Chain of Fools Page #7

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- Tell me about it.

When will the moose come?

Oh, bugger.

My God.

He's dead.

That was easy.

I guess our jobs here are done.

- You wanna get a sandwich or something?

- Yeah, sure.

I'd like to hear about that Senator Dove hit

right from the horse's mouth.

- You want to go to a show?

- Yeah.

- Why not?

- What do you think of Cats?

I love Cats! The songs, the dancing.

- And what about that makeup?

- It's the best.

After you, Doctor.

My friend is kind of shot over here.

We were at the shooting gallery,

and it kind of got out of hand.

Wait. Wait.

- We had some good times, didn't we?

- Yeah, we certainly did, buddy.

- Is he going to be okay?

- It's just a scratch. He'll live.

Ta-ta, now!

Sugar, that old man

must have really meant something to you.

- What?

- Come on, let's go to the airport.

Well...

Are you okay?

Stupid old prune juice.

But don't worry, I can make it to the plane.

No, we're not getting on the plane.

What?

Thanks for knocking me out.

- You came after me.

- I came after you because you're a criminal.

I thought you'd try to kill Bollingsworth

before leaving the country.

The number one rule of thievery:

No witnesses.

- Believe me, Bollingsworth is fine.

- Bollingsworth is dead.

But I know you didn't kill him.

His heart gave out.

However, you're still a fugitive

from the law.

Okay, I'll give you that one...

...but you've got to believe me,

I didn't kill anybody.

- Why should I believe you, Kresk?

- Because!

I don't know.

All I know is that Scottie

is behind this door, pooing the coins out...

...and that I love you, Meredith.

Please, don't say that!

And I'm not your Meredith anymore.

I'm Sergeant Kolko to you.

And I want to hear the truth, now.

Okay.

This whole mess started yesterday...

- ... when Karen and Avnet...

- You know Avnet?

Do I know Avnet?

We just talked to your ex-wife.

She didn't mention a body in

her apartment. I think she'd have noticed.

Yeah, that was weird.

Maybe Avnet isn't dead.

Right. Now you expect me to believe...

...that Avnet is running around the city

with a pair of scissors in his neck?

- Sergeant Kolko!

- What is it?

This stiff is a guy named Avnet.

We found him in these bushes downtown.

He has a broken back,

and these scissors in his neck.

A really nasty nick on his ear.

You're kidding me.

No. Regular Rasputin, this guy.

The kicker is, I found a letter in his pocket

saying Bollingsworth stole the coins.

- Let's get this guy to the freezer.

- I have to go.

Captain, what are you doing?

Sergeant, you should see this.

Okay, boys, I'm ready.

Can you tell us

how you cracked the Shiny case?

It was simple. Bollingsworth was

my prime suspect from the beginning.

It took for him and his partner

to slip up for me to nab them.

Sergeant Kolko, when are you going to do

another Playboy spread?

Someday, she'll make a great cop.

You've got the crooks,

where are the coins?

Yes, the coins.

- Well, I've given it a lot of thought...

- I know the answer to that one.

This man...

...Thomas Kresk is the answer.

He was on the bridge

when Bollingsworth jumped.

He saw Bollingsworth throw the coins

into the river before he jumped.

Anything else to add at this time?

Tomorrow morning, we'll have divers

in the water. Case closed.

Why don't we finish the interview

outside the building?

We can talk about my involvement

with inner-city youth.

I buy these kids

new basketballs every year.

What did you do that for?

It's going to look really weird

when we turn the coins in.

Well, maybe we shouldn't turn them in.

No, no.

During the time I've had those coins,

I've tried to kill myself...

...my oldest friend got shot,

my nephew is swimming in prune juice.

No, thanks. We're turning them in.

- What do you think brought us together?

- I hadn't really thought much about that.

The coins. You stole them,

I was supposed to catch the perp...

...but instead I fell in love with him.

- Who?

- The perp.

Who is the perp?

You're the perp.

I'm the perp?

Yes.

And now we have those coins,

and we can have a great life together.

No, we don't need the coins

to have a great life together.

It can just be me and you...

...doing stuff and laughing.

Yes, but fate wants us to have those coins.

Do you think it was a coincidence...

...that Avnet walked into your shop?

That Scottie swallowed the coins?

That you saved Bollingsworth...

...and that he and Avnet are dead?

That is a little weird, isn't it?

Yes, it is. Don't you see?

We belong together.

And those coins belong to us!

You're right.

We were meant to have those coins.

Holy sh*t! Automatic toilet!

Scottie.

Scottie?

Hey, buddy, what are you doing?

Sorry, Uncle Kresk. It just flushed.

It sure did.

So, that's the story.

I guess fate didn't want us

to get those coins, which is a good thing.

Meredith and I had each other,

and that's all we needed.

Right?

Hey, look at that.

I think we just caught dinner.

- You got one!

- Yeah!

Reel it in.

- We got him!

- Keep reeling!

Get the net!

Don't lose it, don't lose it! Hold on!

Ready?

Look at this monster.

Come on.

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