Charlie & Boots Page #4

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JESS:
Are you sure you've done this?

CHARLIE:
Yeah. Yeah.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You'd better be quick -

I think he's coming!

How you goin'?

- CHARLIE:
We need something else.

- JESS:
How about this?

CHARLIE:
Oi!

(ALARM BLARES)

Quick! Get in the car!

TRISTAN:
(YELLS) Hey! Hey! Hey!

(ALL LAUGH)

Tamworth - the country music capital

of Australia.

I can't believe it. I'm finally here.

Jess, you do know that Tamworth's

not like Nashville -

I mean, other than the music festival,

the rest of the year

it's just a nice little town, yeah?

It's a city, actually.

But yeah, I know.

I'm not stupid. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, wow! There it is.

Thank you.

Our pleasure.

- You gonna be OK?

- Of course!

Who knows - the next time you see me,

I might be performing in there.

CHARLIE:
We're counting on it.

- What's wrong with today?

- JESS:
What?!

Come with me.

Ooh! What are you doing?

Its not what I'm doing,

it's what you're doing.

- I can't do that.

- Of course you can.

You'll be fine. Come on.

JESS:
There might be people in there.

BOOTS:
Let's find out.

- WOMAN:
G'day.

- BOOTS:
G'day.

Just here to see...Trevor.

Yeah, I've got the tools.

We're all good.

Whoa.

Go on.

BOOTS:
(WHISPERS) Sit over here.

I might be a bit rusty.

I haven't played in a few days.

(PLAYS GENTLE INTRO)

(SINGS) # Well, you're

only as old as you feel

# And I bet you're feeling old by now

# The sun has gone out

# And you must find a way

to cope somehow

# And I will be here

until our dying days

# Nothing will get in the way

# 'Cause I would drop everything

like a lead balloon

# Just to see you

Just to see you

# I would jump in the sea

for a plastic bag

# If you told me

If you told me to

# I would follow you round

till my feet fell off

# That's what it takes to win your love

# 'Cause I would drop everything

like a lead balloon

# Just to see you. #

Yeah! Jess!

- (CHARLIE WHISTLES)

- BOOTS:
Whoo! Yeah!

Whoo! Whoo!

(CHUCKLES)

CHARLIE:
She'll go

a long way, that kid.

BOOTS:
Yeah. Yeah,

there's no worries about that.

CHARLIE:
Ah, Tenterfield.

Situated in the gently rolling hills

of northern New South Wales.

Of course, no reference to Tenterfield

would be complete

without a mention

of its most famous citizen -

world-renowned philatelist

Gordon "Stumpy' Adams,

who for many years

worked as the assistant manager

of the historic Tenterfield Post Office.

(BOOTS CHUCKLES)

CHARLIE:
And, of course,

it's here we find

the legendary

world's thickest thickshakes.

BOOTS:
They're good.

Good.

(PHONE RINGS)

- That's you.

- Hmm? Oh.

(SIGHS)

Oh, it's work.

Hang on a tick.

BOOTS:
Hello.

Yeah, g'day, mate. How you going?

Yeah, good.

What, now? Er, Tenterfield.

Nah. Still on our way up.

Yeah, sort of northern

New South Wales.

Yeah, I understand that but, er...

What?

Well, it's just something

I've gotta do, mate.

Well, I'll pick me stuff up

in a couple of weeks.

Alright.

Yeah, alright. Bye.

(TRAIN HORN BLARES

IN THE DISTANCE)

Everything OK?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

- No worries.

- (TRAIN HORN BLARES)

Have you heard from Therese lately?

Yeah, every now and then.

What did she want?

I don't know. Nothing, really.

- What was her problem?

- Dad!

Well, you did everything

you could do and...

Yeah, well, when something

happens like...

..you know, what did happen,

I don't know, people just

react differently, I guess.

Yeah, well, it's for better

or for worse, you know?

You can't just then go off

running around with...

