Central Intelligence Page #4

I'll always believe in you.

Yo, do you remember

those backflips you used to do?

The crowd would go crazy!

I was there, too.

I was, like, "What? How's he do that?"

How did you do that?

I don't know. I just did it, man.

Exactly.

So, do it now.

No, no. You're crazy! No.

What's that?

What're you talking about? What's what?

- Golden Jet!

- No, stop it.

- Golden Jet!

- Okay, stop it!

- Golden Jet!

- All right.

Golden Jet!

I'm not gonna stop until

you do The Golden Jet flip!

Golden Jet!

All right, everybody, settle down.

Settle down!

If the crowd wants a Golden Jet flip,

then they gonna get a Golden Jet flip.

You go, girl!

Oh, God!

That was so close, Jet.

Here, buddy. Come on.

They must have just waxed these floors.

That was definitely a first, man.

Oh, man, I am beat.

Oh.

Hey, Jet!

Man, I had a great time tonight.

Whoa!

You know what?

I had a good time, too, man.

I feel like I needed this, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Me, too!

Thank you.

My pleasure, amigo. Any time.

Hey, if there's ever anything

I can do for you, just say the word.

Wow. You really mean that?

Yeah.

I wasn't gonna bring it up,

but I might as well.

Lately, I've been having this problem

with my payroll account. And...

It's all screwed up, somehow.

You know, I was overseas

working for a while before I got fired.

So, it's kinda like

a forensic international account thingy

which, I think,

is kind of your specialty, right?

Um...

Yeah, no, it is.

I'll take a look at that for you.

You would? You would do that for me?

I've got the login info,

if you wanna crack open your computer,

we can do this!

Oh, you mean now?

- That's awesome! Yeah!

- Okay.

- Look at this!

- Hey, Bob...

Whoa!

Bob, you gotta keep your voice down!

Maggie's sleeping.

Wow.

This is a pretty serious international

account dossier you've got here.

Right? I just want to make sure

everything was hunky-dory.

Going to your router.

Now you're talking to me.

Bingo. I'm in.

Oh. That's great, Jet. Thank you, man!

I mean, just looking at it first-hand,

it kinda looks like it's a bunch of

off-shore escrow accounts.

These have been backwashed into

a series of domestic dummy accounts

for some reason.

I mean, the logs are all crazy, too.

You have China,

Syria, Iran.

This is an auction site, Bob!

These are bids. All of these.

This is hundreds of millions

of dollars in bids, right here.

And judging by this clock, here,

it says it's all gonna end tomorrow.

Whoa!

- What the hell? Why?

- What did...

- Oh! I'm sorry, Jet!

- Bob!

Jet, I'm so sorry! Oh, man.

- I'm all thumbs.

- It's my computer!

- I'm sorry.

- No! Please, Bob.

- I'm sorry, Jet.

- Leave it. I got it.

It's fine, Bob. It's fine. Just leave it.

The worst!

God!

Hey! What the hell was that on that site?

That didn't have

anything to do with payroll.

I don't know. I've never seen that before.

That was crazy.

Let's figure it out tomorrow

when we're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

What do you say, CJ? I am beat.

Hey, do you mind if I crash here?

Um...

No.

Let me go grab some blankets.

Hey, thanks for the jammies, Jet.

Okay, well, you can keep those.

Those are... Those are officially yours.

Yeah.

- All right.

- Oh.

You gonna sleep with your fanny pack.

Golden Jet! Yeah, it's my baby.

You need anything else? You're okay?

I can't believe I'm having a sleepover

at Calvin Joyner's house right now.

This is blowing my mind!

Okay.

Uh, good night, Bob.

Good night, Jet.

Me?

Yeah, you.

What the f***?

One second.

Hold on.

Uh, may I help you?

Mr. Joyner, my name is Pamela Harris,

I'm with the Central Intelligence Agency.

Have you had any contact with this man?

Uh, yeah, he's on my...

He's on my couch, sleeping.

Target's in the house.

What's going on? Hey!

Excuse me. Excuse me!

Target's fled.

Sh*t.

Target's on the move.

Excuse me! What...

Hello, hey! Excuse me!

- ...and voice chatter in the vicinity.

- Hello! Excuse me!

If he's in the wind again,

it's gonna be your ass. Go now.

- Hello!

- Alert Langley, asset uncontained.

Excuse me!

- Can I help you?

- Hello!

It's my house. Is something going on?

Well, Mr. Joyner, your sleepover buddy,

Robert Wheirdicht,

AKA Bob Stone, AKA Bob Golden,

AKA Bob Jet,

is wanted for murder and treason

and is presently in possession

of highly classified state secrets

which he intends to sell to our enemies.

What?

And if he succeeds, it's gonna spark

a chain reaction of geopolitical events

that most of our predictive models

place somewhere between

World War III and outright Armageddon.

So, yeah, I guess you could say

something is going on.

Oh, you mind?

Creamer's in the fridge. What?

I don't need it.

What I do need is information.

I need you to tell me

everything and anything

about your contact with Agent Stone.

- Agent Stone?

- Bob, your friend Bob.

Come on. Stay with me, please.

Okay, I think there's a misunderstanding.

No. No, he is not my friend.

Then why did he list you as his emergency

contact in all his personnel forms?

I'm sorry... He what?

Bob Stone has no siblings, or parents,

or family of any kind.

You are the only person he listed

in his personal references.

Oh...

That's crazy, all right?

I barely even know the guy.

Then why was he sleeping on your couch?

Because we went out

and had drinks last night.

Oh, so you went out drinking

with your non-friend?

Okay.

All right, let's... You're not...

Time out.

I'm pressing the time out button.

Okay? You guys barged in my house.

I pay my taxes.

So you're not gonna come here

and treat me like I'm the enemy, okay?

That's the first thing.

Now, if you want to get into facts...

You wanna talk about facts?

This is Facebook's fault.

Are you familiar with Facebook?

We surveil it.

He sent me a friend request.

That's how this whole thing started.

And you accepted?

Don't do that. Don't do that to me.

You give me a second. Okay?

Don't fire back like that.

First of all,

f*** Mark Zuckerberg, all right?

Now, I accepted because it was Facebook.

And it's rude when you don't accept it and I

don't know if the person on the other end

can see me not accept it.

That's why I accepted.

Are you nervous, Mr. Joyner?

Is it hot?

Are you getting hot?

Because I'm getting hot.

I'm not gonna take off my jacket

because that makes me look guilty.

And that's what you guys look for. Hmm?

Is this what a guilty man would do?

Look how comfortable I am.

I'm gonna lean up against this counter,

and I'm not gonna sweat.

I'm not gonna...

I'm not gonna look flustered at all.

I'm... Bring it.

What you want to know?

Hmm?

- Mr. Joyner.

- Yeah.

Bob Stone is a dangerous psychotic.

- You're lucky to be alive.

- Okay, listen to me.

Agent Harris, I don't know this man.

He's just a little weird kid

that I knew in high school.

He used to put Rice Krispies Treats

in my locker.

Sometimes I ate 'em, sometimes I didn't.

I wasn't in carbs back then 'cause I

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