Chalet Girl Page #4

J We are not going back

I Yeah

Yes!

(phone beeps)

it's your birthday?

What makes you think that?

You want to look at anything else?

Bank statements, knicker drawer?

- Bertie's. Now.

- I'm can't, I'm saving.

I thought you were

just about to win $25,000.

I don't think you need to save.

Come on.

No, Georgie. I'm not going.

Betty in the house!

You owe me ten euros, G.

She bet me you'd never come in.

She says you were too much of a...

How you say? Chav? What is a chav?

Yeah, Georgie, what is a chav?

I didn't... His English is awful.

Buy yourself some vegetables.

Hey, Willy. This is Kim.

We already met. Tara says

you look sweet on the freestyle.

Do you know who that is?

- Yeah. It's Tara.

- Tara Dakides!

She won, like,

First chick in the world

to pull a backside rodeo, right, Willy?

Broke her back

in three places learning it.

Now she needs a painkiller

every time she rides.

- Insane. What is she doing here?

- The Roxy. Her big comeback.

She reckons this girl has game.

(laughs)

I taught her everything she knows!

- Alright.

- (Georgie) Yeah.

Happy birthday! Blow out your candles!

Whoo-hoo!

(yells)

(rock music)

J' Come away with me,

far away with me

I You will never know until you go

J' When will you go?

J' Fly away with me,

just leave the gravity

.P it's all just for show

J' When will you go?

I Just let go

J For such a long time

J We've been standing in line

I it% been so long

- it's just a few. Come on.

- But it's rule number one.

The night is young, and so are we.

Just a few.

(loud music)

- This is your fault.

- You are welcome.

Oh, come on!

(yells)

- Little Finnish lunatic.

- How long have you been together?

- Oh, we're not together.

- My balls are ice cream!

(girls shriek)

Argh. (laughs nen/ously)

Chillout.

Chill out, chill out, chill out,

chill out, chill out, chill out,

chill out, chill out, chill out!

(cheers)

Chill out, chill out, chill out,

chill out, chill out, chill out!

(others stop chanting)

You here all season?

- Jimmy's going home.

- Don't tempt me.

There's a broken coffee table in

the hall, the speaker system is kaput,

and vomit on the yucca plant.

(sighs) Excellent work, girls.

Just as long as nobody painted

a comedy moustache on the...

OK, look, just clean up the mess,

I'll replace the kit,

you pay me back later.

We'll take it out of your tips.

- But what's happened...

- They don't need to know.

I don't understand why they would

do this if they knew we were coming.

- You told them, right?

- Ja, sicher.

Jawohl. I say Mr Jonny come early

because of the good snow.

- No, no, no, he didn't!

- You didn't!

-I did.

- Awesome sauna, bro.

OK, erm... You do not get

to call me needle cock ever again.

And you, next time you have a birthday

party, do it at your own house.

Yeah, yeah, a few rounds of Twister,

a couple of games of gin rummy

and we're away.

- Great.

- Pop round if you're in the area.

- Maybe I will.

- Cool.

Er, breakfast at eight. OK?

Better luck next time, Scheisskopt

- Kim?

- Georgie?

You're really going to have

to win that competition now.

- Yep.

- (both laugh)

Come on, babes.

First day of the season.

See you later. Try not to organise

any mass raves while we're out.

I I?n not Mr Muscle but I can

be loathsome and I can hustle you

Look, Dad. I'll speak to you later.

I've really got to go. Love you.

Bye'

Come on.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Ill

Jesus, have you slept

with half the bloody resort?

- Only the useful half.

-I can be useful.

I I?n not Mr Muscle but I can

be loathsome and I can hustle you

J' I'm not Mr Muscle

but I can be loathsome

Is it true chalet girls

all have sex in gondolas?

Oh, yeah. Non-stop.

We are crazy for it.

Come on, can't people see in?

The windows steam up

if you do it right.

Yep. On this one you only have

- I still think I can do better.

- OK, sister present.

- Check out the fresh tracks.

- (Kim) Wow.

- The Yeti.

- The who?

Not really a Yeti.

Just some local mystery guy.

He's always first to put fresh tracks

down the powder.

- You know he's a guy because...

- Local mystery person.

He, she, they climb through the night,

ski down at dawn. Pretty amazing.

Amazing I weird.

I'd love to have sex in a gondola.

You girls want to come ski with us?

Bernhardt told me about this empty run.

I'm sure they have things

they want to do.

- I'm meeting someone at the snowpark.

- Worried you can't keep up, huh?

- (Georgie scoffs)

- We'll see about that.

(whoops)

(whoops)

(both laugh)

Hey. Over here!

Come on. Your turn to jump.

(car horn blares)

You OK?

Chloe. Chloe, wait!

No, Chloe please don't! Chloe.

(yells / thud)

(yells)

- Does it hurt?

- Of course it f ricking hurts, idiot!

OK, give her some more

of that strong stuff. Yeah.

(Chloe yells)

- I feel bad.

- So you should. It's all your fault.

I'm joking. it's really not.

I'll get her back to London

this afternoon. We know a good surgeon.

I'll back out in a couple of weeks

with some clients.

So I'll see you then, then.

Then.

(Chloe yells)

(men shout) Three! Two! One!

(all cheer)

- I need help.

- Me too.

Taking big jumps, lesson one.

It's complex, so watch close.

(whoops)

Jump into my arms, Betty!

Betty Boop? You there?

- (breathes heavily)

- Betty?

What's wrong?

Betty, jumping is easy.

Landing is the hard bit.

Come on.

- You ready?

- Yeah.

On three. Three!

(yells)

(both laugh)

(yells)

Yeah!

J' Chicken! Pay the chicken back back,

pay the chicken back

I Pay back the chicken back,

do the chicken payback

I Piggy! Pay the piggy back back,

pay the piggy back

J' Pay back the piggy back,

do the piggy payback

J' Monkey! Pay the monkey back back,

pay the monkey back

J' See the monkey, do the monkey,

pay the monkey back

Slamdownl Yes!

- My flying angel!

- Ow!

- Are you really going to go for it?

- Yeah. This girl is a podgy.

- She's a what...?

- Podgy. She's a real podgy.

- (phone rings)

- (Kim) I'm not podgy!

Oh, prodigy.

Hey, Nigel, my sexy beast!

How are you?

Nigel?

Hey, Kim! What's up?

Hey. Hey, Tara, erm...

Just... taking a break.

Well, like they say, if it were easy...

You guys ready? Let's go.

Right, come on, buster.

It's been a long day, Betty.

Take it easy.

(Kim) Hey, watch and learn, my friend!

Betty, wait up! it's too soon!

(car horn blares)

(yells)

Whoa!

(chopping)

I think that's enough carrots.

Why give up now

after you've worked so hard?

- Because I don't feel like it, OK?

- It's just a sprain.

This time. Then next time

I break my neck. Then what?

People die doing this stuff.

- I thought you needed the money.

- I do.

Maybe if I hadn't spent it

renting ski kit

and replacing stupid speakers,

which we haven't paid for yet...

Jesus, Kim,

we're meant to be having fun.

Hello, this is Kim Matthews"s phone.

Leave a message after the tone. Bye!

Cheer up, babe. It might never happen.

It has. It continues to.

Do you know what you need to do?

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