Ceremony Page #9

battle the elements here.

So Big Sam has bravely

offered to stay back

and look after our women.

Let's go, men.

Up spoke the captain

of our gallant ship

And a fine old man was he

I'm pretty sure he doesn't

even think you're that funny,

which I happen to find to be

one of your best qualities.

The man also admitted to me

out loud that he hates reading.

And I know you think

I'm young and irrational,

and I am in some ways,

but at least I appreciate you

for your best qualities.

You know, I-I made

some terrible mistakes,

and I probably alienated

the majority of people

who were close to me,

but I did that because I love you.

And that's what love is, isn't it?

You could just give me a chance.

At least where we could live together

for an extended period of time,

where I could make some money

and buy you things,

and we could

develop hobbies together.

I could very easily spend

the rest of my life with you.

And I know you feel the same way.

I could be the father

of your children.

I should be the father

of your children.

There should be half of me

in your children.

Who are you talking to, Sam?

It's 6:
00 in the morning.

Oh.

I was talking to you.

How long were you, uh...?

You want to go for a walk?

You want to marry me?

I never had a chance

to thank Marshall

for saving Teddy's life.

Will you tell him for me

when you see him?

I don't think we'll be seeing

each other for quite a while.

Did I cause all this?

No.

I mean, yes.

Technically, it is your fault.

But I think I'm mostly to blame,

you know.

I'm sorry I snapped at you

earlier on the beach.

I was just a little emotional.

I'm sorry for being so insensitive

about your brother almost dying.

Did you and Whit

have a nice buggy ride?

Whit told me you used

to like dragonflies.

I never knew that about you.

I loved them.

That was just a phase.

Everyone has phases.

I don't.

When I love something,

I stick with it.

- I'm a very convicted person.

- Hmm.

I don't just throw things away

whenever I lose interest.

That's a very admirable trait, Sam.

You know, you don't have

to marry this guy, Zoe.

I'm too tall for you, Sam.

I'm serious.

Don't put yourself through this.

You don't understand.

I don't... I want to.

I don't believe you.

If you wanted to,

you would've done it already.

- There's a very good...

- I'm asking you...

You haven't even written

your vows yet.

Please, don't make this harder

than it already is!

Wh-why do you want

to marry Whit?

Give me one good reason...

I'll leave.

It's not that easy.

Well, it should be!

You used to tell me you didn't

even believe in marriage.

Things change.

People grow up.

- I've grown up.

- Oh, you've grown up?

Sneaking into my room

in the middle of the night barefoot?

You... go ahead.

I'm gonna ruin your wedding

in front of everyone, that's it.

How are you gonna do that?

I will tell Whit

every single thing about us

from the night in the rain until the...

Whit knows.

What does that mean?

Whit knows.

He's always known.

H-how?

Because he's not an idiot.

I don't... I don't...

I don't understand.

Why... why would he

let me stay here?

Because he loves me.

He trusts me.

Because you're not

a real threat, Sam.

I am in love with you,

and you love me!

And that's it! This is love!

That's not love! That is bullshit!

Right?

Answer me.

Are you in love with me,

or am I just dragonflies?

So that's it, then?

I'm just a phase?

I know all

about your tambourine player.

So you just love everyone, huh?

You just flit around and love

everything without consequence?

Wow, that's a big problem, Zoe!

And Whit lets you get away with it?

Shut up! Shut up!

How did you see this ending?

Quick, Sam.

Tell me your amazing plan.

What's our move?

Should I go upstairs

and pack a suitcase,

jump into your friend's station wagon

and run away with you

to a one-bedroom apartment?

I'm sure you can provide

for the little ones and me

with all the money you've made

from your wildly successful

children's stories.

Better yet, why don't we hop

on a whale together

and go live under the sea?

I can see you really

thought this through.

I can't be your mermaid, Sam.

I'm too selfish.

You mean "shellfish"?

You're just a child.

Really, really cool.

Oh, my God.

Film that. Right there.

The saddest boy alive.

Sammy.

Teddy.

You're here.

I'm here.

That would have been bad.

No, but I'm feeling a lot better, man.

The doctor said,

you know, stay hydrated,

so that's what I plan on doing.

Cheers.

How you doing?

It's the lowest point

of my life, actually.

Oh, come on, pal.

It ain't that bad.

No, it's pretty bad.

Look, Sammy.

I know it's hard, but, you know,

from what I've heard,

it's important to have perspective

in these moments

and just let it go, man.

Just let it...

You know?

You know, it's... it's easier said

than done, though.

Yeah, that's... hey.

Look, pally, how old are you?

I'm 23 and a half.

23? Just a baby.

Look at it like this.

In a couple years,

that old sun's gonna burn out,

and we're all gonna be dead.

And you're gonna be what, 27?

Right?

Now what, man?

Teddy, you're being

very profound right now.

Well, I'm sober.

You have a beer in your hand.

Come on.

Give these to Marshall.

Tell that boy thanks

for saving my life, all right?

He has such little feet.

Yeah, but he's strong.

All right, Teddy, I'll see ya.

Yeah, I'll see you, too.

Hey, Sammy.

Let's end this right, pal.

All right?

Come on, man.

The good guys sometimes win.

I don't know how good I am, Teddy.

Yeah, but you're young.

And you're good, pally.

Actually, I really needed that.

Thank you.

Po-o-o-w.

Mm, mm, mm

It's carbon and monoxide

The ol' Detroit perfume

It hangs on the highways

in the morning

And it lays you down by noon

Oh, papa hobo

You can see that I'm dressed

like a schoolboy

But I feel like a clown

It's a natural reaction

I learned in this basketball town

Oh, I forgot my vows.

- Here, come on. Let's go.

- But there's nothing...

They're perfect, Zoe.

Come on, let's go.

Sweep up

I been sweeping up

the tips I've made

I'm living on Gatorade

Planning my getaway

Detroit, Detroit

Got a hell of a hockey team

Got a left-handed way

of making a man

Sign up on that automotive dream

Oh, yeah

Oh, papa, papa hobo

Could you slip me a ride?

Well, it's just after breakfast,

I'm in the road

And the weatherman lied

Ooh, ah

La, be, do, be, da

Ba, ba, ba, ah, ah

Ba, ba, ba

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ba, ba, ba

Hi. Uh, my name is Marshall.

We met in the closet earlier.

We've been making eye contact

all weekend.

You have a ladybug in your hair.

Um, anyway, I was just...

Uh, thanks.

What happened back there?

I, um... asked the sad maid

for her phone number.

Did you really?

What did she say?

No.

It's her loss.

You find out

why she's so sad all the time?

No. She, uh... she didn't

speak English very well.

She's a real ponine, isn't she?

Hey...

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