Cheaper by the Dozen 2 Page #2

---

but our place has...

There's stairs. They're fun.

So unload, camper dudes! Girls in

the north bunk room, boys in the south.

- Bud and Nora in the loft. Come on!

- Careful.

Hey, Bud, give the phone a rest.

We're on vacation.

Hey. How did Mad Dog like the trip?

Maybe the baby's

not gonna be a "Mad Dog", Tom.

But that's a classic linebacker name.

OK, OK, how about Dick Butkus McNulty?

- Maybe it's gonna be a girl, Dad.

- Donna Butkus McNulty.

- We got all vacation to pick a name.

- Someone's here.

- Mike Romanow. Good to see you.

- Good to see you.

Everything OK? Shouldn't be too

disorganised, only two renters this season.

- The lake's a lot more upscale.

- Thank Jimmy Murtaugh. Remember him?

- Yeah.

- He owns most of the lake now.

That's his place over there.

Oh. Well, good for Jimmy.

- Hey, remember Kate?

- Oh, hey, Mike. How are you?

- Good to see you.

- Good to see you.

If you don't feel like cooking,

there's a clambake up at the club.

- You can come as my guests.

- Guests?

Oh, yeah. Club's private now.

And renovated.

- Homeowners only. Put you on the list?

- OK.

- What's going on?

- Stop!

The Chiseller.

- Tell me those aren't my keys.

- Get him outside, OK?

- I remember how to handle this guy.

- I can't believe he's still alive.

- You know that thing?

- Hey.

- Don't hurt him.

- I got it. I got it.

It's a snap. Here you go. Hold still. Yeah.

Leave him alone!

Gunner! Stay! Stay, Gunner!

- Get him.

- Gunner, stay!

- Mom, watch out!

- Oh, icky, icky.

Don't light the fireworks.

- No explosives in the house!

- Nigel! Kyle!

Gunner, come back.

- What was that beast?

- The Chiseller?

A pack rat. Steals stuff and hides it.

- I'll get a trap in the morning.

- A humane trap, right?

You know what?

We got a fantastic first day going.

So let's clean up and unpack,

cos we got a clambake to go to! Clambake!

- OK, here we go. What is all this stuff?

- I'm going as fast as I can.

I should put more sugar in your diets,

get you moving.

You actually bought that shirt?

Every dad is entitled to one hideous shirt and

one horrible sweater. It's part of the dad code.

- Mark, you're on fireworks detail.

- OK.

- What's all that?

- Nothing.

Seatbelts.

OK, kids. You know the rules.

I'm underdressed. I thought this

was supposed to be a clambake.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

- Hey, guys. So glad you could come.

- Hi, Mike.

Good to see you.

Listen. Kids, food's downstairs.

Mom, Dad, the bar is there.

Have a great time.

- Best behaviour.

- Stick together. Keep an eye on them.

- Food.

- See you later.

- Lloyd, how are you?

- Good to see you, Jimmy.

There's Jimmy Murtaugh!

Engage me in conversation.

- We are talking.

- I know, but more intense so he won't come.

- Just hide your face.

- Well, that's a little obvious.

- Tom!

- Turn.

Oh, my goodness.

Look what the wind blew in.

- Hey!

- Jimmy!

- Tom. Look at you.

- How are you?

Wow, you're looking good. A little wrinkled

around the edges, but not bad for an old man.

- And you.

- Kate.

Kate. Still looking very hot for a mother of 12.

- What brings you guys back to my lake?

- Your lake? Your lake now?

Well, you know, I just have to buy Romanow's

place and one or two other properties.

And then I can keep

the riff-raff like you outta here.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

Tom and Kate, this is Sarina, my new bride.

- Nice to meet you, Sarina.

- Nice to meet you.

The parents of that family of pranksters

I told you about.

Jimmy's always been jealous cos we have 12

kids and he only has eight. A manhood thing.

Well, your 12 never beat my eight

for the cup, now, did they, Tom?

- Well, no, they didn't.

- Is that why you came back?

- Trying to knock my family off the wall?

- No. We actually just came for a vacation.

- Come on. Buy me a drink.

- Buy you a drink? Mr Lake?

Jake Baker? Eliot... Murtaugh.

No way. Dude, it's Eliot Murtaugh.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- That's Mike.

- Hey, Mike.

That's such a cool stick.

Can you bang any tricks?

Yeah. Check it.

Awesome!

- I'll have clams, please.

- Sorry, there's no clams.

We have some clam fritters.

So this clambake is clamless?

Then why not just call it a buffet?

- I feel like a stranger on this planet.

- I couldn't agree with you more.

So, Tom, I read you quit the head coaching

gig at lllinois Poly. What was that all about?

It took up a lot of hours and I wanted

to spend more time with the family.

- Kudos.

- Thank you.

- That's my word for the day.

- How fun. It's fun to have a word.

So, Katie, I guess with Tom at home changing

diapers, you're tearing up the bestseller list.

Oh, I only had the one book,

but I would love to...

Excuse me. Waiter.

Another Scotch, por favor. Anybody else?

- I'm fine.

- Hey, what about Charlie? Still playing ball?

No. He's living downtown

and he's working in a garage

to pay tuition

to the University of Chicago.

I did a guest spot on Monster Garage

back when I was acting.

And I just love

the whole engine-and-cars thing.

- So you're an actress. That's great.

- Thank you, Tom.

- You're welcome, Sarina.

- Kudos.

- How long have you two been married?

- Six amazing months.

- Right, honey?

- Happy anniversary.

There's Mike, Jake and Sarah. They compete

in skating contests on a regular basis.

- See you.

- Hey! Sarah!

That's good. You gotta start with

the small steps before you take the big ones.

- Mark Baker?

- Kenny the maniac!

Well, if it isn't my partner in crime.

- You're gonna get in trouble, Murtaugh.

- Only if I get caught, Baker.

Come here. I wanna show you something.

- Please don't get me in trouble like last time.

- You worry too much.

How are your kids?

I've got three at a private school

for gifted children in Lake Forest.

Two at Andover, one at Exeter.

Calvin's at Yale finishing up a field study in

particle physics. Generating a lot of interest.

Eliot was in Sports lllustrated.

Just won the snowboarding junior nationals.

- Slope style.

- Well, that was no surprise.

But I gotta say, Anne's still my superstar.

When she finishes her MBA at Harvard, she's

gonna work for me at Murtaugh Enterprises.

Definitely corporate material.

Something reeks.

Whoa!

Get out of the way!

Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!

Look out. She's gonna blow!

Cool.

OK, listen, mister, accident or not,

you'll be taking the garbage out,

or something you don't wanna do,

for 30 days.

So sit down, please. Everyone, quiet. For me.

Parenting comes down to one word - "push".

If you don't push, they don't do anything.

- I think it's a little more complicated.

- Oh, is it?

"Most went through periods in their life when

they worried about making car payments."

- Hey! Gotcha!

- Oh, yeah.

Nigel, leave Kyle's pants alone!

Look, no one was hurt. It's fine.

In fact, why don't you come over

to The Boulders sometime?

- The Boulders?

- Our cottage.

We would love to do that sometime...

Hey, kids, why don't you leave the fireworks

Rate this script:1.5 / 2 votes