Charly Page #3

Don't you ever wonder

if there's something more?

Life is for fun.

Take the chances that it gives you...

...and make the best of it.

What else is there?

That's just it. I don't know.

Sure New York has its museums,

Broadway, two good baseball teams...

...but there was one thing it didn't have

and I wanted Charly to experience it.

Excuse me.

Yes, you.

Is the fishing any better over there?

We are having no luck over here.

Sorry!

Don't tell me it's a fish finder, too.

Time to move.

You know, you might have more luck

if you just snuck up on the little fishes.

You know, catch them by surprise.

It's just a tire.

That is no tire.

I got me a fish.

- What do I do?

- Set the hook!

Set it Where?

Call me Ishmael.

Look out for the rookie.

C'mon little fishy c'mon.

Come to mamma.

It's kind of little.

I suppose you know why

we've asked you all here this morning.

Because some of you have been

putting marshmallows on your hooks...

...the Utah Fish and Game Department

has asked me to speak today.

Clinical research just released

indicate that the fish in this lake...

...have 53 percent more cavities.

Do you know what this means?!

It means the UFGD

must now stand the expense...

...of sending a trout

through dental school!

Nice.

- Where are we going Sam?

- Away.

I embarrassed you, is that it?

Go ahead. Say it.

You embarrassed me.

No, Sam, this is where you stop rowing

and throw water on me.

It's what we call a water fight.

Can you say that for me, dear?

"Water fight."

It's one of those happy, spontaneous

things people do in this dull world.

You've got no sense of fun.

- Life is for laughing.

- I laugh.

No, you smile faintly.

No good. Too forced.

It's not spontaneous.

I laugh responsibly.

Could you define that for us, Senator?

After the work is done, if there's

time left over, I laugh and have fun.

Try again. Sam, there's never

any time when the work is done.

You have to laugh during the work.

What would happen

if this were suddenly to disappear?

- Come on, Charly.

- Would the world stop spinning?

Would your universe

careen out of space?

Very funny, now come on.

You want it? You'll have to get it.

You wouldn't.

Nice catch.

It's not my fault.

How was I supposed to know

you'd jump in the lake?

I tell you, I'm completely innocent.

You innocent? Look at this.

My whole life was in this thing.

See, that's the thing. Don't you find

that the teeniest bit twisted?

- May I help you, sir?

- Yes. Can this be fixed?

Don't suppose

you have flood insurance?

No, of course not.

Tell you what, let me just...

I'll go talk to my manager and

see if your warranty covers...

- Women.

- Pardon me?

Actually, only one. See if my warranty

covers Charlene Riley.

A woman, sir?

Charlene Riley, R-I-L-E-Y.

Sam. Sammy, this is Mommy,

do you hear me?

There she is now.

Sammy, this is Mommy.

The nice men in the store

let me talk to you on their big radio.

Sir, you're mother did this to you?

No, actually it was my Dad.

It all started with my Dad.

Sammy, if you can hear me,

listen carefully.

Mommy's sorry, Sammy.

I'll buy you a new toy,

just don't be angry anymore.

Remember when Mommy bought you

a big bag of popcorn last week?

Go to the popcorn machine.

Mommy has a bag of popcorn for you.

And Sammy,

Mommy loves you, dear.

Oh, poor little guy.

You have no idea.

Hi, Sammy.

What?

I said I was sorry.

Remember where we are.

Then you admit it wasn't my fault.

- Sir, your Palm.

- Keep it.

Is it always like this?

No. This is just a good day.

It's a very good day.

Hi, Charly and Mark. We're not in now,

but you can leave a message...

...unless it's important in which case

we prefer you keep it to yourself.

Your choice after the beep.

Mark, Charly. We need to talk.

Please call.

It's the third visit this week.

She's stopped drinking coffee

with me in the mornings.

I set up a private lesson

with the tennis pro last Sunday...

...and she found a reason not to go.

Come to find out later

she'd been to church, with him.

Maybe we should call Mark.

She doesn't seem too interested

in Mark at the moment.

- Does he know that?

- We can't let our imaginations run wild.

Soon she'll be back in New York

and forget all this nonsense.

- But Mark could make her forget now.

- Mark is an idiot.

But he's handsome, fun.

We should call him.

It wouldn't hurt to mention

she's asking about him in a casual way.

I am not going to encourage my only

daughter to marry some worthless...

Goodbye, Sister Riley.

See you in church on Sunday.

I'll need his number.

Mark, are you there? This is Edward.

About Charly, something's changed.

What do you think?

You haven't said much about the

Church since I tried to pray with you.

- Which church?

- Come on, you know.

Well I decided to be fair. We

Easterners are noted for our fairness.

I've heard about the Salem witch trials.

Not bad.

Stick with me and I'll make you a wit.

You're halfway there now.

I've read the Book of Mormon.

Nice technique.

You did?

You're not going to make us kneel

and pray in this boat, are you?

No.

Play along, I thought.

Take the lessons, go to Church,

and then leave them laughing.

It's all part of the Utah tour.

And?

I'm from New York.

The Museum of Natural History,

the Hayden Planetarium...

...the Metropolitan Museum of Art...

Do you know what I'm saying?

No, what are you saying?

I'm not like you.

I'm an intellectual.

So?

I believe it. Of all the rotten luck.

- You're kidding me, you do?

- Don't rub it in, Utah.

It's a miracle!

Have you gone

completely insane?

This is terrific!

What's wrong?

Nobody's going to understand this.

My parents will think I'm crazy.

Tell them to pray about it.

Okay, what got us into this whole mess.

I've been hoisted up on my own petard.

Oh, that can be painful.

I got hit in the petard

once playing baseball.

Oh, Sam.

What have we done to each other?

Charly, you're not doing this

because of my...

Personal charm and magnetism?

Something like that.

You are kinda cute...

...but no.

When I read that book...

...I feel something.

Want to know something else?

I'm praying...

...and someone is listening.

You're winning.

I'm cheating. But, don't tell your father.

It's how I subsidize my Social Security.

He's pretty worried about you,

they both are.

When you were a little girl...

...you said, "You wanted to run away

and join the circus," remember?

Your parents did everything.

They told you that midgets

were actually run-away children...

...and that they fed little girls to the lions,

but you didn't listen.

Do you remember what I did?

You took me to the circus.

And after you'd been there a while...

...you decided it wasn't what

you really wanted after all.

That's how I thought this

Mormon business would sort out.

But it hasn't worked out that way,

has it?

I may not agree

with all the Mormon ways...

...heaven knows if God's going to

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes