Cheaper by the Dozen Page #6

- Why, after all, we should.

- It's the first time we've had all 12 together.

- No, Frank.

- Seven explosions

are quite enough in one night.

- Okay, Lillie. You're the boss.

- Well, what's that for?

- Dad, we've been talkir something over...

and we wondered, as long as we're all here,

if we couldn't have a family council.

Well, that's possible.

What's on your mind, son?

- We want to do it legally, Dad,

in regular meeting.

- Very good.

All right, everybody.

Come on. Let's take seats.

- No, Frank. I have to get the babies to bed.

- This won't take long.

- After all, if the children are interested...

- I'll take them up, Mother.

I, uh... I think they want you

down here.

- All right, dear. But what's all mystery about?

- You'll find out. Come, Jane.

All right, kids, take your places.

I'll be at your service in a moment.

Hurry up, there. Make it snappy.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Now, then,

are we all settled?

Now, the, uh... the family council

will please come to order.

Now, then,

what's the problem?

- Mr. Chairman?

- Yes?

It's been brought to our attention

that the assistant chairman... Mother...

intends to buy a new rug

for the dining room.

And since the entire membership will be

required to look upon and sit in chairs...

resting on said rug, we move that the council

be consulted before any rug is purchased.

- Second the motion.

- Me too!

That's a point well taken.

Any discussion?

We'd like to ask the assistant chairman

how much it's going to cost.

- $100.

- Mr. Chairman, I move

that not more than $95 be spent.

- Second the motion.

- Me too.

Well, this idea of saving five dollars

is a very laudable one. Let me commend you.

Now, all those in favor of spending

only $95 for a rug signify by saying "aye."

- Aye!

- Carried. Now, is there any further business?

Yes, sir, Mr. Chairman. I move we spend

the five dollars we've just saved to buy a dog.

- Second the motion.

- Out of order. Out of order.

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You children know very well how I feel

about having animals around here.

- But, Mr. Chairman, a dog would be a pet.

- William...

Everyone in the family could pat

him and I would be his master.

A dog would be a friend, Mr. Chairman.

He could eat scraps of food, and...

- Save motions.

- What was that?

And that would save motions

for the garbage man.

A dog would keep burglars away.

He would sleep on the foot of my bed...

and I would wash him

whenever he was dirty.

A dog would be an accursed nuisance,

that's what he'd be.

He'd be our master.

He'd eat us out of house and home.

He'd spread fleas

from the garret to the basement.

And he'd attach himself to me.

Ho, they always do. And I won't have it.

- But, Mr. Chairman, I promise...

- No.

No filthy, flea-bitten creature's

gonna share my bed and board.

- This whole idea is ridiculous.

- But, Mr. Chairman, I...

Lillie, don't you see

where this is leading us?

If we start throwing our money away like this,

the next thing they'll want is...

ponies, roadsters, trips to Hawaii.

You tell 'em

it's out of the question.

I think, dear, we can rely

on the good sense of the children.

- After all, a five-dollar dog

is not a trip to Hawaii.

- But, Lillie...

- Question.

- Vote! Vote! Vote!

No, no! This whole thing's out of order.

If I'd known what you were up to, I'd...

- Vote! Vote! Vote!

- All those in favor...

- Aye!

- Ayes have it!

No. No. I still say no. No!

- The ayes have it, dear.

- But, Lillie...

The meeting's adjourned.

A dog.

Mmm.

Dad was right.

There were 14 Gilbreths

in the house, but Mr. Chairman...

for thus was he christened... soon dispelled all

doubt as to which Gilbreth was his favorite.

In no time at all,

they were bosom companions.

- There was no end

to Dad's determination to save time.

- Ready? Go.

And in these experiments, large or small,

Mother was always at his side...

a partner in every enterprise.

- Stop. How long was that?

- Seven seconds.

Good. Now we'll do it

the other way.

- Ready?

- Go.

That was better... only five and a half seconds.

- By jingo, I knew it.

Bottom to top, that's the answer.

Along with Dad's,

Mother's fame as a psychologist...

and industrial consultant had grown also...

To such an extent that people came

from far and wide to solicit her help.

- Mrs. Gilbreth?

- Yes?

I'm Amelia Mebane.

I wonder if I could talk with you for a moment.

I'm very busy. If...

If you could tell me...

- Well, I'll only take a moment of your time.

- Well, won't you come in?

Thank you.

- In here, please.

- I understand you're very civic-minded,

Mrs. Gilbreth.

I believe in being

a good citizen, yes.

- Wort you sit down?

- Thank you.

- You lecture too, I hear.

- Occasionally.

- Now, just what is it you wanted to...

- Well, it's...

It's about birth control.

Birth control?

Yes. The National League

of Planned Parenthood...

is organizing a local chapter

in Montclair.

- I was told that you'd be interested.

- I?

I met a friend of yours on the train last night...

a next-door neighbor, I believe.

She felt that you were just the person

we're looking for.

She was sure you'd be willing

to cooperate.

Well, just how would you want me

to cooperate?

Why, by being the moving spirit

behind our Montclair chapter.

That's a pretty big job,

isn't it?

Oh, yes.

Yes, there's work to be done.

That's why I'm appealing to you...

a civic-minded career woman with a...

and this is most important... with a large house

where one can hold meetings.

Well, of course,

I'll have to consult my husband.

Oh, is he interested

in good works too?

Oh, yes. I think he'll be

very interested in this.

- Excuse me. I'll call him.

- Certainly.

- Can you come into the living room

a moment, dear?

- I'm awfully busy, Lillie.

But we have a guest, dear.

A lady from New York...

who wants me to be the head

of the local birth control organization.

Of the what?

Shh.

It's a pretty big job, dear.

Oh, indeed.

Well, in that case, Lillie,

let's go.

Mrs. Mebane,

this is my husband, Mr. Gilbreth.

- How do you do, Mr. Gilbreth?

- A pleasure, madam.

It's a great pleasure to meet

a woman engaged in such a noble cause.

Thank you. And it's a pleasure

to find a man who thinks it is noble.

Usually we find the husbands so much less

sympathetic with our aims than the wives.

You'd be surprised at some

of the horrible things men have said to me.

- Yes, I can imagine.

- And yet, if you could see, as I have...

relatively young women

growing old before their times.

Ah, a pity.

A great pity.

- Excuse me, Mrs. Mebane, just a moment.

- Why, of course.

- Why, how odd.

What's he doing, Mrs. Gilbreth?

- Whistling.

- Oh, yes, I know.

- But why?

- Oh, he frequently whistles.

- Uh...

- Gangway!

- Come on, Jackie.

- Hurry up, there. Pick up your feet.

Make it snappy. Where's Frank?

He's always late. Come here, Frank.

- Now, then. Are we all assembled?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes