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Chasing Amy Page #17
- R
- Year:
- 1997
- 113 min
- 910 Views
HOLDEN:
The problem is sh*t like that. It was
one thing when it was just girls -
that was weird enough. But now you
throw guys into the mix - two guys at
once, no less. All that
experience...What am I supposed to
think?
JAY:
You think good; because now she'll be
all true blue and sh*t. The girl's
tasted life, yo. Now she's settlin'
for your boring, funny-book-makin'
ass.
HOLDEN:
Settling. That's comforting, Jay.
Thanks.
JAY:
That's what I'm here for.
HOLDEN:
I'm lust having a problem with all of
it I can't get it out of my head these
visuals of her doing all this sh*t.
And I don't know why I can't let it
go. Because I'm crazy about her, you
know? I look at this girl, I see the
future. I see kids. I see grand-
kids.
JAY:
You're scaring me.
HOLDEN:
I'm scaring myself. Because I think
so much of her, and then I can't get
over sh*t like 'Finger Cuffs'.
(shakes his head)
I don't know what I'm doing.
Holden looks out the window. Jay continues to roll his
joint. There's silence. Then...
BOB:
You're chasing Amy.
Holden's head snaps forward. He stares, wide-eyed at
Silent Bob.
HOLDEN:
What..what did you say?
BOB:
You're chasing Amy.
Holden stares, shocked. He looks to Jay, who's still
rolling his joint.
JAY:
What do you look so shocked for? He
does this all the time. Fat bastard
thinks just because he never says
anything, that it'll have some huge
impact when he does open his f***ing
mouth.
BOB:
Why don't you shut up? Jesus! Always
yap, yap, yapping all the time. Give
me a f***ing headache.
(to Holden)
I went through something like what
you're going through. Years ago.
Same kind of thing with a girl named
Amy.
JAY:
When?
BOB:
JAY:
What'd she 'Live in Canada' or
something? Why don't I remember this?
BOB:
What you don't know about me I can
just about squeeze into the Grand
f***ing Canyon. Did you know I always
wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?
Jay and Holden look at him. Silent Bob busts a move with
his hands.
BOB:
Hunhh? Bet you didn't know that?
JAY:
Just cell your f***ing story so we can
get out of here and smoke this.
BOB:
(to Holden)
So there's me an Amy, and we're all
inseparable, right? Just big time in
love. And then about four months in,
I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb
move, I know, but you know how it is -
you don't really want to know, but you
just have to... stupid guy bullshit.
Anyway she starts telling me all about
him - how they dated for years, lived
together, her mother likes me better,
blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But
then she tells me that a couple times,
he brought other people to bed with
them - menage a tois, I believe it's
called. Now this just blows my mind.
I mean, I'm not used to that sort of
thing, right? I was raised Catholic.
JAY:
Saint Shithead.
Silent Bob backhands him. Jay raises his fist as if to
strike.
BOB:
Do something.
(to Holden)
So I get weirded out, and just start
blasting her, right? This is the only
way I can deal with it - by calling
her a slut, and telling her that she
was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I
want to hurt her - because I don't
know how to deal with what I'm
feeling. And I'm like "What the f***
is wrong with you?" and she's telling
me that it was that time, in that
place, and she didn't do anything
wrong, so she's not gonna apologize.
So I tell her it's over, and I walk.
JAY:
F***ing a.
BOB:
No, idiot. It was a mistake. I
wasn't disgusted with her, I was
afraid. At that moment, I felt small -
like I'd lacked experience, like I'd
never be on her level or never be
enough for her or something.
And what I didn't get was that she
didn't care. She wasn't looking for
that guy anymore. She was looking for
me. But by the time I realized this,
it was too late, you know. She'd
moved on, and all I had to show for it
was some foolish pride, which then
gave way to regret. She was the girl,
I know that now. But I pushed her
away...
Everyone's silent Silent Bob lights a cigarette.
BOB:
So I've spent every day since then
chasing Amy...
(takes a drag from his smoke)
So to speak.
They sit there for a beat. Jay pockets the rest of his
dime-bag.
JAY:
Enough of this f***ing melodrama. My
advice - forget her, dude. There's
one woman in the world. One woman,
with many faces.
(to Silent Bob)
Get up, b*tch
(to Holden)
We gotta book. We're catching a bus
to Chi-town.
HOLDEN:
What's there?
JAY:
Business, yo. How many more of those
phat envelopes do we got coming to us?
HOLDEN:
I don't know. I don't know if the
book's going to be around much longer.
JAY:
Yeah? Good. I'll be glad as sh*t
when it's gone.
HOLDEN:
Are you kidding me? There's millions
of people out there that'd love to see
themselves in a comic book.
JAY:
I know. I spend every f***ing waking
hour with one of them. But it ain't
like us at all - all slapsticky and
sh*t - running around like d*cks,
saying... What's that sh*t you got me
saying?
HOLDEN:
Snootchie-bootchies.
JAY:
'Snootchie-bootchies'. Who talks like
that? That's baby-talk.
(slaps his hand)
It's a big world, g - but we're bound
to run into you again. Until then -
keep your unit on you.
HOLDEN:
I'll try.
BOB:
Do, or do not - there is no ay.
JAY:
(slaps him)
Knock it off! Get your fat ass moving
- we got a bus to catch.
(under his breath)
Jedi-b*tch.
Exit Jay and Silent Bob. Holden remains in the booth,
thinking.
MONTAGE - AN UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE
1) Holden sits at his drawing table, tapping his pencil
up and down.
2)Alyssa sits in a club, getting talked at by some women.
She's not present in the conversation.
3) Banky meets with Sloss at a restaurant Sloss shakes
the contracts at him, and Banky makes the "I know, I
know," face.
4) Holden stares at the picture Alyssa gave him.
5) Alyssa with her ear to the phone. She hangs up,
angrily.
6) Holden sits in the park that he and Alyssa walked
through. He's staring at Alyssa's yearbook picture. He
closes the book and sighs. Then, an idea hits him. He
jumps up and dashes out of the park.
INT STUDIO - NIGHT
Banky and Alyssa sit on the couch. Holden paces in front
of them.
HOLDEN:
I know you're wondering why I asked
you both here tonight, at the same
time, knowing that we have sh*t to
settle between us, separately.
BANKY:
I just figured you wanted to kill two
birds with one stone by telling her to
f*** off with me here so you didn't
have to go through the story again
later on.
ALYSSA:
F*** you.
BANKY:
Not even if you let me videotape it.
HOLDEN:
Enough!
(they both look at him)
I've been going through things, over
and over. And I dissected it all, and
looked at it a thousand different
ways. Banky - there's friction
between us for the first time in our
lives. You hate me dating Alyssa and
you want me to sign off on this M-TV
thing.
BANKY:
How perceptive.
HOLDEN:
Alyssa - you and I hit a wall, because
I don't know how to deal with... your
past, I guess.
BANKY:
That's a nice way of putting it. I'd
have said the whole double-stuff
thing...
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