Chalk It Up Page #3

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- Titude, titude...

- Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ahh!

Yeah, I think we have

something to work with.

Yeah.

- Uh, Courtney?

- Yes.

You still have

all your real gymnastics, right?

Oh, yes, but,

I'm a rhythmic gymnast now.

Oh, come on.

If ribbons are used in the event

and weird bowling pins,

then it's not a sport.

It's a circus act.

Hey, don't insult my craft.

- What's your problem?

- Hey, hey.

She said circus

not cirque Du Soleil.

Yeah, well, she better be talking

about the Ringling brothers.

- What's your deal?

- What's your deal?

This is an epic disaster.

It could be worse.

Ugh.

Or not.

- Where is everyone?

- I don't know.

The, uh, professor

didn't show up or something.

- What?

- All right.

Well, good morning, econ 463.

Based on a couple of observations

that you may have made already,

uh, I have hair.

I am dressed nicely.

No orthopedic shoes,

and I smell amazing.

I am not actually

professor Kelly.

My name is Chet,

and I'm actually your ta.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

But the professor

sent me here today

to explain to

everybody that, uh,

he's not actually

going to be teaching

and that is because,

uh, he was given

a pretty substantial Grant

for his research on the, uh,

economic correlation

between truck sales

and people who like

country music.

Which is super thrilling.

But I'm pretty sure

it's just because his daughter

transferred to brown... shh...

Didn't hear it from me.

No big deal. Um, but,

guys, nevertheless,

I am actually gonna be teaching

this class this semester.

Mom, you'll never believe it.

I found six girls to be on

the women's gymnastics team.

All I have to do is convince

the athletic director...

How's the search going?

Yeah, that's what

I'm telling you.

Todd will be coming back

once we establish eligibility.

I heard your

econ class petered

because the professor left.

Do you want to trade

to a business class?

- No, I...

- I say,

stay on those business majors.

Make dad and me proud.

I don't understand.

We've done all the work.

All he has to do

is approve the team.

I haven't even

asked for funding.

Maybe that's what

the problem is.

Nicely done, George.

Thanks.

What do you mean,

that's the problem?

Well, studies have shown

that people

don't value things as much

if they don't pay for them.

Thus, if you agree to give us

just three percent

of all athletic funds,

we can afford all of this.

- Such as these. -Yeah, caught

it when you walked in.

And, it looks as though

you've been receiving

from the university

for a women's team that hasn't

existed for nine years.

So, if you agree

to the women's gymnastics team,

then the NCAA

never has to find out

about those missing funds.

Sounds like you're trying

to blackmail me.

No, no, no, no, no,

I'm just saying,

you let me create

the women's gymnastic team

and the NCAA

never has to find out.

Okay, that's exactly

what blackmail is.

So it's a yes?

Did you hack into

the accounting fund?

- Ugh! Preston...

- Mr. Kelly.

I prefer the term

"perused."

So, I will send

the documentation here...

Okay, wait a sec, wait a second.

You're lucky

that I haven't

reported you to the Dean,

much less, the police,

for hacking into

the private files

of the university.

They won't find any virtual evidence.

I covered my tracks.

You're not listening.

You're lucky that your parents

are the number one

book providers

for this university,

otherwise, I would have

stopped this whole

gymnastics team charade

a long time ago.

Now let's also not forget

that your sorority

and their little

paper grading business...

Enlightened tutoring.

This is the athletic

department at Greene.

Fine.

I'll quit.

It's what everyone

expects me to do anyway.

Just ride on my parents

coattails and all that.

I can do more than that.

Yeah, this gymnastics team,

they may be terrible,

but it could've saved

your rugby team.

You're not listening, apple.

This is the athletic

department at Greene.

One of the most

prestigious academic

universities in the country.

Which means, they don't

care about athletics.

No one cares.

I get no funding or support

from the university.

I don't get any scholarships.

I mean, I'm lucky to stay afloat

with the alumni donations.

I mean, I guess I owe it

to the student athletes

to at least try.

I mean, playing rugby here

was some of the best times

of my life.

You played rugby?

- All, all that hacking...

- Internal searching.

And you didn't run across that?

The president of the university

is bent out of shape

because of this whole

athletic gender discrepancy.

He wants me to fix it pronto,

but, he's giving me no funding.

Stop.

I need to sign off

on everything.

I mean, everything.

And they'll be no

hacking or deceit or lying.

- Oh, I never lie.

- Yes, you do.

And if that happens,

I will create a volleyball team

faster than

you can say tarred...

And feathered.

You have very outdated

forms of punishment.

Okay, it's just a saying.

It's not...

You are not gonna regret this.

We're gonna work

so we'll together, Preston.

May I call you Preston now?

- It's still no.

- You're the best.

You're the...

Oh, my god.

Oh!

- Oh!

- You okay?

Oh, heavens.

Lightheaded.

Do you always

meet people like this?

Oh... Just you.

That means I'm pretty

special, I think, right?

Or just the wrong place

at the wrong time.

Or maybe I'm at the right

place at the right time.

And that's a great outfit,

by the way.

You look, you look great.

Oh, gosh.

Oh.

I've got to call Todd.

Hey, can I try something on you?

Uh, nope.

Those new?

I bought them

for the CIA interview.

I'm trying to break them in.

- Here, let me just...

- Oh, no thank you.

- What's up, apple?

- Todd, I've don't it.

You can come back.

The rugby team

is being reinstated.

I built the gymnastics team.

Mr. Kelly just called.

He told me he got the team back.

What? No, he didn't. I did.

My flight's in two weeks.

My dad wants me to stay

here and play in a game

for some, uh,

some international exposure.

Two weeks?

That like forever.

I know.

These Brits are so dry.

Except for you.

Well, can't you

come back any earlier?

I really want you to meet

the gymnastics team.

Nope, I got to go.

I'm a little busy here.

Cheerio.

Well done...

Well done.

Oh, please, come in.

Please, please, come in.

Cashew, my phone died,

and I was not about to walk

across campus with this.

Duh.

Oh.

Actually, could I try it

as a bracelet?

Whatever.

Come with me.

Can I change?

We know what's going on here.

We know we're not part

of your "secret" society.

You're just starting

a gymnastics team.

These are all Alpha females.

At Greene?

Who did you think you were

pulling a fast one on, apple?

Yeah, and all this

to get your boyfriend back.

How did you know that part?

- It's not gonna cut it.

- I have missed

7.59 hours

of studying for this.

Yeah, and I missed

a cake tasting appointment.

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