Cheaper by the Dozen 2 Page #7

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- That's mine from, like, the '80s.

Careful. Careful.

Let me see that.

Look at this.

It's our old team flag.

We lost to the Murtaughs by two points.

Yeah, cos Mom fell in the sack race.

Daddy carried me all the way home.

Fond memories.

You know your father. He wants to be

a part of every single one of them.

That's why he's having

such a hard time letting go.

But one thing - no matter what Daddy says,

if he's in a good mood or a bad mood,

you're his favourite team, right?

And left. And right.

And left. And right.

And left...

Bakers.

What gives, Tom? Couldn't rally your team?

It's all I've got,

but it's enough to take you down, Murtaugh.

Are you kidding me?

You'll be lucky to beat the Doobners.

- We'll see. Come on, guys.

- We'll see.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 46th

annual Lake Winnetka Labor Day Cup.

Now, we have seven families

competing in ten events today.

The family winning the most events

will win the cup. Simple enough.

So let's get to it, all right?

Contestants, here we go.

OK, guys. Let's do this.

Hey, Dad. We're here.

Dad!

There's the team. There's the team.

You can't keep the varsity down.

And I promise never to go on a date

with you and Eliot again.

Hey, Murtaugh!

This is our year!

Let's see what you got, Tom.

- OK, Murtaughs.

- Huddling.

I've been a jerk all week,

but that's old news.

- Get loose. Don't let 'em intimidate you.

- Yeah!

You each have a special talent.

I want you to use it.

I don't care if we win or lose.

Just do your best.

OK. Hey, what are you doing?

Stop with the nicey-nice.

Here's the game plan. We'll step on their

throats and press until they stop breathing.

- Yeah!

- Get focused and stay with the game plan.

- What would that be?

- We don't have a game plan, but...

- Chin up. Charge the mountain!

- Exactly! That's the game plan.

OK, break on three.

One, two, three.

(# "Holiday" by Madonna)

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, go. Come on, go. Go, go!

Yes! Yes!

Yeah, Mark! Come on.

Go! Go!

Charge it, charge it, charge it!

Good job.

OK. That's OK.

- Bull's-eye!

- One for the Bakers!

Come on, Charlie.

- That's it. That's it.

- Go! Go!

Oh!

Go, superstar.

Yeah!

- Gotta be tough, Baker. Gotta be tough.

- What is this?

# We're gonna have a celebration

# All across the world

Out.

# It's time for the good times

# Forget about the bad times

# One day to come together

# To release the pressure

- Here we go, T om.

- I'm OK, Murtaugh.

Look out.

Not your sport?

Go for a jog.

Come on. Keep up.

Reverse.

Couldn't have asked for a better day, huh?

Look out!

Ouch.

Well, folks, for the first time since 1961,

our Labor Day Cup has ended in a tie.

The Miller family

will be taking third place.

And to determine second place

and our champion,

the Bakers and the Murtaughs

are going to have a canoe race

from here to the State Forest

end of the park and back.

And all family members must participate.

Mike, I got a daughter who's due in a week.

She can't do that.

Tom, maybe you can

work something out with Jimmy here.

Looks like you're gonna have to forfeit, Tom.

Well, uh...

She can't do it, so we're done.

And congratulations.

- OK.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm going, Dad.

You just pissed off

a severely hormonal pregnant woman.

Let's do this!

Nora?

- Are you sure?

- I need a life jacket.

- Go, Bakers.

- Come on, Murtaughs.

- Lose those shoes. They're fancy and new.

- What? Yours are the same.

I'm a mom. I need the height.

Take those off.

Mom. Mine tie my new outfit in together.

Stay on the north side of the lake.

There's less wind.

- Thanks, Murtaugh.

- You're welcome, Baker.

Let's go, superstar.

It's supposed to be fun.

- You ready?

- Ready.

- On your marks.

- Murtaugh!

- Get set.

- Murtaugh!

Go, Bakers! Go, Bakers!

Come on, we'll catch up. Let's go.

We're gonna win this, Murtaughs!

Come on. Put some muscle in it, Bakers.

Stroke.

- Stroke.

- Stroke.

Come on, superstar. Come on, Kenneth.

- Not this time, Murtaugh.

- That's what you think.

Stroke, stroke.

I think we're taking on water.

It's me.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Nora's water just broke.

Jimmy!

- Row! Row!

- Jimmy!

- Something's wrong, Jimmy.

- He's trying to pull a fast one. Now, paddle.

- I don't believe it.

- What if somebody's hurt?

Honey, we have a substantial lead. It's a trick.

- How can you be sure?

- I don't wanna lose. Now, paddle. Stroke.

OK, everyone, calm down.

- If we cut through, the road's not far.

- Can you get us there?

- Hello. Nature boy, remember?

- Let's go.

- Sit tight.

- Go faster.

- No, Bud. Stay with Nora.

- Row.

Annie, what are you doing?

What are you doing, superstar? Paddle.

I'm not a superstar, Dad.

I'm just a person

who's trying to have her own life.

And this is not my idea of living. It's yours.

Like my tattoo?

- Annie, get back in this boat.

- You'll have to win it without me too.

Eliot, don't you dare. Don't you...

- I'm outta here.

- Kenneth!

- Not cool, Dad.

- Becky, don't you...

- You've gotta lighten up.

- Daniel!

- We like the Bakers.

- Yeah, Dad.

Lisa! Robin!

OK. OK, that's it. You know what? You kids

are gonna be cut off if you don't, you know...

No more charge accounts. Think about that.

- What is wrong with you?

- I want to win!

You don't get it, Sarina. It's not me.

It's him. It's Tom.

He was always the popular one.

He was the one everybody liked.

Everybody. All the girls.

All the parents liked him.

- My own father even liked him better.

- That was 18 years before I was born.

Get over it. Look, your kids

are trying to tell you something.

And unless you wanna start looking

for wife number four, you'd better listen.

Now, paddle.

- Watch out.

- Are you sure you're OK?

- 50 cents says it's a girl.

- I'll take that bet.

- I'm in.

- Mom, Mom, Mom!

- I'm all right, I'm all right.

- I got you, I got you!

That's OK. I got my hips to balance me.

How are you feeling?

- Cramping a little.

- OK, how often?

Just a couple of times so far.

- I think I'm going to be sick.

- Pay attention to her!

Is she OK?

Yeah. She's delivering lakeside, but yeah.

Did you swim all the way here?

- Baker, what's going on?

- Nora's having her baby. We need a hospital.

- What can I do to help?

- You can help with Nora.

- Mark's on point. Right?

- I know the area really well.

Dad forced me to read topographical maps

of this area, for no apparent reason.

Hey, that's my boy.

Lead the way, Kenneth Murtaugh.

My dad has let me have

almost every animal in the world,

which makes me an expert on scat trails.

- That's my boy.

- Point us the right way, I'll find a scat trail.

- What's "scat"?

- Animal poop.

Cool, we're following poop.

OK, I'm a little competitive.

- I know.

- Go! Go!

- Come on, guys. This way.

- There's a road up ahead.

OK.

Yeah. We did it!

Come on, guys, this way.

Come on. Hurry! Come on, hurry up!

I'll take it from here. I got it.

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