Central Intelligence Page #5

didn't want that weight going to my hips.

As a man, you don't want big hips,

especially in high school.

Bottom line,

I have no allegiance to this man.

Zero ties, okay?

All ties are cut.

I cut them, so this is me and you.

So don't put me and him...

I ain't in this sh*t, okay?

All right, Mr. Joyner. Prove it.

Yeah, well, I need a second.

You gotta step outside.

I gotta take a sh*t.

This is a lot.

I got to go. Just give me a second, man!

- I'll be waiting.

- Jesus Christ!

All teams be advised,

we're Oscar Mike with the bait.

I'm sorry, did you just

call me "the bait"?

No.

Yeah, you did.

She just called me the bait.

Why am I the bait?

No, that doesn't sound like

something I'd ever say.

- You just said it.

- What's going on here?

Sir, I'm gonna need you to step aside.

This is a matter of national security.

Yeah, right! I love it.

What is this? Like a strippergram thing

to suck up to Ethan?

Gotta love strippers. So dirty.

Show us your tits! Show us your tits!

Hey, let's see some titty!

- This you?

- Yeah, right here.

You did this to yourself.

- Small.

- Yeah.

It's my wife.

Mr. Joyner, it is my legal obligation

to inform you

that you are now a part of

a highly classified covert action.

So, say hello to your wife

and then get off the phone.

Am I clear?

Don't tell my wife sh*t. Got it.

Don't tell your wife sh*t.

- What line?

- Line one.

Hey, Mags.

Hey, I can't really talk right now, babe.

- I got a lot going on.

- Okay, okay. I get it. You're hungover.

Listen, Dr. Dan can see us today at lunch.

- Wait a minute, Dr. Dan?

- The therapist, remember?

So, I'm thinking we should just

meet at home and go together. Thank you.

Go. Go on,

and I'll just see you there, okay?

But I got to really go, babe.

I'm slammed in here.

So, I gotta get off the phone.

- All right. Jeez! Is everything okay?

- Everything is fine, babe.

I gotta keep the line clear.

I love you. Bye, I gotta go.

Love you. Bye.

Hmm.

"Hmm." What?

I'm an expert in speech pathology

and psycho-lingual subtext.

Your wife is not fulfilled

in your relationship.

Wait, what?

Also, she wants to have a baby.

Where are you getting...

Calvin Joyner, Accounting.

Hello? Calvin Joyner, Accounting.

Calvin?

It's Bob! It's Bob!

Act natural.

Calvin. Is that you?

Are you there?

Well, hey. Well, yeah.

Yeah, wassup?

What up, Bobby-o?

Are you quite well?

I'm in big trouble.

Oh, God! I screwed up.

I screwed up big time.

We gotta talk. Can you meet me?

Sure. Yeah. Where?

Where do you want me to meet you?

I'm in the stairwell of your building,

two flights down.

- Stairwell?

- Hurry!

- He's in the stairwell, two flights down!

- Move, move!

Alert Charlie team.

Hold on. What's going on? Am I safe here?

As long as Bob Stone

is in the building, no one's safe.

Get back in your office now!

Okay!

Good news is we heard her, guys.

So, everybody, let's all just stay calm.

As long as... As long... Sh*t!

What the hell is going on?

- Relax.

- Hey.

Great job at

getting them out of here, Jet.

- Oh, Bob!

- That's teamwork!

Wait! How did you... What did you just do?

It's a tradecraft, buddy.

Spoiler alert...

I'm in the CIA.

Oh, no sh*t!

Hey, hey! What're you doing with my phone?

You about to turn my phone

into a bomb, aren't you?

I've seen Homeland.

So I know what they do.

Homeland? No, I'm ordering us an Uber.

Six minutes. That's kinda tight.

I'm gonna need your tie.

You're gonna... No!

- Your necktie, take it off.

- No,

- I'm not taking my tie off!

- Come on, Jet!

Don't do that. Don't do that.

That's good. Save it, save it, save it.

Save it, Jet.

- There we go, just right over here.

- Fine, take it, take it.

You can have it. Okay, that...

Listen to me. Listen.

Stop. Stop!

I need to know

what is happening, right now.

Okay, okay. You know what?

Moving too fast.

Bottom line, are you in or you out?

What are you... In or out of what?

Mmm-mmm. No time

for questions, just action.

- In or out?

- Okay, then I'm out.

I'm sorry, Jet.

Actually, you're already in.

Then why would you ask me?

Because I thought

you would go, "I'm in, Bob!"

And we would've had a really cool moment,

but you kinda ruined the whole thing.

I ruined...

Okay, okay, okay.

Listen to me right now.

Bob, I don't know what it is that

you're into but what I do know is that

I am really, really 100% out!

Do you understand that?

- God, you are good!

- What?

Calvin Joyner, president of the Drama Club

for a reason, folks!

- You're like a snack-size Denzel.

- Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

This is not a game.

I'm being serious right now.

I'm out!

Okay. Okay.

I can't say I'm not disappointed, Jet,

but if you're out, you're out.

Thank you! I'm out!

I'm just happy that we can communicate

openly and honestly.

I think it says a lot

about our relationship.

Wait, hold up, wait.

What're you doing? Oh, my God!

Here's the thing, though.

There's only one way for you to get out.

What's that?

You gotta get in first.

What is it that...

What-what! Take my gun, Jet,

we may have to kill some people.

- Come on, it's not gonna bite you.

- I will do no such thing.

I think you'll like it.

- I will not!

- You're gonna need it.

You're gonna need it! He's in here!

Jet.

He's in there! Bob's in there!

He's got a gun! He's got a gun!

- Down, down, get down!

- Move, move, move!

All right. I'm gonna need

your improv skills.

What?

- Hostage role-play, you ready?

- No!

- Sweet, let's go.

- No, I said no!

I said no!

He's got a hostage!

No!

No! Stop it, you gonna get me killed!

Don't shoot!

There we go, Jet!

What are you doing?

Oh! Shoot!

Don't shoot!

- Hang tight, Jet!

- No, I'm not doing anything!

Stop including me in your stuff!

Get him, Agent! Hit him with the stick!

Oh!

You're doing a great job, Jet.

Just give me a second, okay?

What the f***?

He got a coffee pot!

He got a banana!

Oh! Oh!

Freeze!

Jet, help!

What?

Golden Jet, help.

No, man, I'm not helping you!

Oh, sh*t.

- Give me the gun!

- Stop it!

- Stop resisting!

- No, let me go!

Let me go! I'm trying to give it to you!

Oh, sh*t!

- That was an accident!

- Don't move!

No, stop! Listen to me!

Let's go.

Wait, wait! Come on! What are you... Ah!

Come on, man!

This has gotta stop! Okay?

Sh*t!

Don't shoot!

- Oh, God!

- Show us your hands!

- Drop your weapon!

- Do it now!

Ow.

Sorry, Jet.

It's over, Bob. Give up.

You know I can't do that, Pam.

There's nowhere to run, Agent Stone.

Just like Caracas.

Uh, Caracas would've worked

if you trusted me like Calvin trusts me.

No. No.

That is not true. I do not trust him!

I do not trust him at all.

As a matter of fact,

this is a perfect time

for us to clear this up

especially in the middle of this standoff.

I shouldn't be here!

So I feel like me being

in the middle of this throws me in it.

So let me exclude myself.

- Hey, stay down!

- Don't move!

Okay, all right.

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