Central Intelligence Page #11

That was my plan the whole time. So...

You are a natural for this line of work.

I mean, you're smart, you got

the skill set, you're a people person

and you already got a dope-ass code name,

"The Golden Jet!" What?

But in the meantime,

we gotta get those encryption codes

over to Harris right away

or we're gonna be late.

What are you talking about? Late for what?

The reunion, dude. What-what!

This sh*t's on!

Bob. Damn it.

Bob!

One more thing.

Thanks for securing the satellite codes.

You really saved my ass.

Your country thanks you.

Just doing my job.

I'm really sorry about your hand.

I hope you know that wasn't personal.

Oh, no hard feelings at all, Pam.

Besides, everybody makes mistakes.

Calvin, here, thought

you were The Black Badger.

I don't... No, I don't think...

When we were in the plane,

you said, "Hey, Harris is the Black..."

I think you should... Maybe I...

Mr. Joyner, it was a pleasure

working with you.

If you ever want a career change,

you give me a call.

If I were to give you a call,

how would I get in touch with you?

Just pick up any phone in your house.

They're all bugged.

You're crazy. Hey, you're crazy!

That's a good one.

Calvin! I got your text

and came right over.

Where the hell have you been?

Why did you get out of a helicopter?

Hey, uh, Maggie.

Uh, hi!

Babe, why is Dr. Dan with you?

Well... Uh...

That's not Dr. Dan.

Allow me to properly introduce myself.

My name is Bob Stone, the artist

formerly known as Robbie Wheirdicht.

I work for the CIA.

I roped your husband

into helping me track down a traitor,

who was gonna sell

military state secrets to a terrorist.

We did all that, we stopped them,

we saved the free world, and here we are.

What the hell is going on?

Okay, listen, listen.

I've been a fool. All right?

I thought that my life was a failure.

I thought that it wasn't special.

But it is special.

It's special because I have you in it.

You are my world.

You are what makes me special!

You're everything to me, Mags.

I love you.

I love you.

Okay.

Here come the waterworks.

I promised myself I wouldn't do this.

- Come on, come on.

- Okay.

- That's Robbie Wheirdicht?

- Yeah.

- Hi, Brian.

- Hi, Gail.

Guys, this isn't a good idea.

You know what?

I'll just meet you later.

I shouldn't have come.

Wait, wait, wait.

Bob, calm down, okay? Listen to me.

Tonight is not gonna be

how high school was for you 20 years ago.

I promise.

Attention, por favor.

And now, for the moment

you've all been waiting for,

tonight's vote for the reunion

homecoming king and queen!

We'll announce the queen in one moment.

But first, without further ado...

The new homecoming king

for the Central High School Centaurs,

Class of 1996 is...

I really gotta pee, Jet.

Bob Stone!

Do we have a Bob Stone?

Here he is, Bob Stone, huh!

Yeah!

Go on, get your rock-hard ass up there.

For reals?

For reals, for reals. Go ahead, man.

Whoo!

You did it, big guy!

How did Bob Stone win homecoming king?

I hacked into the votes on the flight in.

Calvin Joyner, forensic accountant,

at your service.

I had no idea you could do that.

There's a lot of things

that you don't know about me, Maggie.

No, scratch that I said that.

It was supposed to

come out cool. It didn't.

It was something I thought of,

it was like a...

Forget it.

Well, well, let's hear it for him!

Fat Robbie made good.

King Robbie Weird Dick, our naked mascot.

Why don't you just

get out of the way, Trevor?

Or what, Golden Jet?

You're gonna hop up here

and punch me in the belt?

Simmer down, Ant-Man.

- You know what? That's it. That's it.

- It's okay.

- It's all right.

- No, I've had it!

- I got it, Jet. It's okay.

- It's okay.

I'll handle it.

Whoa, whoa! Hang on. I'm not buying

this whole transformation

from ugly duckling into swan.

No one in here is.

You can fly in, in a bunch of helicopters

and dress up in a thousand suits,

but to everybody, including me,

you'll always just be the fat kid.

I've been thinking

about this a lot, Trevor.

And the only thing I want to say

to you is I forgive you.

You forgive me! Oh, boy! For what?

For being rad as sh*t.

F*** you, fat boy.

Still a scared little b*tch.

I don't like bullies.

And the name is Bob Stone, b*tch!

Whoo-whoo!

Come on, baby. Step over.

Hi, everybody!

Most of you knew me back in high school as

Robbie Wheirdicht.

- That's Robbie Wheirdicht?

- No way!

I wore prescription pants every day.

Twenty years ago, in this gym,

I stood in front of you all

naked

and embarrassed.

Some of you might remember that day.

A lot of you probably even laughed.

But that's okay.

Tonight's gonna be different because

my best friend is here with me.

And he taught me what it means

to be the hero of your own story.

Would you hold this for me, please?

Being the hero of your own story

isn't about stopping bad guys

or climbing mountains.

It's about overcoming bullies

in your life,

whatever or whomever they may be.

It's about putting it all out there

for everyone

to see.

And it's realizing that, in life,

the most important thing that you can be

is yourself.

So, Central High, Class of 1996,

this is me, Robbie Wheirdicht.

Oh, my God! Bob just went commando!

Yes! Yes!

Way to go, Bob!

Be you!

Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!

Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!

Hey, man!

Dude, this is amazing!

I'm so happy for you!

Thank you, Jet! I feel so free!

- Come here.

- No, no, no.

Your junk is out.

- Oh. Sorry, Jet.

- Excuse me.

Hi, Robbie.

- You probably don't remember me.

- Darla.

- Is that Darla McGuckian?

- Yeah.

Wow! She looks great!

Didn't she used to have a lazy eye?

- Two of them.

- Wow.

I can't believe you remember me.

Remember you?

How could I forget you?

You still have the same sweet smile,

the same sweet face.

But your hair's changed.

You used to wear it curlier.

I like it though.

You haven't changed at all.

Oh, I don't know.

You're still as beautiful as ever.

Oh.

- Yeah, Bob!

- Go, Bob!

No, no, no.

Oh, I got spinny.

Super spinny.

Yeah, that's nice.

- Can I take you to get ice-cream...

- Yes.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Super lactose intolerant, but that's okay.

Let's roll the dice.

That's my jam!

Go show them what you got.

- All right, Darla.

- Okay.

Darla, hi. Calvin.

Hi, Colin. Nice to meet you.

- Calvin.

- And Maggie.

Maggie, hi!

Hi. You look so good.

- My gosh, you look the same.

- You do too.

Oh, I don't know.

You probably remember me

as The Golden Jet.

Your name's Golden Jeff? Hi, Jeff.

It's okay. Good to see you.

- Good going, Bob!

- Come on, Bob!

- All right.

- Good luck!

- Love you.

- I love you.

I love you, too, little Golden Jet!

Mmm...

Okay. Uh...

How long do you think he's been there?

Hmm, probably since last night.

All right, babe, I'll see you later.

Have fun with your friend!

Who, me?

Yes, you.

Wow, Jet!

You look amazing!

- Do you think?

- Oh, what? Yes!

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