Celal ile Ceren Page #7

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- Do what?

- Let's get started.

- Started with what?

What do you think?

You're being naughty.

Don't, Celal!

I'm ticklish.

Please.

- Did you make that sound?

- I think so.

Is there a monster inside you?

You know my outside monster too.

You animal.

Celal, you might as well take a dump.

What kind of noise is that?

I've never heard anything like it.

I wonder if I caught a chill.

Never mind. I'll fart my way

through sex if I have to.

Stop it, I said.

- I feel awful.

- What should we do?

With this pain I can't hold it in.

It's going to come out.

- Don't you dare.

- It's going to run down my leg.

Don't.

- I'll run off to the toilet.

- Alright.

Don't touch me. It makes me

have to sh*t even more.

God! It's coming.

Oh no.

What's this? What's this?

Sibel! Sibel!

I forget to tell you.

I'm redoing my whole life...

...including a new bathroom.

- Where do you go to the toilet?

- My neighbor...

- Where do you sh*t?

My neighbor's, Auntie Trkan. Run.

That's where I go.

It's starting.

It's going to run.

Open up, lady!

Through the hall, Trkan!

Coming through!

What are you doing?

They say it goes away if you get scared.

That's hiccups!

How can the need to sh*t pass?

Do you think it disappears?

I sh*t myself!

So much for caves and women

and my first woman.

It smells like a sewer out here.

Pardon me, Auntie.

- Son, you're a grown man.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

And at this age?

When people get the urge they

go to the toilet...

...and do their business.

Come in and get cleaned up.

I'll give you my late husband's pants.

Get inside. Go on!

What are you doing running around

like a madman?

Sorry, I'm going through

a really rough period...

...and I won't play clown for you.

Leave me alone.

I've got some bad news.

I'm already in the sh*t. Go on.

Tell me.

Ceren is going out with some guy

named Baturalp.

I'm serious. I saw it on Facebook.

They're posting on each other's walls.

Herstatus is "In a relationship".

- We're talking about Ceren here.

Would Ceren do something like that?

- Come see for yourself...

...and don't blame me. Come on.

- Are you kidding?

- Why would I kid you?

- Are you kidding?

If this is a prank,

I'll be pissed off.

See. In a relationship.

That's her page.

Go back. With Baturalp.

Do you see that?

So, Baturalp is screwing Ceren.

Watch your mouth!

She's still yoursister-in-law,

even if we broke up.

What do you mean "screwing"?

That's no way to talk.

I'll smash your head into the monitor.

He's taking herto dinner.

Taking her to dinner?

Now I really feel like sh*t.

Mood swings can do that.

Your body's full of adrenaline

right now.

Going to dinner, huh, Baturalp?

Then Baturalp taking us to dinner too.

I'm not dropping this.

I'm going to that dinnertoo.

- Are you coming with me?

- You know I'm with you all the way.

I'd do anything for you.

Let Baturalp compliment us

on our skirts too.

Let Baturalp buy us dinner too!

- Are you coming?

- I'm coming!

Come on, get up.

It's such a nice place.

- Do you like it?

- I love it.

- Allow me to say something.

With you, it's even nicer.

Thank you. That's very kind.

Welcome, gentlemen.

We don't feel well at all.

Not at all.

What kind of lowlife are you?

What kind of lowlife?

What kind of lowlife?

Smarmy bastard!

What kind of lowlife?

- Step outside.

- Outside.

Step outside.

I'll tum that blazer into a T-shirt.

I'll tum that blazer into a onesie.

- Me?

- You, you.

Is there another smarmy bastard here?

- Come outside!

- Any other half-ass aristocrat here?

He's ratting to the waiter.

He's trying to scare us.

Those two hoodlums

are disturbing me.

- I wonder if you could throw them out?

- Of course, Baturalp Bey. Immediately.

Oh, we're so scared.

Celal?

Ceren, this isn't about you.

Tum back around.

- Celal, could you leave?

- Turn round, Ceren. It doesn't concern you.

- Excuse me.

- Sir, is there a problem?

Sir, please behave yourself.

Baturalp is an important patron.

I'll be forced to throw you out

if you go on like this.

Stop waving your arms around.

- Fine, sir. I apologize.

- Alright?

Our patronage isjust as important

as Baturalp Bey's.

So don't go poking your nose

into everything.

Okay, brother? You're a fine fellow.

All dressed up.

Now go get me some carapacheo.

Then we'll leave without making trouble.

- Perhaps you meant carpaccio?

- Perhaps you meant carpaccio.

- Right, sir.

- Go on.

Hey! Salt shaker!

Are you ratting to the waiter? Huh!

I'll make a romantic drizzle.

- Celal.

- I've got lots of spit.

I can spit long range.

- Don't worry about them.

- He's such a jerk.

- Really...

- Look at them now.

Kissing hands!

You think we're pimps, or what?

- Sir, please.

- Hand kissing and all that.

You'll have to leave.

- Are we pimps?

- Celal?

Kissing my girlfriend's hand

right in front of me.

You think we're pimps?

Let go of her.

I apologize to everyone.

It's a love thing.

Sorry about that.

I couldn't sock him in thejaw,

So I'm still mad as hell.

Just drop it.

You scared him. Let's go.

- Okay then

- I should have socked him one...

...and then I'd feel better.

I'm not going anywhere right now.

Don't be silly. The guy's scared.

Come on.

That's the same guy, isn't it?

It looks like him.

Good day, brother.

- Good day. Yes?

- Are you Felicio?

- Federico.

- What?

- My name's Federico.

- Are you going to play in there?

- Yes.

Get another poster made.

Some naked leg is showing.

And pull up your socks.

There's something I want to ask you.

Something I've got to sort out.

Let's take a little walk.

I've got something to ask you.

How do you manage this

music business?

Well, first I rehearse with my friends.

- We look for the right sound.

- Right.

Ceren, where'd you find a jerk

like that?

I'd never expect that of you.

Really.

I don't know whether to take

your going to dinnerwith me as...

...an insult or a compliment.

None of it makes sense to me.

I'm sorry, but that's that.

He's a real jerk.

That's enough. Please stop.

Whatever.

I'm not going to waste this dinner

talking about a useless jerk.

- To your beauty.

- Thank you.

Good evening, Istanbul.

I'm Federico Valerio

Delvez de Garcia de Valerio.

This is a great group.

- I have no mother and no father.

- Especially the soloist.

Federico Flemenco.

I came into this world alone,

in a favela in Barcelona.

Neglected by God and the angels.

Within him burns the...

...undying flame of the Mediterranean.

Middle-aged women know it well.

Okay, men, don't get angry.

Middle-aged men know it well too,

I might add.

I will begin the night by

greeting you and mingling.

Off we go.

Hello, blonde lady.

Welcome, Baturalp Bey.

How are you, sir?

Do you recognize me, bastard?

- Celal, what are you doing?

- Here, take this wig.

And the mustache.

It'll make you look a little like a man.

I'll see you later.

Good evening. Enjoy your dinner.

Let me get that.

Come here. Come here.

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