Cellmates Page #3

"No," he say.

"So what did we get?"

"A lesson," he say.

You know, you remind me of my brother Eduardo.

He hate that I talk so much.

He say, "Emilio,

if you say one more word,

I'm gonna grab you and i'm gonna hit your head

against the wall."

I tried to keep my lip closed,

but I can't keep my lip closed.

My lips open again,

and the words start coming out.

Do you ever see dr. Ben Casey on TV?

That's my favorite TV show.

Dr. Ben casey always have perfect hair,

Even when he spend the whole day in the hospital room

Saving a woman hit by a car,

Or a man who jump from a window.

Dr. Ben casey walks into the operating room,

And wow, he have great hair.

My grandfather have great hair.

My father have great hair, too.

When I'm born,

I have this hair.

My mother ask to me, "Emilio, why you don't have

hair like your father?

"You look like un caniche,

a poodle dog.

"You want to live in America?

All Americans have great hair," that's what she say.

Sometimes a whole potato field

can be lost to pests.

You got them blister beetles that cause retarded growth

and ragged leaves,

Them Colorado potato beetles that leave stringy black

excrement behind.

You got them flea beetles

that love nothin' more than.

Look at Elvis Presley, Frankie Avalon -

Johnny Carson, Dick Van Dyke.

They have great hair.

That's what makes them very American.

- You got the green peach aphid, you got the potato aphid.

- Frank Sinatra, Walter Cronkite.

You got the flea beetle that loves nothin' more

Than to bore these tiny little holes into the potato.

- Robert Redford in the candidate...

- White grubs, brown grubs, green grubs...

- Edmund Muskie.

- Pinworms, Wireworms...

- Even James Brown...

- Mites, weevils...

- Has great hair.

This is my Father's comb.

It was his Father's comb.

My Grandfather used this comb

when he fight in the Battle of Celaya in 1915.

In the battle, my grandfather lost an arm,

And he keep fighting.

Then he lost the other arm,

And he keep fighting.

After the battle, General Pancho Villa

Look at my Grandfather and he say,

"You have the most perfect hair

I ever see."

- He was very proud, my Grandfather.

- Proud, huh?

Very proud.

They call him "El Sin Brazos", the man without arms.

He married three times, had 17 children,

And all that without hands.

Very proud.

- ( Chuckles ) pride!

What you know about pride? Huh?

You want me to tell you about pride?

Well, pride is nearly winnin' district 26 of the Beaumont's

house of representatives by a small margin of votes.

Pride is makin' Grand Dragon of one of the finest American

institutions ever created.

Yeah, but if you did all that without hands,

It would be more impressive, no?

Well, i guess if i'm condemned to share a cell with you,

We're gonna have to set some ground rules, huh?

Just think of this as...

As a border, okay?

As a border, okay?

This is the rio grande of Low Lee State prison.

On this side, we have the United States of America.

On that side, we have Mexico.

Me, I'm the gringo.

I stay on my side called America,

You, the mexican, stay on your side, and that's called Mexico

I don't go to Mexico. No.

And you don't come to America, comprende?

- Yes, but there is a problem.

- What problem?

America has the toilet.

Any mail for me?

Did i get any mail? Hey!

My friend Felipe write to me..

Praise the lord!

The fence hopper got himself a fence hopper pen pal.

Well, if you wasn't such a racist gringo,

You might have a pen pal, too.

Oh, he say they continue

with the strike.

And he hope when I get out we will get better work hours

and more pay.

But it don't look like anybody cares about the strike.

They just hire new people who will work for less.

- Hey, don't you know anything about how the American

government works?

- What do you mean?

- You never heard about them liberals out there

in Washington?

- Liberals?

- That's right.

You minorities got more people workin' for you in Washington

Than us hard-Workin' white folk got anywhere.

See, all you gotta do is get yourself a few hundred

Of them labor union volunteers down here,

And you got yourself a cause.

Don't you know nothin'?

Well, I know I have to find more

About these Washington Liberals,

that's for sure.

Chlorpropham kills them

potato grubs dead.

Ddt is lethal for weevils

most of the time.

Dieldrin is deadly

For all types of aphids..

And my sister,

her name is Eliana.

I don't talk very much with her...

I was holdin' down the fort best I could.

But them dogged Mexicans

was closin' in.

I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't peek at that clock

on the wall from time to time,

Waitin' for the big hand to hit 12.

You see I've got a responsibility.

I've got a responsibility to these growers.

These growers are expecting me to produce

Some kind of potato crop.

- Did i say something funny, Leroy?

- Uh-Uh. No, warden, you never do.

- What's that?

- None of your business!

- What are you reading?

- I don't need you nosin' around my personal communications!

Personal communication?

Who write to you a personal communication?

- Will you stop harassin' me? It's none of your beeswax!

- Okay, okay,

if you don't wanna tell me,

Don't have to tell me.

You don't have to tell me nothing

if you don't want.

I'm not gonna ask you

to show me nothing.

Maybe one day I can see it.

But if you don't want me to see it,

You don't have to show me nothing.

If you don't want.

- It's in Spanish anyway.

- Spanish? Who write to you in Spanish?

The warden's maid, if you must know.

A woman wrote to you a letter?

Ah, you're a very lucky man.

- ( Chuckles ) oh, I don't know about all that, now.

- Oh, yeah, very lucky man.

- So what this woman say?

- I don't know! I don't speak Spanish!

I speak Spanish.

All right...

If i let you read this note,

You are gonna read it,

you will tell me what it say,

Then you will hand it back to me,

And you're gonna forget you ever read it!

- Understood?

- Sure.

- You're gonna forget we ever even havin' this conversation!

I will forget everything about this conversation.

I will forget everything about this day, too.

And this week will only have six days for me.

Okay. What's the damn thing have to say?

Her name is Madalena.

Beautiful name.

- What does Madalena have to say?

- Oh, she say you should smile sometimes.

- She what?

- That's what she say.

"You should smile sometimes."

I can't see why that maid said I never smile.

I smile as much as anybody, I think.

Oh, sure. I never see nobody smile as much as you.

I guess I will write her.

It's only good manners, right?

It is good manners to write back.

Well, then i will. I'll write her.

It don't cost nothin'.

Well, what should I write?

I think you should tell her why you never smile.

There's a problem.

- JI don't write no Spanish!

- I do.

Well, I don't smile...

Because I'm stuck in a prison cell...

Away from the klan...

Surrounded by a bunch of grasshoppers.

- That don't sound too good in spanish..

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