They gots to pay.

They got to pay!

They gots to pay.

I read that part of it.

Man, what's he doin' here?

I would appreciate you givin' brother

Baa Baa Ack the respect due him.

- He is givin' me spiritual instruction.

- You mean tax deduction.

- Listen here, Albert!

- Don't call me Albert!

- It's Gusto, got it?

- That's exactly my point.

None of this is real, so we got

to stay grounded in reality.

Nigga, please! Baa Baa Black Sheep is

about as fake as a b*tch's hair weave.

There they are. Dead Mike, MC Gusto!

This is Eve Edwards of Source Magazine.

- She's here to do a piece on the group.

- You're here to give the group a piece?

- I gots to go first.

- Why you disrespect this sister?

She just a groupie with a pen.

A pen is all you have in

your pants, it's out of ink.

- Watch it, ho!

- Ho?

This is not Christmas,

you slender slice of sexist slime,

and I am not a girlie, a videho,

a skeezer, a prop, a hoochie or a stunt.

And most certainly not a ho. Comprende?

Princess is no joke!

- Thank you, Euripides.

- It's my pleasure, sister Edwards.

No, please, call me Eve.

- You know...

- I am not a groupie.

I am a journalist.

I take no shorts and I do my research.

I can do a nice puffy feature

that reports exactly what you tell me,

or I can delve so deeply

into your background

with an eye for every inconsistency,

your mother would disavow

any knowledge of your birth.

Now, which would you prefer, Albert?

I love you.

My ass was behind MC Hammer's head

in U Can't Touch This.

- You can't touch this

- Who'd want to touch that?

My left breast was prominently

featured in Eric B's last video.

This video exposure is too come-and-go.

What you need to do

is get yourself a Polaroid Instamatic.

You see this watch?

This is what the right picture

of the right man

doin' the wrong thing can get you.

And on that note,

we gotta go, gotta go.

Yeah, we work for a livin'.

You gonna keep workin',

the rate you goin'.

It's fine and dandy to go out with these

guys and to drive around in their car,

and have them take you

to an expensive restaurant.

But if all you get out of it

is a f***, then you's a ho.

But you get yourself

a fabulous motor vehicle,

a fine house and can afford

to pay for your own meals,

then you are a businesswoman.

Run your black ass back to the

projects and get your government cheque.

Take that monkey-ass, Shaka Zulu-lookin'

b*tch with you, you hip-hop hos.

- You look a little lost, darlin'.

- I guess I am lost.

I'm looking for Albert, Albert Brown.

- Who?

- I mean MC Gusto.

Oh, you're here for him?

Yeah, he's kinda cute.

Not enough man meat on him for me.

I hurt small guys like that.

Small men drown in my sh*t.

Look, honey, I hope you get your man.

Or get you some sense and

leave them small men alone.

What's happenin'?

Comin' through.

Straight Outta Locash

made us large

and I knew what we were

doin' wasn't totally right,

but it was definitely time to get paid.

# Yo, Rakim, what's up?

# Yo, I'm doin' the knowledge, E

Tryin' to get paid in full

# Check this out, since Nobry Walters

is our agency, right?

- # And Kara Lewis is our agent

- # Word up

# Zakia/4th & Broadway

is our record company

- # Indeed

- # So who we rollin' with then?

- # We rollin' with Rush

- # Of Rushtown Management

# Check this out, since we talkin'over

this def beat I put together

# I wanna hear some of those def rhymes,

you hear what I'm sayin'?

# And together

we can get paid in full...

Hey. Welcome to

Weird Warren's V-V-V... Video Countdown.

Homeboys, homegirls,

ain't no need to be lax

cos you got

Weird Warren workin' wax.

Of course, CD stacks and video tracks.

CB4 is one of the hottest hip-hop groups

to hit the scene in a long time.

They come not out of Compton,

not out of Oaktown,

but out of a small town called Locash.

If you're in Sacramento,

they roll into your town next week.

Now, let's bust

Straight Outta Locash with CB4

on Weird Warren's V-V-V-V...

Video Countdown.

# Check this sh*t outl

- # Yo, Gusto.

- # What's up?

# Kick that sh*t.

# Straight outta Locash

A crazy motherf***er named Gusto

# I'll f*** your wife

Cos the b*tch is a big ho

# I'll f*** your sister

I'll f*** your cat

# I woulda f***ed your mom

but the b*tch is too fat

# When I'm in your neighbourhood

You better dig a moat

# Cos I'm comin' to slit

your motherfuckin' throat

# Blood is dripping...

Hey, Dad, CB4!

Billings, I've got

all this paper in front of me.

Charts, graphs, the works.

What's the bottom line?

Am I gonna win?

Of course you're gonna winl

But your only hope is to

create some kind of media event.

- Daddy!

- A media event? What do you mean?

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Chris Rock

Christopher Julius Rock is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer and director. After working as a stand-up comedian and appearing in supporting film roles, Rock came to wider prominence as a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the early 1990s. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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