Celtic Pride Page #2

Grab some big, fat defence.

- That's all we need to do.

- One other thing.

- Keep feeding me the rock.

- Thanks for the pep talk, a**hole.

Come on, let's do it.

One, two, three, Jazz.

Hey, Coach Kimball!

You'd better do what Lewis Scott says,

'cause he owns your ass!

- Why don't you shut up!

- Why don't you learn to coach!

Come on, buddy.

Come and get me!

He's not worth it!

Go!

OK, here we go.

Good luck, guys.

All right, work it down now.

Go!

Hustle back on "D"!

Heads up, right side!

Defence! Defence!

Charge!

Beautiful, Celts!

Let's go!

Watch it, ref!

- Yeah, Kirby!

- Back on "D"!

- Sorry, chief.

- Hey, ref!

- That was a foul.

- No way.

- Good call. No blood, no foul.

- Quit whining and take your Midol!

Spread out! Number 3!

Yeah!

- Why don't you try passing the ball?

- Worry about your own game.

Lewis, I think he's right.

What a dick!

Celts, Celts, Celts, Celts!

I love the Celtics!

What do you want, punk?

Utah sucks, Utah sucks,

Utah sucks, Utah sucks!

- A new Celtics dynasty is beginning.

- They're gonna do it.

It's going to feel so good to deny

Lewis Scott the championship.

He'll never win it.

Chris McCarthy! Where have you been?

I got married. I'm up in New York.

Haven't seen you since '86,

when Buckner had that mishap.

Hey, not my fault.

- What are you doing?

- I came for the game.

- I got a ticket. 300 from a scalper.

- You're hard core.

Hey, good to see you.

- You guys want to go to Doyle's?

- See you there.

Chris McCarthy!

- You still on that Buckner thing?

- Yeah. Chris McCarthy!

- Hey, fellas.

- Hey!

One, two, Jazz!

Here we go!

- There it is.

- You can't stop me!

Come on!

Good thing they're tearing this place

down, 'cause I'm wrecking your house.

No!

- I'm on fire!

- Time-out, ref.

What just happened?

They were on fire.

Then something changed.

Yeah. What changed since first half?

Hey, guys.

- I think you should go, Chris.

- What are you talking about?

Celtics were up by 1 8,

and now they're only up by 2!

- So what?

- You're the bad luck guy.

- You're not gonna lay this one on me.

- Seriously. See you tomorrow.

- I mean it! Get out of here, now!

- Not going.

Give it.

- Are you happy now?

- Hit the road!

I paid 300 bucks for this ticket.

That's a frigging car payment!

- The nerve of that guy.

- You're telling me.

- It's over. He's gone now.

- The virus has been destroyed.

Bing! Gotcha!

Maybe your lucky seat is my

lucky seat for the second half.

So by sitting in this seat

I'm helping the Jazz? Switch!

Maybe you two should switch.

- The Celts are getting killed, Mikey.

- They've got to work it to the post.

Kiss my ass, Boston!

Switch, switch!

Switch, switch!

Everybody, this is not working.

It was a bad idea!

Back to your seats! Now!

Defence!

Get Scott!

No!

They didn't use enough time.

Why didn't they listen to me?

How hard can it be?

- Lewis! I'm going to Disneyland!

- Good.

I can't believe

it's going seven games.

Well, it could be worse.

It's not like we're boat people

out in the Bermuda Triangle

in a leaky raft dying of thirst.

I wish I was a boat person!

Their team didn't lose.

- They're happy! They're on a boat.

- In the sun.

Maybe I shouldn't.

I'm starting to see double.

- Flaherty Plumbing.

- It's Patty and Timmy.

You won't believe who's in here.

Lewis Scott!

- What? You're pulling my chain.

- He just left us a $ 1 00 tip.

- "And he's dancing. What an a**hole!"

- Thanks.

Timmy and Patty are bar keeping

at the Roxy. Guess who just walked in?

- Who?

- Lewis Scott.

They said he's dancing.

He's dancing!

I mean, he's throwing it in our face!

- The nerve of that guy.

- You're telling me.

I'm wearing Jack Nicklaus's jacket!

He got it for winning his first Masters,

so don't get cranberry on it.

- Are you sure he's here?

- Timmy and Patty swear he is.

There he is.

- What a dick.

- Come on.

This is stupid.

What are we doing here?

I just want to look him in the eye.

Cover me. I'm going in.

Cover you?

You're covered. Oh, boy.

They were singin'and movin'

to the groovin'

Play that funky music, white boy

Play that funky music right

- So?

- I looked into the face of the Devil.

- And I feel stronger for it.

- Good. I'm proud of you.

I can't believe this guy is trying to

take my championship away from me!

Money for nothing

and chicks for free, right?

- Something's got to be done.

- There's nothing to do.

What if we got him completely wrecked

so he was too hung over to play well.

- We could do that.

- Nobody could do it better.

He'd be wasted for a week!

So let's do it.

Are you serious? You really want

to do it? Because I will do it.

Let's mess him up.

- Tell him we're his biggest fans.

- Hey, Lewis Scott!

- I'm your biggest fan! How are you?

- Don't I know you?

- I saw the game. You were great.

- Yeah, I guess I was.

- You're the dude on the dance floor.

- Scott, you son of a b*tch.

The Celtics are going

to hand you your ass on Sunday.

Your whole team hates you,

and so do I.

Really? Well, look at this here.

She loves me. So does my banker.

Go vomit so you can feel better

about yourself.

You're just a selfish ball hog, and...

Hey, moron! The reason why he's

a selfish ball hog is because...

..he's the greatest player in the NBA.

I'm gonna beat your ass just like

Utah's going to beat the Celtics.

- Where are you from?

- Charlestown. Get out of here.

Traitor! Back-stabber!

- I'm going to throw up.

- I appreciate that, man.

It takes courage

to speak the truth in this town.

He wouldn't have said it if he

didn't mean it. You're the greatest.

- You guys are well-educated fans.

- We want to buy you a drink!

No, no, no, Lewis Scott is

going to buy you two a drink.

Another beer,

and my new friends here will have...

A scotch soda!

Schnapps and a scotch.

Make mine a vodka.

- This is a great party.

- It's great here!

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- Good game tonight, Lewis.

- What's up, old timer?

Wish you was out there.

I'd take you to school.

You must love living

in that fantasy world.

- What are you up to?

- Having dinner with friends.

- Really? This is...

- I'm Larry Bird. How are you?

- I mean Mike O'Hara.

- And...

-Jimmy Flaherty.

- They're an endangered species here.

Two white Irish guys who hate

the Celtics, ain't that right, guys?

- Er...

- No...

We loved the Celtics, when you played

for them. You were the master.

But I guess for the Celtics, the

leprechauns have left the building.

Fans like you make me sick.

You love us when we win

and hate us when we lose.

It's pathetic. You should learn

something about loyalty.

Fans like these, you can have 'em.

Who needs his lanky ass anyway?

- He was overrated as a player.

- Yeah, he wasn't really that great.

- Yeah, he sucked.

- Sucked.

- Where are our drinks?

- Right away.

We were at the game

when Seton Hall beat Boston College.

- Get out of here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes