Cheaper by the Dozen 2 Page #3

---

at home? You're all welcome at our place.

We've got Seadoos, lasers, wireless internet,

plasma screens, satellite TVs,

all the toys and whistles.

You know what? Actually, we're here

for quality time with the kids.

Come on, it's time to go.

We've done enough damage here.

- So we'll probably see you on the lake.

- Oh, sure. Another time.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice meeting you too.

Good seeing you again, Tom.

You too, uh...

- Kate.

- Kate.

Boy, you know, when we were kids,

I used to be so envious of Tom Baker.

He just had it all.

Well, I guess the Gucci loafer's

on the other foot now, isn't it?

- Everyone, straight to bed.

- What a moron.

- He's our son.

- Not Mark, he's a kid.

Murtaugh. "Seems like you

could use the word 'push'."

Next time we see him,

let's agree to ignore him.

- There's not gonna be a next time.

- I don't know if the kids will agree.

You think that water slide could compete

with the tyre swing I'm gonna put up?

Rise and shine! Daylight's burning.

It is breakfast at the Bakers', day one!

Come on, sleepy heads.

Is there a particular reason

that we're eating breakfast outside?

- Cos it's a beautiful day at Lake Winnetka.

- It's vacation, sweetheart.

And there's the rest of the clan. Come on.

Hey, guys. Hey, guys, look.

Hey! Welcome to the land o' plenty.

It still smells the same here. Like dead leaves,

unwashed animals and murky lake water.

- It's called fresh air, sweetheart.

- Watch the hat.

- Hey, guys.

- Come on, let's eat.

We're gonna need a forklift

to get Lorraine's suitcase outta here.

What have I been here, 30 seconds,

and you're already making fun of me?

Yeah, that was my foot.

- Is that suitcase just for make-up?

- Whatever, Butch.

Big breakfast, everybody, so you

have enough room for family activities.

- Family activities?

- Appleschmear. Fishing for Big Daddy.

The tyre swing, the diving board.

- I'm boarding.

- Kenneth has video games.

We were gonna use the Murtaughs' internet

to research for the academic decathlon.

Precisely. We need the extra hours.

Well, you got all vacation

to go over to that place.

We have all vacation

to do the family activities too.

Sarah, what about you?

You wanna hang out with Dad?

Um, actually,

I was gonna go boarding with Jake.

And... and Eliot.

Well, you know, I guess

we could do lake stuff another day.

Here we go. Scones.

Henry. Jake.

All right. Leave it there, the dog will get it.

(# "Someday" by Sugar Ray)

# Someday

# When my life has passed me by

# I'll lay around and wonder why

# You were always there for me

Did you nail down an apartment?

I'm just waiting to hear.

I'll bet you could

get a place in Chicago for half the rent.

Dad, I thought we made a deal.

That dock needs work.

- Where are you going?

- The hardware store. I'll fix this place up.

- You got a crazy look. What are you getting?

- Tools!

(# "Express Yourseif" by Jason Mraz)

# Express yourself

# Express yourself

# You don't ever need help from nobody else

Honey.

Honey.

OK. Do not stand up. Do you hear me?

Dad! Dad! Hello?

Dad!

Hey, kids. Tyre swing ready!

Tyre swing not ready.

# Well, it's not what you look like

# When you're doing what you're doing

# But what you're doing when you're doing

# What you look like you're doing

# Express yourself

# Express yourself

# They're doing it on the moon, y'all

# And in the jungle too

- Hey, Dad.

- Hey. Get bored over at the Murtaughs'?

No. We're going back after study time.

You guys are making time for your studies?

I'm really proud of you.

Not us, Dad. Them.

Mr Murtaugh forces all of the kids

to read and write two hours every day.

Lame. I know.

Who are these guys?

- What?

- There's no way I'm camping out.

Oh, yes, honey.

You can do it one night for Daddy. Come on.

- This doesn't sit well with me.

- I know what you mean.

Lorraine, are you serious?

Is she kidding?

That's not gonna fit in your tent, Lorraine.

I'm gonna make it fit, Dad.

- Hey, come on. We're making s'mores.

- I'll help you.

Actually, we're trying

to eat only organic food.

- We're trying to eat only organic food.

- Is that for the baby?

Come on. Baby'll love a s'more.

Party in your tummy.

Cool. The Bakers are having a campout.

Can I go over?

Why have a campout when you can have

a full-on fondue party right here, huh?

Sweet.

Charlie, you're worse than a kitten.

Babe, that's your fourth s'more.

My parents never let me have these.

They're amazing.

Do you think we should be

more strict with the kids?

No, honey. We give them love and guidance.

What else is there, really?

Every time we turn around,

they're in trouble, about to get into it,

or laying out a long-term plan to create it.

Dad, how come those guys

know how to camp so good?

- Hey. Hey! What if we sing a camp song?

- OK. Sounds good.

# There once was a man

named Michael Finnegan

# He had some whiskers on his chinnigan

# The wind blew them off

and they blew in again

# Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again

# There once was a man

named Michael Finnegan

# He had whiskers on his chinnigan

What do you say we give 'em

a run for their money?

# Finnegan, begin again

# Will the circle be unbroken

# By and by, Lord, by and by

- # Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again

- # There's a better home a-waiting

Come on. Stand up.

# There once was a man

named Michael Finnegan

# He had some whiskers on his chinnigan

Along came the wind and blew them in again

# Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again

# By, Lord, by and by

# Oh, yeah

- # There's a better

- # Oh, yeah

- # Home awaiting

- # Home awaiting

# In the sky, Lord, in the sky

This guy is so competitive!

# There once was a man

named Michael Finnegan

Boy, I love camping.

Yeah. This is fun.

- Good times. Good times.

- Good times, yeah.

Hey, kids. Didn't you love blowing Murtaugh

off the lake last night, huh?

Kids, huh?

Honey, they're all in the house.

- No.

- Yeah.

Hey.

Hello?

Happy?

They can't spend one night in the tent?

Hey, Tom.

Now, what does that show-off want?

What a day. Hey, Tom?

Boy, you have got this place looking...

Anyway, I see the troops are sleeping in.

They're already up.

They're out cutting wood and making biscuits

and blazing a new trail out back -

nothing out of the ordinary.

Yeah. Really impressive. Listen, the missus

and I are thinking of putting on a little spread.

Since the kids are getting along so well,

why don't you and the gang

come to The Boulders for brunch?

- Oh, actually, we have to...

- Cool, what time?

Mimosas at noon, on the dot.

Yeah!

(# "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by WAR)

Attagirl.

Take it away, honey.

Adios, amigo.

- lsn't he like the coolest dad ever?

- Oh, yeah. Cool.

# Why can't we be friends?

# Why can't we be friends?

Whoa, dude!

Awesome, dude.

Kids, you stay right here.

Welcome to The Boulders.

- Hey. Let's say hello.

- Hi.

Hey. Thanks for having us.

Rate this script:1.5 / 2 votes