Charade Page #7

The EMCEE now circulates, forming teams, telling the

patrons to line up, making sure there is a woman next to

every man. REGGIE and PETER are the second couple in

their line.

Then the EMCEE picks up a basket of oranges and places one

under the chin, held securely against the chest, of each

man at the head of the line. Blowing a whistle, a signal

for the game to begin and the band to play, the men turn

to the women behind them and attempt to transfer the

oranges from under their chins to under the chins of the

women -- without using their hands.

(This maneuver can only be accomplished by embracing one's

partner passionately and firmly pressing the orange against

the partner's throat until he or she can grip it tightly

enough with the chin to turn and offer it to the person

next in line, where the process begins anew. However, the

slightest miscalculation, which can be brought about by

any number of human frailties -- haste, modesty, inhibition

or lack of co-ordination -- will surely result in losing

control of the orange so that it either falls to the floor

[where it can only be picked up by the chin] or it starts

to roll and slide from its proper place to some other,

less proper, spot on the human anatomy, forcing the man or

the woman to retrieve it -- again, with the chin only. This

latter is an activity which can prove extremely satisfying

to old friends, or even new friends who wish to become

old friends, but can only be a torment for total strangers

and/or the English).

91.VARIOUS SHOTS -- ORANGE GAME

Some of the couples in various states of confusion,

entanglement and intimacy -- all of them, naturally,

hilarious.

92.TWO SHOT -- PETER AND GIRL

It is his turn to take the orange from a very short, but

quite shapely young girl in a strapless dress (held up by

an abundance of cantilever). PETER 'takes' when he sees

the twin obstacles which might -- and probably will --

encumber the game but increase his worldly experience.

The contest begins: because of her stature he is forced

to move in low, making the ordinary embrace needed for

success difficult, if not impossible. Then, inexorably, the

orange starts to slip down the GIRL's front. Manfully he

goes after it.

93.CLOSE SHOT -- REGGIE

She is enjoying it thoroughly.

94.TWO SHOT -- PETER AND GIRL

Bending over backwards, in a sort of frontal half-nelson,

PETER makes a last valiant effort and voil�, grips the

orange under his chin -- amid much cheering and congratulations

from members of his TEAM.

Now he turns to REGGIE and they face one another for a moment.

PETER:

En garde.

REGGIE:

Lay on, MacDuff.

They go at it, working their bodies together to make it all

possible. Then, for a moment, the game and the onlookers

seem less important than their proximity. But, alas, they

are too good despite themselves and the transfer is

accomplished -- again with appreciative cheers from the TEAM.

REGGIE, with the orange now tucked firmly under her chin,

turns to the next team-member in line and is locked in an

embrace before she realizes her partner is LEOPOLD GIDEON,

the short, fat, balding man seen at the funeral and later

in BARTHOLOMEW's photo.

REGGIE starts to draw back but GIDEON holds her tightly.

Putting his chin around the orange he is able to speak

quietly in REGGIE's ear.

95.CLOSE TWO SHOT -- REGGIE AND GIDEON

Her eyes show her fright as he whispers:

GIDEON:

Mrs. Lampert --

REGGIE:

What do you want?

GIDEON:

Didn't Charles tell you, Mrs. Lampert?

REGGIE:

Tell me what?

GIDEON:

It doesn't belong to you, Mrs. Lampert

-- you do know that, don't you?

REGGIE:

I don't know anything.

GIDEON:

Mrs. Lampert, any morning now you could

wake up dead.

REGGIE:

Leave me alone -- !

GIDEON:

Dead, Mrs. Lampert -- like last week's news --

like Charles, Mrs. Lampert --

REGGIE (shouting)

Stop it!

96.CLOSE SHOT -- REGGIE'S AND GIDEON'S FEET

As REGGIE hauls off and kicks GIDEON full in the shin.

97.CLOSE SHOT -- GIDEON

He stiffens as the pain registers. Instead of shouting he

merely closes his eyes.

98.WIDER ANGLE

Including REGGIE and GIDEON and PETER standing by, as well

as some spectators. PETER comes quickly forward.

PETER:

Reggie -- what's the trouble?

REGGIE realizes that GIDEON no longer offers any resistance.

She steps back, leaving GIDEON holding the orange, foolishly,

under his chin, his eyes still closed. REGGIE stares at him

for a moment.

REGGIE:

He -- he was stepping on my foot.

99.CLOSE SHOT -- GIDEON

Slowly, his eyes open and tears stream from them, rolling

down his cheeks. He speaks while holding the orange.

GIDEON:

Forgive me -- it was quite unintentional,

I'm sure.

100.WIDER ANGLE

GIDEON turns to the woman behind him and the game resumes.

REGGIE (starting off)

Wait for me -- I won't be long.

She goes off toward the rear of the club and starts down a

flight of stairs.

101.CLOSE SHOT -- PETER

Watching her go, a concerned look on his face.

102.INT. NIGHTCLUB LOUNGE -- NIGHT

A small, dimly lit area with a door to the combination

men's-women's room and a 'phone cabin with a solid door.

The music and shouting from upstairs float down. REGGIE

comes down the stairs and goes to the 'phone, flicking on

the light and closing the door after her.

103.INT. PHONE BOOTH -- NIGHT

REGGIE takes a jeton ('phone token) from her bag and drops

it in the slot. Then she takes out a slip of paper (the

one given her by BARTHOLOMEW) and dials the number written

on it. She listens to it ring, then evidently he answers.

REGGIE (into 'phone)

Mr. Bartholomew -- it's me, Reggie Lampert --

listen Mr. Bartholomew: I've seen one of

the (she stops) Mr. Bartholomew? Can you

hear me?

She realizes she has not pushed the button which takes her

coin and allows the party at the other end to hear her

voice.

REGGIE:

Hello -- Mr. Bartholomew -- it's me, Regina

Lam . . .

Suddenly the door of the booth opens and REGGIE wheels to

look, slamming the receiver down as she does.

104.REVERSE SHOT -- 'PHONE BOOTH -- NIGHT

TEX PENTHOLLOW, the second man from the funeral (and photo),

the man in the corduroy suit and string tie, stands in the

doorway, his face calm, a hand-rolled but unlit cigarette

in his mouth. He has put one foot up against the side of the

door so she can't leave. REGGIE stares at him, terrified.

TEX:

Howdy, Miz Lampert.

REGGIE:

Wha-- what do you want?

TEX takes a book of matches from his pocket.

TEX:

You know what I want, Miz Lampert . . .

REGGIE:

No -- no, I'm don't.

TEX:

Come on now -- sure you do. An' you'd better

give it to me, Miz Lampert -- cuz I ain't

foolin'. No sireebob!

He strikes a match and lights his cigarette, holding the

burning match in his hand afterward.

REGGIE:

I don't know what --

TEX, without a word, throws the still-lit match into the

booth, onto REGGIE's lap. She beats it out frantically.

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