Cheaper by the Dozen Page #2

- No, I did!

- I did!

- I did!

- All right, that's it.!

Hey, you two,

knock it off!.

Mom's losing it!

I'm losing it!

All right. All right. Come on.

Break it up. Break it up.

Here we go. Are you okay?

I'll give you candy.

- Nigel, Kyle, chill or be chilled.

- Sure. Listen to him.

Mark? Oh.

- So Nora's not coming?

- Well, not exactly. Here.

That is so Nora. We tell 'em

they can't sleep together...

when they visit,

so she moves in with him.

Honey, she's just trying

to have her own life.

- She's too young to have her own life.

- She's 22.

The same age I was

when I was pregnant with her.

Five minutes ago, she was

sitting on my shoulders...

pointing at cows

in Munger's Field.

- And then you blinked.

- Yeah.

- Enough with the blinking. No more blinking.

- All right.

You were checking me out,

weren't you?

Yes, I was.

You got a problem with that?

Twelve kids later,

and we still got the heat.

Whoo!

Come on.! Hit it.!

Faster, faster, faster.!

- Is that as fast as you can go?

- Is that all you got?

Pump 'em high!

Pump 'em high! Let's go!

- Pump it up!

- That's good! That's good!

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Way to go, Marcus.

- Way to go, boys.!

- Nice passes.

- Right here.

- Nice job!

Man, you're gettin'

old and ugly.

Shake.

Hey.

Hey, what are you

doin' here?

What, are you still too busy bein' the

pansy house-husband to read the newspapers?

That coach was 5-3.

That's doesn't cut it.

I'm trying to grow a program.

Hey, guys. Remember Shake?

We played college ball together.

Yeah, the hot dog.

Mom said it first.

We're having

adult time here, boys.

No idea what that means.

Well, it's this crazy thing

where grown-ups...

actually get to have a conversation

without being interrupted by kids.

- Sounds wicked boring.

- It is.

So why don't you run along?

Mom's right.

He is a wiener.

Sorry about that. Kate likes you.

It's just that,you know...

she had to have the biggest

stud on the team.

So she, uh, chose

the third-string receiver...

and got all this.

Yeah.

So, are you gonna

tell me why you're here?

Lincoln's a winning machine.

You think you can make

our old team a champion again?

- You mean coach?

- Coach.

Tom, what is it? Just tell me.

- Just-

- Okay. Wait.

Dad's covering with the machines.

- To the chute!

- Go, go, go!

My, this is big.

Shake Maguire wants me

to coach the Stallions.

- Get out!

- He offered me...

a fat five-year contract, housing

allowance, moving expenses.

Kate, we can finally get new furniture.

We can get a new car.

And get this. University employees

can send their kids to school for free.

Wow.

Oh. I don't know, honey.

A Division I coaching job...

that's a lot of pressure

and a lot more hours.

Yeah, but with all the kids in school next

year, we could handle more job pressure.

Yeah, but, honey, Midland is our home.

I mean, the kids' lives are here.

Midland has been great

for raising our kids...

but I never expected 'em

to sacrifice the way that I did.

You loved your childhood.

Yeah.

Except for this part-

the raggedy, hand-me-down part.

The Stallions head coach.

It's your dream job,

isn't it, honey?

I want this one, Kate.

Let's talk to the kids.

How do you think

they'll handle it?

We're gonna move!

Okay, everybody,

you know the drill.

On "three,"

you give me a big "cheese. "

Jake, do you have

to wear black?

Black works, Mom. Jesus, like,

has his funeral on Christmas.

- He died on Easter, Barbie.

- Whatever.

He was resurrected

on Easter, moron.

- Be quiet.

- Don't touch me.!

- Hey, hey, hey!

What's all the fighting about?

Exactly when did you plan

on telling us about moving?

- I'm not moving!

- Yeah, because I'm not moving, all right?

- I'm not moving.

- Charlie, Evanston is only four hours away.

- Beth can come and visit.

- This isn't just about Beth, Mom.

My whole life is here at Midland.

- Hello?

- Hi, Mom.

- Hi, Nora. You're on speaker.

- Hi, everybody.

Hank says hi too. So, you guys

are thinking about moving up here?

Yeah. You got room in that new

apartment for your big old family?

Just big enough for two, Dad.

How's your book going, Mom?

Actually, I just sent it to a friend

who's in publishing, so we'll see.

- Could we stay on subject, please?

- Beans's mother's buried here.

I'm not splitting them up.

They're family.

We can build a fancy new memorial

to Pork in our new yard.

- Yeah, like we could afford that.

- Actually, we can.

I'll be making enough money to do that,

get you out of hand-me-downs...

getJake those new skates, and get

that new car we've been saving for.

- But I have friends here!

- Honey, you'll keep in touch. And you can make new friends.

Quiet!

Now, look,

I know you're all scared.

Moving is a big deal. We're

very comfortable here. I get that.

And that's why I turned down a lot of

other coaching offers through the years.

But this is a job

I wanted since we left Chicago.

And, in fact,

it's more than a job to me.

Um, this is my team...

and it's my colors

and it's, um...

the Stallions.

And they're finally

calling my number.

And I want you to take this risk

with me, because if you do...

I promise you, we will be...

a happier and stronger family.

- You promise?

- I promise.

- I would feel happier and stronger if we vote on it.

- Yeah, definitely.

We should vote.

That's the only way to make it fair.

It's the only way to do it.

All right, we can vote.

But in the end, your mother and I are gonna

do what we think is best for the family.

- What's the point of even voting?

- I'm out.

- Let's get out of here. It's not even worth it.

- Come on, guys.

Hello? Still here.

All right, eight noes...

three yes's

and three maybes.

Not exactly a mandate.

Give me a pen.

I'm gonna change some of these.

Here we go.

- What?

- "What"?

Let's review, shall we?

Here we go.

"I'm so glad I found someone

whose dreams are as big as mine.

I love you. Kate. "

I always loved the way

you go for things, Tom.

Pedal to the metal, full-on,

all of it or none of it.

So we're doing this.

We're gonna do this.

We're doing it.

Yeah. And by the time we move,

the kids'll get used to the idea.

Say good-bye

to your mother, Beans.

Gunner, to the car.!

Come on!

I'm you.

Gunner, to the car!

I'm Gunner. Gunner, to the car!

Hey, Charlie. Do me a favor

and drive the Cutlass?

Thanks for ruining my life.

I don't wanna move.!

- You know what?

Everybody's going with us.

We're taking all your toys.

Okay.

Well, whoever said expressing

emotion is a good thing, I'd like to see.

Hey, this is our street.

Are you sure we're gonna

fit in here, Dad?

You'll have friends here

in no time, guys.

Here we are.

We are here. Everybody out.

I want everybody out.

Hey, slow down there, Gunner!

- Wait up!

- Hey, Kyle, check this place out!

Cool!

There it is- a 1920s classic.

What, did the Munsters

give you a good price?

All right, the twins share, but

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