Central Intelligence Page #7

- See you on the other side.

- See you on the other side.

Hey, Bob!

After he stole

the satellite encryption codes

Bob betrayed Phil.

No!

He killed him to cover his tracks.

And, after that, Bob went rogue.

This is all that's left of Phil.

Um, this is PornHub.

Oh, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. Sorry.

There you go.

Oh! Oh, God! Oh, I didn't see that coming.

Oh, man!

- It's a hell of a way to go.

- Okay, wait a minute.

Why wouldn't Bob just go sell

the satellite encryption codes himself?

Because in a black market

blind-bidding situation,

the buyer and the seller,

they don't know each other.

They need the auction site

to tell them exactly where to meet up

and when to make the exchange.

The transaction number

from the auction site gives them that,

which means Bob still needs you.

Which is why we find ourselves

in a little catch-and-release scenario.

You are the only one Bob trusts.

That's why we're putting you in the field.

The next time you're with Bob,

press this button.

We're going to have him cold.

Now, go take care of your marriage.

One more thing. Don't tell your wife sh*t.

All right.

I just don't know what's wrong.

I mean, the man that I married,

the person I knew in high school,

he was filled

with drive and desire. I mean...

We used to sneak off every lunch hour

and make out under the gym bleachers.

Like, that guy, back then,

- he wanted things, you know?

- Hmm.

Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.

I couldn't find parking.

Hi, no, no, it's okay.

We got started without you.

Babe, Calvin, this is Dr. Dan.

Hello, Calvin.

- Oh, sh*t!

- Oh, jeez. What's the matter?

- Holy sh*t! Get behind me!

- Honey... Calvin, what?

It's okay, Maggie. It's okay. Just relax.

This is a very common reaction

in the therapeutic process.

- It is?

- What?

It is. It absolutely is.

Calvin, this is a very safe place.

Please, sit down.

- This is not a safe place!

- No, no, no. Honey, it's a...

No, this is most definitely

not a safe place!

Me and my wife are leaving. Let's go.

No, no, no! You are going to sit down,

and we are going to go through

this therapeutic process...

- Yes.

- ...together, as a couple.

Um... Fine, fine, fine.

Sit down. Thank you.

Fine.

Okay, guys. Why don't we start off

with a little bit of word association?

Okay.

This is exciting.

I've heard this can

really open a couple up.

Uh, Maggie, I'm going to offer you a word,

and you respond

however you're moved to from here.

Okay.

- Black.

- White.

- Water.

- Ocean.

- Sunshine.

- Happy.

- I'm very impressed, Maggie.

- Really?

You're very in tune.

I'm very in tune.

Calvin, you're next.

I do not want to do this.

Relax, Calvin. There are no wrong answers.

Up.

Down.

Mmm.

"Mmm." What is that?

What're you writing in your book?

- It's fine. Don't freak out.

- Nobody's freaking out.

I just don't understand

the rules to the game.

Freaking out.

Let's switch gears for a second, okay?

Maggie, during lovemaking,

have you ever placed anything

inside of Calvin's anus?

What the hell did you just say?

Well, yeah, there was this one time.

- You remember? Game of Thrones finale.

- What are you talking about?

I was Khaleesi, you were Littlefinger...

- Okay, all right, stop. That's enough.

- Please, please, please.

Why don't we try a simple

role-playing exercise?

Calvin, you be Calvin

and I will become Maggie.

Mmm.

I'm confused.

It's called "soul gazing."

Stare into my soul

and I'll stare into yours.

- Maggie, this...

- Hey. Shh.

There's no talking, and don't look away.

Stare into my soul.

You are not my...

Shh. There's no talking.

Babe, I'm not staring...

Me and you. Stay with me. I'm your wife.

You are not my wife.

How could you hit your wife?

How can I... How can I what?

- You hit your wife!

- No...

- He hit me!

- Okay.

- He hit you!

- Okay.

You hit us!

- I'm swaddling you.

- I know what you're doing.

- I'm swaddling you.

- I know what you're...

Come here.

Oh, my God!

You...

You know what? We're leaving! Let's go!

This is not real.

It's real to me.

You know what, Calvin?

If you can't commit

to working on our marriage,

then you need to let me know.

Maggie, you...

- What!

- Oh, my God!

You're... Something's not right.

Come on, Jet, listen.

Come on, come on, Jet!

Now, I know things got

a little rough there at the end.

But the truth is, with all the heat

that you have coming down on you,

Maggie is definitely safer without you.

And, trust me,

when this whole thing is said and done

and you basically

save the entire free world,

she's going to forgive you.

It'll all work itself out.

It'll all work itself out?

Okay, Bob, you know,

I'm sick of playing games with you.

Where's the real Dr. Dan?

What-what?

Oh, my... Dr. Dan,

I had nothing to do with this.

He's fine. I'll get you some water

in a little bit.

- Thanks, doc.

- You know...

That's it. That is it.

That is it.

All right, Jet.

I see that Harris has given you

a button to push.

Relax, I would've taken the same deal,

too, if I was in your shoes.

Otherwise, she wouldn't

let you out of her sight, right?

It makes perfect sense.

But you're not going to

press the button, right?

You got the top-secret satellite codes?

Yes or no?

This ain't the time to bullshit me.

Okay, my ass is sweating.

I'm nervous. Don't bullshit me!

Of course not, dude. Hey, hey, come on!

Of course I don't have the codes.

Why would I go through

all this trouble, then?

I need your skill set, Jet, to help me get

the bank transaction numbers

to the winning bid.

We already know it's going down tonight

from the countdown on your computer.

Now, all we need is the "where."

And the bank transaction numbers

will give us the "where."

That's why I need you.

Your job gives you access to

exactly that kind of information.

Then we can get The Badger,

we can get the buyer

in one fell swoop.

And it'll all be over tonight.

Please, I swear.

You gotta believe me.

Can't you just get us

the transaction number?

Not when the money

originates from an offshore account.

When that happens, then only a certified

international banking official can access it.

But, it shouldn't be a problem.

We just give this guy

the offshore account numbers

that you gave me,

then he can give us the transaction number

without knowing that

he's committing treason when he does it.

Sound familiar?

Ouch! Low blow, CJ.

Hey, besides,

it's only treason if we're wrong.

Who's this mystery man?

It's Trevor.

Trevor.

This week just keeps getting better.

You know, I mean, Robbie Wheirdicht and

Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner in my office.

Who would've thunk it? Not me.

This is great, huh?

Talk about caterpillar to the butterfly...

What is this? P90X?

More like "P1,000,000X," huh?

Congratulations.

Hey, I, um...

I really appreciate the help, Trevor.

My client's all on me

to get this stuff handled right away.

So, you know, if we could...

Say no more.

It's my pleasure. I've been there.

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