Dad, that's not fair.

You weren't there.

You wouldn't let us be.

She wants to get back together.

What? Do you want to?

Nah. How do you go back?

Would you like to?

Nah, I can't.

You were so lucky to have Mum.

Yeah, well, nothing's perfect.

- What?

- Every marriage has its problems.

Are you saying you and Mum did?

Do you remember Gavin O'Connor?

The school principal? Yeah.

Yeah, well, when you was a kid, your

mum was sort of acting suspiciously,

staying out late at night

and always going to meetings and...

Hmm.

Anyway, one night, I followed her.

And she went to Gavin's place.

What?

Just about killed me.

Did you confront them?

Nah.

I was too scared of losing her.

I never told anyone that.

Not long after that,

Gavin moved to Sydney and...

Nah, she loved you, Dad.

I mean, she...she adored you.

Yeah, I know. I know.

You kids were like that.

CHARLIE:
Especially you.

You were a little bugger.

You had to be everywhere first.

You were always 10m out in front of us,

running and skipping

and tripping over things.

CHARLIE:
(LAUGHS) Oh, you were

a funny little bugger.

CHARLIE:
You OK, mate?

I'm gonna go for a walk.

CHARLIE:
You think

you'll ever have more kids?

BOOTS:
Yeah. I think so.

CHARLIE:
You should, you know.

You can either let what happened...

..beat you...

..or you can try and overcome it.

Hmm. Yeah.

You shouldn't wait too long.

Time waits for no man...

..and very few women.

Yeah, well, obviously

I've gotta meet someone first.

- Hmm?

- Yeah.

That shouldn't be too hard.

Sleep tight.

See you in the morning, son.

BOOTS:
Yeah. Goodnight, Dad.

- What are you up to?

- What?

I don't know. You're up to something.

Oh! I'm just having me breakfast.

Yeah, right.

Oh, excuse me, love.

My son here, Boots,

was just asking me

if I thought you were married or not

and I said to him,

"Go ahead. Ask her yourself."

Yes, I am. Sorry.

Oh, told you.

Aww! You'll find someone.

Yeah, thanks.

- (THUD!)

- Oooh, what?

What? What?

Oh.

Oh, excuse me, love.

Yes?

My son Boots here, that strapping

young fellow over there...

- Oh, what's your pleasure, love?

- Oh, just one of those.

There you go.

Thanks, darl.

Oh, all part of the service.

- Here's your change.

- Thanks.

And, um, this is our card.

It's got the phone number on it,

in case you need it.

Thanks.

BOOTS:
Look, Dad, all I'm saying

is I don't need help with the ladies.

Well, we both know

that's a load of rubbish.

Alright, well, put it this way -

I certainly don't need

your help with the ladies.

Hey, she gave you

her phone number, didn't she?

Yeah, but I didn't ask for it.

That's what I'm for.

No, Dad, that's not

what you're here for.

From now on, stay in the car

when we stop to eat.

(UNIMPRESSED) Oh!

So, it turns out I'm good

with the ladies. Who knew?

Eugh.

You alright, Dad?

Just get past this truck, son.

(TRUCK HORN TOOTS)

(HORN CONTINUES TOOTING)

- Dad?

- CHARLIE:
(WHISPERS) Boots.

WOMAN:
G'day, Wes, boys.

Dad?

Boots, here.

What the...?

Quick.

- G'day, mate.

- G'day.

Where will I find that great

hunk of spunk you were with?

My dad?

Your dad? Yeah, must be.

My dad? Now, let me think.

I mean, he couldn't be far away.

I mean, he was here, like, a minute ago.

My dad?

Hmm... Oh, hang on.

Oh, here it is. Found her. The cup we...

Oh, hello, love.

(BOOTS AND CHARLIE LAUGH)

You're good with the ladies?

Well, you know, I'm a dairy farmer

but that was absurd.

(BOTH LAUGH)

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