Chalet Girl Page #5

Drink bleach? Good idea.

Two capfuls. Bucket. Hot water.

You know what they say, don't you?

Tidy kitchen, tidy mind.

I just feel like I'm losing her.

People change. Change is good.

Where's her mum, then?

Sutton Row Cemetery.

Change isn't always good.

Two capfuls?

Yo-ho, snow-ho! (laughs)

- How's your arm?

- it's alright. it's getting there.

The doctor said it'll be fine

in a few days.

Oh. Wow, she can talk to me now,

right?

Now that Captain America

isn't calling her 50 times a day.

I need my training buddy. They started

building the course for the pro.

- You wanna take a sneaky peeky?

- No, I can't.

We've got corporate guests.

Big weekend.

One hour? You've got to do this.

Betty, you on a board,

it's where you're meant to be.

You've got so much talent

it's unfair on the rest of us, so why...

Betty...

Sorry, Mikki. I can't.

Bye.

- Thank you, Kate.

- Dad, her name's Kim.

Where's that one from last year, Dickie?

Really big tits, big arse?

Henry Goodwin?

He went bust, didn't you hear?

- You prick! The chalet girl.

- Milly broke her leg.

- What, skiing?

- Aprs-skiing.

You're too lean for my taste.

We'll have to fatten you up, love.

Yeah, a bit more cushion

for the pushin'.

- They tip well.

- They'd better.

We need Malcolm to come in first.

The others will follow.

- You worry too much.

- You don't worry enough.

- (Malcolm) Dickie, shift your arse!

- Right. Let's get going.

Georgie, you're coming with us

to dish up lunch?

Erm, actually I've come down

with something.

It's like a little tickle.

It's like... (coughs)

Oh. Well, you'd better come,

then, erm...

- Oh, Dad, for God's sake, it's Kim.

- Kim.

No, I should be...

Ow.

Fine. I'll get changed

and get my lift pass.

You don't need a lift pass.

How can you not need a lift pass?

Ah.

You ever been

in one of these things?

Yeah, we got one at home.

This one's pretty small.

- Do we pay extra for irony?

- No, the irony's free.

- It's the sarcasm you're paying for.

- (laughs)

Ironically.

Oh, wow.

- How long have you been on that thing?

- About eight weeks.

Jesus. Dickie...

You can fly back on the bird

if you're not sure.

- She's fine. Trust me.

- I don't want her holding us up.

The global financial meltdown

just happened to other people, right?

I warned you about sub-primes. Greed

is only good when it comes to lunch.

Speaking of which, what is this?

Special Austrian food.

Strudel, nudel and... kniidel.

I wouldn't mind a "canoodle"

with this one in fact.

Right, nearest the pin, lads.

it's 50s in and it's...

I'm going to go 32C.

It's hard to tell. The jumper

might be bulking her up.

Put me down for a 30B.

Miles off. I'm thinking 30D,

the Holy Grail of bra sizes.

Controversial. Go on, Kimmy,

put us out of our misery.

No, Kim, don't answer that.

I'm sorry. I was under the impression

that we were enjoying ourselves.

Unlike most women you know, Malcolm,

Kim keeps her clothes on for a living.

Oh.

It's alright.

You know what they say.

The bigger the chat,

the smaller the chap.

(Dickie laughs)

(Dickie) New game. Waistlines.

Malcolm?

(Malcolm) Fantastic weekend, Dickie.

Flattery will get you nowhere

but some fresh powder and a couple of

tasty chalet tarts will get you 40 mill.

- Dad, wait.

- Forgotten your hair-care products?

Actually, I was thinking about staying

a couple more days if it's OK.

Hey, do your thing.

Back for the weekend, obviously?

Yeah, of course.

I'll see you guys soon.

There's, like, 400 euros here.

Should think so too. Bloody perverts.

Jonny didn't ask us

to pay him back for...

Thanks for reminding me.

(clears throat)

- (Georgie laughs)

- Oh, and you. Yes.

OK, so that you can earn yours back,

I want to hire you.

Not like that.

- Need a hand? The meter's running.

- No.

That's three euros right there.

Well, it's your money.

Actually, it's mine now. Again.

Show me what's so great

about boarding. Let's get gnarled.

- Gnarly.

- Whatever. Sick, phat, ill.

You sound like a doctor.

- Holy sh*t, I'm a natural.

- Shut up, snoogles.

(Jonny) Move back into position.

- (Jonny) Watch this one.

- (Kim) Now concentrate.

- (Jonny) OK.

- Idiot.

I think you mean, "Concentrate, please,

valued paying customer."

- (Jonny) Oops.

- Owl

- OK, that was an accident.

- I'm not going to be your bit of fun.

- (Kim) Go on, then.

- Yes, yes, yes.

(Kim) Come on, loser.

I'll show you how it's done.

Yes!

(Kim)

So you have a pretty rough life, huh?

- (Jonny) Hideous, isn't it?

-I don't know how you stand it.

It's not all it's cracked up to be.

I've heard that having loads of money

can be a real let-down.

You think I could do

anything I want to?

Truth is, my dad's been saving a place

for me on the board since I was two

and my mother won't be happy

until I've married Chloe

and have nine children

with perfect teeth.

They've got it all planned out for me

and I'm, like,

"This is it? This is my life?"

No, nice try, but not quite.

Oh, angst. The rich kid's alternative

to real problems.

Sarcasm. The chalet girl's alternative

to real humour. I know I'm lucky...

"But I'm stuck in this caged existence

of vintage champagne

and luxury ski chalets

when I just want to be a pop star."

Rock star.

- Why don't you just do it, then?

- it's just not that simple.

- What?

- it's nothing.

No, what? Go on.

It's just a bit silly.

My mum always used to say,

"You've got brains in your head,

feet in your shoes."

"You can steer yourself

in any direction you choose."

Clever girl, your mum.

Yeah. We should get going.

(Jonny) Yeah.

(Georgie)

I hope you know what you're doing.

- Excuse me?

- I'm just saying.

The season ends, he goes back

to his world, you go back to yours.

What are you left with?

(scoffs) My world?

Where exactly is that? Pluto?

- No, that's not what I meant.

- Don't judge me by your standards.

You'd rather be with a rich idiot

like Nigel

instead of Mikki

who you are clearly in love with.

- I'm going for a beer.

- There's something you need to know.

I think I'm done

on the friendly advice for now, thanks.

It'd be better

if you just stay out of it, OK?

Do you want to talk about it?

A barman's cheaper than a shrink.

A beer's cheaper than a barman.

- I'm pretty cheap.

- Beer doesn't talk back either.

(Jonny) Hey. Are you OK?

- She told you where I was, then?

- I'm staying out of it.

Look, about us...

Night, Jonny.

What I really came to say was

I booked the helicopter again.

I need someone to serve me lunch.

You are so annoying.

I I feel sweet

J' Do you feel sweet?

.P It's amazing

J' I have no skin,

and I feel everything

.P It's amazing

I I've wanted this for so long

I Now the deed has been done

I We shall rise with the sun

J' Spend our time as one

I Now there is no sin in anything

.P it's life-changing

J' This feeling

J' This feeling

J' This feeling

.P It's amazing

J From now on

J From now on

J We are one

.P It's amazing

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