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Chasing Amy Page #16
- R
- Year:
- 1997
- 113 min
- 910 Views
HOLDEN:
How the hell could you do those
things?!
ALYSSA:
Easily! Some of it I did out of
stupidity, some of it I did out of
what I thought was love, but - good or
bad - they were my choices, and I'm
not making apologies for them now -
not to you or anyone! And how dare
you try to lay a guilt trip on me
about it - in public, no less! Who
the f*** do you think you are, you
judgemental prick?!
HOLDEN:
How am I supposed to feel about all of
this?
ALYSSA:
How are you supposed to feel about it?
Feel what ever the f*** you want about
it! The only thing that really
matters is how you feel about me.
HOLDEN:
I don't know how I feel about you now.
ALYSSA:
Why? Because I had some sex?
HOLDEN:
Some sex?
ALYSSA:
Yes, Holden - that's all it was: some
sex! Most of it stupid high school
sex, for Christ's sake! Like you
never had sex in high school!
HOLDEN:
There's a world of f***ing difference
between typical high school sex and
two guys at once! They f***ing used
you?
ALYSSA:
I used them! You don't think I
would've let it happen if I hadn't
wanted it to, do you?! I was an
experimental girl, for Christ's sake!
Maybe you knew early on that your
track was from point 'a' to 'b' - but
unlike you I wasn't given a f***ing
map at birth, so I tried it all! That
is until we - that's you and I - got
together, and suddenly, I was sated.
Can't you take some f***ing comfort in
that? You turned out to be all I was
ever looking for - the missing piece
in the big f***ing puzzle!
(tries to calm down)
Look I'm sorry I let you believe that
you were the only guy I'd ever been
with. I should've been more honest.
But it seemed to make you feel special
in a way that me telling you over and
over again how incredible you are
would never get across.
She touches his face. He pulls back. She stares at him,
hurt and pissed.
ALYSSA:
Do you mean to tell me that - while
you have zero problem with me sleeping
with half the women in New York City -
you have some sort of half-assed,
mealy-mouthed objection to pubescent
antics, that took place almost ten
years ago? What the f*** is your
problem?!?
Holden's eyes are downcast. Alyssa waits for a response.
HOLDEN:
I want us to be something that we
can't.
ALYSSA:
And what's that?
HOLDEN:
(beat)
A normal couple.
Holden skulks off. Alyssa stares after him, and then
starts kicking and punching a car beside her, finally
slumping to the ground. She cries.
INT STUDIO - DUSK
Holden sits on the couch, alone in the dark. The door
opens and Banky enters. He stands there, sizing up
Holden's mood.
BANKY:
The girl?
Holden nods. Banky nods back. He stands there for a
beat. Then he sits beside Holden. He opens his arms.
Holden shifts into his friend's embrace and begins crying
on his shoulder. Banky pats his back. Pull back on a
man in pain and the comfort of a friend.
INT DINER - NIGHT
Holden sits alone at a booth. He stirs his iced tea.
OC VOICE:
Yo, look at this morose mother f***er
here..
Holden looks up. JAY and SILENT BOB stand above him.
JAY:
Smells like somebody sh*t in his
cereal.
Holden offers a half-smile. The pair slide into the
booth.
HOLDEN:
What took you so long?
JAY:
We were at the mall. You bring the
salad?
Holden pulls an envelope out of his jacket and tosses it
to Jay. Jay opens it and pulls out a thick wad of bills,
along with the latest issue of 'BLUNTMAN and CHRONIC.'
JAY:
Man, this likeness rights sh*t is more
profitable than selling smoke.
HOLDEN:
How'd a dirt merchant like you ever
JAY:
(hands envelope to Silent
Bob)
We deal to a lot of lawyers. Speaking
of which...
(pulls out a dime bag)
Little signing bonus and sh*t!
HOLDEN:
I'll pass. Take a look at the issue.
Silent Bob thumbs through the comic. Jay looks over his
shoulder, as he begins rolling a joint.
JAY:
Yeah. When you gonna get some p*ssy
in that book, man! Throw some super-
villain in with big f***ing tits that
shoot milk or something, and I just
drink her dry, bust some moves on
her...
(demonstrates)
...and then she has to f*** me.
(Silent Bob hits him)
F*** us.
HOLDEN:
I'll see what I can do.
WAITRESS:
What can I get you.
HOLDEN:
Nothing, thanks.
JAY:
Yo Flo - tell Mel to whip me up a
toasted bagel and cream cheese.
(to Silent Bob)
You want one too?
(Silent Bob nods)
Make that two. And kiss my grits.
Noonch.
(the Waitress leaves; to
Holden)
D'jever watch 'Alice'? That show's
good as hell.
(continues rolling)
So why the long face, Horse? Banky on
the rag?
HOLDEN:
When is he not? No - I'm just having
some girl trouble.
JAY:
B*tch pressing charges? I get that a
lot.
HOLDEN:
No. I'm just at a point where I don't
know what to do.
JAY:
Kick her to the curb. Girls get to be
too much trouble, there's always the
'band of the hand'.
HOLDEN:
Can't do it, g. I'm in love.
JAY:
Ah, there ain't no such thing. You
gotta boil it all down to the
essentials. It's like Cube says -
life ain't nothing but b*tches and
money.
HOLDEN:
Just what I needed - advice from the
'hood
JAY:
Who is this girl?
HOLDEN:
I don't think you know her.
JAY:
Come on man - I'm people who know
people.
HOLDEN:
You sound like Barbra Streisand.
JAY:
That's 'cause I got this tubby b*tch
playing her greatest hits tape in my
ear all the time. You should see him:
she starts singing 'You Don't Bring Me
Flowers', this f*ggot starts crying
like a little girl with a skinned knee
and sh*t. It's embarrassing. I got
the only muscle in the world with a
weakness for ballads.
(to Silent Bob)
You big f***ing softie.
(to Holden)
So what's this skirt's name!
HOLDEN:
I'm telling you, you don't know her.
JAY:
I ain't playing. Tell me her name,
Mysterio.
HOLDEN:
Alyssa Jones.
JAY:
Finger Cuffs?
Holden rubs his eyes.
JAY:
You're dating Finger Cuffs? Wait a
minute I thought she was all gay and
sh*t!
HOLDEN:
She is. Or was. I don't know.
The Waitress returns with the order.
JAY:
And you go out with her? Sh*t, man -
you're a lucky dog. She bring other
chicks to bed with you, get a little
of that filet o' fish sammich going
on?
The Waitress stares wide-eyed and offended at Jay.
JAY:
(off the Waitress' look)
Yeah - you know what I'm talking
about, baby.
(Waitress leaves; to
Holden)
So - four tits, or what?
HOLDEN:
It's not like that.
JAY:
Well what's it like then?
HOLDEN:
Right now?
(beat)
I don't know. I love her. But she
has a past
JAY:
I'll say. Stuffin' two guys, eating
chicks out. Yo - I heard one time,
she had this dog...
HOLDEN:
Eat your f***ing bagel already!
JAY:
(to Silent Bob)
Look at this touchy mother f***er
right here.
(to Holden)
So, if you're all in love with her,
what's the problem?
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