Cheaper by the Dozen Page #8

- Martha, will you call

Anne and Ernestine, please?

- Yes'm.

There we are. Thank you, Jed.

- 'Twas no bother. How's the family?

- Oh, couldn't be better.

Good. Glad to see you

back, Mr. Gilbreth.

- Thank you very much.

- Be seeing you.

Right.

Don't poke it so hard.

Get down, Fred.

You want to break it?

- What is it, dear?

- A cable from Bleneim in Prague.

It seems the management conference program

is filled without me.

- Oh, Frank, really?

- Bleneim says he's still working...

but for me

not to count on it.

He's trying to let me down easy,

but I gather there's a general lack of interest.

I'm sorry, dear. But don't be too disappointed.

There'll be other conferences.

I suppose I was counting on it

too much, Lillie, but...

Well, no use crying

over spilt milk.

- You go ahead with dinner. I'll be right in.

- All right, dear.

Hey, see what you've done?

It's just a screw. Here, I'll fix it.

You better

before Daddy sees it.

There.

Now it's all right.

- Let me work it.

- Wait a minute!

Leave that alone, now,

children. Sit down.

Come along.

I'll take those,

Mrs. Monahan.

- Where's Anne?

- She's coming up, Mother.

Come along, dear.

We're rea...

Anne,

what have you done?

- Look at yourself.

- Oh, I have looked at myself, Mother.

Please don't ask me to look again.

I don't want to spoil my appetite.

- But your hair. Your beautiful hair.

- What's the matter with her hair?

Take that ridiculous wig off.

- It's not a wig. I've cut my hair.

- You've what?

You can kill me if you want to,

but I've done it.

I think it looks snaky.

Besides, it's more efficient.

- I'll bet she can fix her hair now in 15 seconds.

- Fix what hair?

- She hasn't any hair left to fix.

- Anne, how could you do this to yourself?

Herself? How could she do it

to an Airedale?

Well, I won't have it.

I want it grown back fast.

I'm not gonna grow it back. I don't care

what you say. I'm sick of being a freak!

- Anne, come back here. Anne?

- Let her go, dear.

After all, it isn't such a tragedy.

- All the girls her age

are bobbing their hair now.

- But I distinctly told her...

But you forget. She's growing up.

She's no longer a child.

She has to make some

decisions for herself.

- Nevertheless, I'm not gonna have her

defying me...

- Please, come and have dinner.

I'll talk to her

after we've had time to think this over.

- But, Lillie, if we start letting

the children do as they please...

- Please, dear, for my sake.

Well, all right, Lillie, but...

By the time vacation was over...

and we were on our way

back to Montclair...

Dad was reconciled.

My bobbed hair had been a bitter pill

for him to swallow...

but like all fathers

from the beginning of time...

he gulped and swallowed it.

- What's that?

- Oh. Hello, Daddy. Come on in.

You might as well know

the worst. I...

I bought these with my own money

and I'm going to wear them.

Oh, no, you're not. You're gonna

take them back where you got them.

- They embarrass me even to look at them.

- Oh, but, Dad...

Do you mean to tell me this is all

the underwear women put on nowadays?

But they don't show.

Besides, Dad, everybody wears them now.

If you don't believe me,

you can come and see for yourself.

That won't be necessary.

Oh, Daddy, please

be sensible. You...

You don't really mean I have to

take them back? Not really, do you, Dad?

- Do you?

- Well, all right.

But no silk stockings and high-heeled shoes.

I'm not gonna have a lot of doctor bills

because of foot trouble.

Thank you, Dad.

And while we're both in the mood...

you might as well know

it's a little late for that now.

I've been wearing them

ever since we came home from Nantucket.

- Now, Anne...

- Andy! Andy, telephone!

- It's a boy calling!

- A boy? Excuse me, Dad!

Come back here.

I'm not saying you can wear those things.

- Better hurry up before he gets away.

- Who do you suppose it is?

- Yeah, who could be calling you?

- Shut up.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Joe.

Fine, thank you.

What? Oh, I'd love to.

You will?

8:
00? Oh, that would be

simply wonderful.

Thank you for calling.

Good-bye.

You see, Dad? I told you

if I started dressing like the other girls...

- everything would be all right.

- Who was it, dear?

Joe Scales. He's asked me

to the senior prom Friday night.

- It's the dance of the year.

- Why, how lovely, dear. I'm so glad.

Who's Joe Scales?

Is he nice?

Well, he comes from an awfully nice family,

and he's a cheerleader.

- He's got his own car too.

- Two fine recommendations.

What about a raccoon coat?

- Oh, he'll probably get that next year

when he goes to college.

- Gee!

Come on. I've got to decide

what I'm gonna wear. It's formal.

- Just a minute. Friday night, you say?

- Yes.

Let me see.

Um, yes. That's all right. I can make it.

- You can make what?

- The dance, of course.

You didn't think I was gonna let you go out

by yourself with a cheerleader, did you?

Daddy, you wouldn't spoil everything

by doing a thing like that, would you?

- What'll he think of me?

- That you're a sensible...

well brought-up child

with sensible parents.

Honestly, Dad, don't you trust

your own flesh and blood?

Of course I trust you.

I trust all my daughters.

- It's that cheerleader I don't trust.

- Oh, no.

- Now, make up your mind to it.

Either I go, or you don't.

- Well, shall I tell him we'll go

in his car or ours?

- His car?

Ho-ho, I should say not. I haven't seen it,

but I can imagine what it's like.

We'll go in Foolish Carriage.

Come on, Lillie.

Oh, when you and the others

start going out...

I just hope you appreciate

what I've had to suffer for you.

- Come on, Joe.

- Okay, baby.

Is your pop ready?

- Great Caesar's ghost, Lillie,

it's Joe College in the flesh.

- And if he "pops" me once more,

I'll pop him right back.

- Shh, dear.

- I think he's kind of cute, in a vest pocket way.

- Cute? Heh.

He looks like what might happen

if a pygmy married a bob-tailed penguin.

And look at that car.

Well, don't worry.

You'll be riding in yours, not that contraption.

Thank heavens for small favors.

I'd better bring Foolish Carriage around.

Come on, children.

Come on.

Boy, oh, boy.

You look good enough to eat.

And I'll bet you do. Get it?

"I'll bet you do... eat"?

Wort you come in, Joe?

I'd like you to meet my family.

Sure, baby.

It'll be a pleasure.

Now, you children behave yourselves.

- Mother, this is Mr. Scales.

- Good evening, Mr. Scales.

- Hiya, Mrs. Gilbreth.

- I'm fine, thank you.

- And these are Anne's brothers and sisters.

- Hiya, gang.

- Hi.

- This is quite a family.

Yes. Will you excuse me, please,

while I get my wrap?

Why, sure, baby. On the double quick, huh?

- Wort you sit down, Mr. Scales?

- No, thanks. I'd rather stand.

We'll only be a minute.

- Well, just make yourself at home.

- Yeah, sure. Thanks.

- What's new, kids?

- Nothir.

- Um, did you ever see a William Tell tie?

- Uh-uh.

You didn't, huh? Well, you pull the bow,

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