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Chasing Amy Page #15
- R
- Year:
- 1997
- 113 min
- 910 Views
HOLDEN:
What do you mean?
HOOPER:
Holden - don't even try to come off
like you don't know what I'm saying.
Men need to believe that they're Marco
f***ing Polo when it comes to sex -
like they're the only ones who've ever
explored new territory. And it's hard
not to let them believe it. I let my
boys run with it for awhile - feed
them some of that "I've never done
this before..." bullshit, and let 'em
labor under the delusion that they
rockin' my world, until I can't stand
them anymore. Then I hit 'em with the
truth. It's a sick game. The world
would be a better place if people
would just accept that there's nothing
new under the sun, and everything you
can do with a person has probably been
done long before you got there.
HOLDEN:
I can accept that.
HOOPER:
Honey, that almost sounded convincing.
Do yourself a favor - just ask her
about her past, point blank. Get it
out of the way, before it gets too big
for both ya'll to move.
(spotting something OC)
Oooh! 'Myra Breckinridge'!
Hooper trots off, Holden glances at the disc in his
hands. Pictured on it are two gorgeous chicks, barely
clad, making out. The title is 'Men Suck.. and so do
Girls - All XXX Action.'
On the ice, two teams clash, chasing the puck up and
back, checking galore.
In the bleachers, amidst a slew of fans, Alyssa watches
the game with a large degree of enjoyment. Sitting
beside her, Holden doesn't seem to share her enthusiasm.
ALYSSA:
Since most of these people are rooting
for the home team, I'm going to cheer
for the visitors. I'm a big visitors
fan - especially the kind that make
coffee for you in the morning before
they go.
(smiles at Holden; no
response)
That was a joke. A little wacky
wordplay?
HOLDEN:
What do you mean, 'visitors'?
ALYSSA:
Was I being too obscure? The kind
that - until recently - had no d*cks
HOLDEN:
So that was until recently!
ALYSSA:
Oh, yeah.
(shouting; to ice)
Hey - foul! Foul! He was traveling
or something!
HOLDEN:
So nobody bur me has stayed the night
at your place since we got together?
ALYSSA:
(beat)
Something on your mind, Holden?
HOLDEN:
No, I was just wondering,
ALYSSA:
If I've been 'faithful' or something?
HOLDEN:
Look, I was just asking.
ALYSSA:
(toucher his face)
Oh, sweetie. I only have eyes for
you.
(to ice)
CALL THAT F***ING SH*T, REF!! THE GUY
ON THE SKATES TOTALLY SHOVED ONE OF MY
GUYS!!
(to Holden)
I told you I was great at sporting
events. Imagine what a b*tch I could
be if I knew what was going on?
ON THE ICE - Things heat up between two opposing PLAYERS.
One snatches the puck away from the other and skates off.
Alyssa's very into the game. Holden shakes his head
HOLDEN:
That'd make Banky half right.
ALYSSA:
About what?
HOLDEN:
He said all the girls from North were
b*tches and sluts.
ALYSSA:
Really. I'm sorry - you two left high
school behind how many years ago?
(grabs his face and kisses
his cheek)
Can I put some of my books in your
locker?
(goes back to watching game)
HOLDEN:
(under his breath)
How about your yearbook.
ON THE ICE - The Player giving chase slashes the Player
with the puck.
Alyssa jumps to her feet.
ALYSSA:
(to ice)
IF YOU DON'T START USING THAT WHISTLE
I'M GONNA JAM IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR
ASS!!
(to guy next to her)
Right?
HOLDEN:
What's with 'Finger Cuffs'?
ALYSSA:
(sitting back down)
'Finger Cuffs'?
HOLDEN:
Yeah. In your senior yearbook your
nickname was 'Finger Cuffs'. What is
that?
ALYSSA:
It was? Sh*t, damned if I can
remember. I'd look it up, but I threw
all that sh*t our years ago?
(beat)
Where'd you see a North yearbook?
HOLDEN:
Do you know Rick Derris?
ON THE ICE - The Players skid into the corner where
Player One checks Player Two into the boards, hard.
Player Two scrambles to his feet and throws down his
gloves.
The crowd around Alyssa and Holden go wild.
ALYSSA:
Rick? Sure. We used to hang out in
high school.
(to ice)
PUNCH HIM IN THE F***ING NECK, NUMBER
TWELVE!!
HOLDEN:
Did you go out with him or something?
ALYSSA:
(eyes on the ice)
Date Rick Derris? No. We just hung
out a lot.
HOLDEN:
Just... you and him?
ALYSSA:
No. Me, Rick, and... um... what was
that guy's name...?
HOLDEN:
Cohee?
ALYSSA:
Yeah! Cohee Lundin. God, I haven't
thought about that name in years.
ON THE ICE - The Players square off. Player Two pulls
Player One's helmet off and punches him in the face.
Holden looks as if he'd Like to do the same to his
companion. Alyssa's into the game.
ALYSSA:
I remember those guys'd come over
almost everyday after school. They'd
bug my sisters, look for porno tapes
in my dad's closet, raid our fridge.
They really took advantage of my
ON THE ICE - Player Two yanks at Player One's jersey and
gut punches him. Alyssa seems oblivious to Holden's
anger, so enthralled with the action is she.
ALYSSA:
(starts laughing)
This one day... Rick pulled out his
dick and chased me around the house
with it! Right in front of Cohee! I
couldn't believe it! Guys are weird -
I thought the whole size hang-up made
you all terrified to show your d*cks
to each other?
ON THE ICE - Player One staggers a bit, then quickly
rights his jersey and lunges at Player Two, landing a
barrage of his own punches. Blood sprays across the ice.
Holden's face is reeeeeaaaally sour looking. Alyssa's
still in the game.
HOLDEN:
Rick pulled his dick out? Really?
What'd you do?
ALYSSA:
(looks him dead in the eye)
I blew him while Cohee f***ed me.
ON THE ICE - Player One delivers the kill shot, slamming
his fist into Player Two's nose. The blood shoots out
like a geyser, and Two goes down hard.
Holden stares at Alyssa, flabbergasted. The crowd around
them stares not at the fight on the ice, but the fight in
their midst, shocked. Alyssa fumes.
HOLDEN:
Excuse me!?!
ALYSSA:
That's what you wanted to hear, isn't
it? Isn't that what this little cross-
examination of your's is about? Well
try not to be so obvious about it next
time, there are subtler ways of
badgering a witness.
(to Bystander)
Am I right?
BYSTANDER:
(to Holden)
Jeez, even I knew what you were
getting at.
ALYSSA:
(gathering her stuff)
If you wanted some background
information on me, all you had to do
was ask - I'd have gladly volunteered
it. You didn't have to play Hercules
f***ing Poirot!
She storms away. Holden chases after her. The Bystander
watches them go.
BYSTANDER:
(to companion)
I told you these were good seats.
INT RINK LOBBY / EXT PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Alyssa marches quickly, pulling on her coat. Holden
catches up to her. We track with them our into the
parking lot.
HOLDEN:
So it's true?!
ALYSSA:
Yes Holden! In fact, everything you
heard or dug up on me was probably
true! Yeah, I took on two guys at
once! You want to hear some gems you
might not have unearthed - I took a
twenty six year old guy to my senior
prom, and then left halfway through to
have sex with him and Gwen Turner in
the back of a limo! And the girl who
got caught in the shower with Miss
Moffit, the gym teacher? That was me!
Or how about in college, when I let
Shannon Hamilton videotape us having
sex - only to find out the next day
that he broadcast it on the campus
cable station?! They're all true -
those and so many more! Didn't you
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