Chalet Girl Page #3

- Yeah.

- OK, come on, get up.

OK, in skateboarding, weight back.

In snowboarding, weight centred.

OK. Right.

- Knees.

- OK.

Turn with your shoulders,

not the knees.

You're a natural.

It's like skateboarding, huh?

(Kim) Whoo-hoo!

(laughs)

- That was pretty cool.

- That was nothing, Betty.

Let's get high.

UP-

Oh. No, I can't. I'm on the budget tour.

Betty... Follow me.

Hey, look. That's the biggest

snowboarding competition in Tyrol.

Every year I enter,

every year I face-plant.

But this year I rock it!

Hey, we'll enter together.

Why? Because I'm such a pro boarder?

Three months, maybe.

Maybe, maybe not.

Come on. $25,000. it's easy for you.

You're a skateboarder.

I pulled a 360 my first day on a board.

- (Kim) And broke your neck, right?

- (Mikki) No. My leg.

Just so you know,

I've given Jonny your mother's ring.

That's a coincidence. I've given him

one of her dresses. He'll look lovely.

It is not funny.

The marquee is pencilled for June.

It was quite funny.

Didn't you get the message?

You're joining us. Dress up.

I... did.

Don't worry. She made me change too.

Drainpipe jeans and winkle-pickers

aren't very this season apparently.

(Chloe) You were never a style guru.

(Jonny) I was.

Lippy.

Liner.

Lashes.

Accessories.

I want those back.

And... hair gum. Use sparingly.

Hair gum?

And like that, she became a swan.

So I used to be an ugly duckling, then?

Someone needs to learn

how to take a compliment.

- Ah, it all makes sense now.

- Yeah. I'm just back office.

- It's a shoelace.

- Er, it's bow tie.

No, it's a shoelace knot. Come here.

Didn't think you'd be the kind of girl

who knew how to tie a bow tie.

And here's me thinking

you were the kind of boy who would.

Big night for you, then?

There.

Licensed to kill.

- Or be killed.

- (laughs)

(Jonny) Right, who needs a drink?

- Oh, Georgie. What are these?

- Mini-burgers. Don't blame me.

They are sensational.

- Trying to get me drunk?

- Just helping you on your way.

Greasing your nuts, as it were.

- Rule three?

- Oh, shut up.

What are you grinning at?

Nothing. Just think

I'm starting to get the hang of this.

The cake's on the oven. The beef

is nearly done. And the mousse has set.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

- Wow. Did you hear what...

- Yeah, don't get used to it.

Get a fresh one of these.

Such responsibility.

Do I get a performance star?

- What?

- Doesn't matter.

Chloe, you look wonderful.

Oh, look. Looks like the new girl's

putting on pre-dinner entertainment.

Oh, dear, stand back.

Kim, wait. Kim...

(Caroline) What a waste. That's vintage.

Doctor's orders. The good news is,

you've already got the headache,

so you can drink as much as you like.

- I should go and help Georgie.

- I wouldn't worry.

- I think Nigel has her covered.

- Thanks.

- Hit the spot.

- Yeah, it should. '62 Dom.

- Dom?

- It's 500 quid a bottle.

next time.

Why am I here?

I'm stuck in a parallel reality

where people drink my monthly salary

every ten minutes.

You're right. We're aliens.

My mother has a tail. Did you see it?

Your mum is the scariest woman

I've ever met.

You want to know how she met

my dad? Air stewardess. Concorde.

Your dad was an air stewardess?

She's not that scary.

Well, look, I should be getting back.

Yeah, of course. Thanks for the Dom.

Yeah.

(Jonny) Can we talk about this later?

(Caroline)

She won't wait forever, Jonny.

(sighs) I feel so sorry for her.

See?

- Thank you.

- Everything alright?

Yeah, everything's fine.

We'll be back out in February.

See if you can figure out the whole

champagne-bottle thing by then.

- Yep, I will practise daily.

- Knock yourself out.

Trying to shake your hand,

punch you in the stomach. Not cool.

So, I'll put the photos on Facebook.

Well,... poke me.

Right. OK, girls.

This is for all your hard work.

Thank you so much.

And, Kim, you know you get

a lift pass too, don't you?

Just charge it to the chalet.

Unless you'd prefer the cash.

- Lift pass would be great.

- OK.

- Alright, let's go.

- It's a private plane. It can wait.

- It will. I won't.

- Desperate to get back to work.

OK, maybe I'll quit,

and next time we can hitchhike here.

A father-son adventure.

I like the sound of that. Bye.

- "Poke me"?

- Piss off.

Slut.

- 200-euro tip for one week?

- (microwave pings)

Are you sure you're just cooking?

I'll put it in the bank when I can.

You OK?

- Yeah. Solid.

- Huh?

I mean sound, yeah.

- Don't let them work you too hard.

- I won't.

(Kim) Right, Finland, let's do this.

Where do we start?

Well, in slopestyle, you are scored

on your tricks on the rails,

and the jump you pull at the end.

- You smell me?

- Yes, I smell you. Unfortunately.

Think about the run. Only the run.

Be the board.

Let's get tricky with Mikki!

(yells)

(whoops)

Right, come on, Kim.

(yells)

(whoops)

Yes! (whoops)

- Hey.

- Hey.

You do realise you're riding a beginner

board from, like, the 16th century?

I thought the 16th century

was the golden age of snowboarding.

Go to the rental shop

and pick yourself up a park board.

You'll have more fun on that, trust me.

And ask for Willy. Tell him

Tara sent you. He'll hook you up.

Stay safe out there.

Thanks.

Kann ich dir helfen?

Oh, I'm just looking, thanks.

Rentals are only 80 euros a week,

and half-price for staff.

Well, I'm staff. And actually,

Tara told me to come by.

OK, fine. 30.

Freestyle board, boots and helmet.

You get top end for that.

Cool. Deal.

J For such a long time

J We've been standing in line

.P And it's been so long

Whoo!

- Georgie!

- Hey!

Check it out! That's your buddy, Kim.

Whoo!

I thought you said she hadn't been

in the mountains before.

She hadn't.

I Far away with me

J You will never know

(Dad) Hey, Kimmy.

I've got my first interview tomorrow.

And, well, I'm being a good boy and

going through the statements, but I saw

that tip money hasn't gone in.

it's probably their fault

but I just thought I'd let you know.

And, hey, Kimmy, aubergines. Whoo!

My new favourite food. Who knew?

Alright, Kimmy, love you.

(alarm clock beeps)

- Didn't hear you get up.

- I haven't.

Level nine! Yeah, baby.

You really think

you're going to win that pro?

N-N-No.

(Bernhardt) Hallo!

Abend. Friulein.

- Hey, Bernie.

- What's with the towel, Bernie?

My name is Bernhardt. Mr Madsen,

he asked me to test the hot tub.

- Did he now?

- Jawohl.

There is, you must know,

room for more than just one.

That is so funny,

because Kim and I were just saying

how much we would love

to share a hot tub with Bernhardt.

- For sure?

- Yeah.

But the problem is,

we don't have our swimsuits.

Who needs swimsuits?

Yeah, Kim, who needs swimsuits?

You are so right.

Maybe when we're out there

you could give me a back rub.

And then we can, like,

frolic naked in the snow!

Yeah.

Ah! I understand.

The famous English humour.

I forget.

(yells)

Stop snowing!

I You cannot change this

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