Cheerful Weather for the Wedding Page #2

That young man seems to be

walking backwards instead of forwards.

L can't imagine how he ever gets anywhere.

He's a friend of Dolly's.

He was here all last summer.

Drove Millman mad, l expect.

- Red or white, Horace?

- Red, please.

- That came through loud and clear.

- What?

Prof, what's the anthropologist's

interpretation of the English marriage ritual?

Lgnore him.

L'd call this a ceremony, not a ritual.

Pardon me, Mrs Thatcham,

but isn't Canon Dakin going to say grace?

My. Bob?

- Amen.

- Amen.

Yes, it's a ritual all right,

complete with live sacrifice.

- Would that be Dolly or Owen?

- Lt's whoever says l do.

Can someone remind me

which Bigham twin is which?

Joseph says Tiger has a moustache.

L was told once that Tony has a tattoo.

Although, it's never been located.

Kitty, it is up to you to find it for us.

Joseph, please don't be disgusting.

Where is the bride?

L do so want to see the dress.

You know Dolly. She likes to take her time.

She didn't take her time

about marrying Owen Bigham.

Short engagements make for long marriages.

Just look at Nancy and David.

Yes, just look at us.

Or you and Roger, Hettie.

You didn't hang around.

That was a very long time ago.

Things were different then, of course.

Maybe one of us

should take her something to eat.

No, Joseph.

She doesn't want anything to eat.

Her stomach is upset.

- ls she all right?

- Lt's nerves.

Nerves!

So was the expedition to Greece

a great success, Joseph?

Just the usual stuff from dead

civilisations, dust and skeletons.

Ooh, skeletons? What happened to them all?

How much do you know

about the mating habits of female snakes?

Now, that's what l call a ritual.

The female of the species

is more deadly than the male.

Kitty, bring me that present

on the window seat.

L'd like to show everybody.

What is it?

Lt is a wedding present

from Dodo Potts-Griffith

just sent over by the chauffeur.

She made the whole thing entirely herself,

and it really is so very

cheerful and pretty.

- Yes, but what is it, Hettie?

- A lampshade, obviously.

Dear God.

L believe she learned how to do

this sort of thing from her own mother.

Specially made for Dolly!

Really? Why?

Thank you.

Mr Owen Bigham to see you, ma'am.

Mrs Thatcham, this is too dreadful of me.

L know this is the last place in the world

l ought to be at the present moment.

The fact is, Dolly has got the ring.

She took it to have it made smaller

at the jeweller's.

She promised faithfully

she would give it back to Tiger

but has apparently forgotten to do so.

What a perfectly Dolly thing to do.

Perhaps she gave it to Tony by mistake?

Well, Robert, go upstairs

and ask her what she's done with it.

- Me?

- Go on, Robert.

Please, one of you

do something useful for once.

- l'll go, Mrs Thatcham.

- Don't trouble yourself, Joseph.

Robert appears more than capable.

God. Bella.

So the animals are being fed in here.

Ls there anything left

for little old me, l wonder?

- Breath like a dragon.

- Well, thank heavens for my chauffeur.

L can never remember my way

through these tiny roads.

Bella dear, this is Dolly's Owen.

Ha! The groom is here before the wedding.

Priceless.

How do you do?

He's here to get the ring.

Dolly forgot to hand it over last night.

Well, Hettie, there

always has to be a drama.

Do sit down, Bella,

before you tire yourself out.

L simply cannot tell you

how marvellous my chauffeur is.

You know, he treats me like an empress.

- He's almost as handsome as the car.

- Ls he really?

- Which route did you take, Bella?

- Bob. Hello, darling.

L don't know,

but it was the one with the day trippers.

Where on Earth, l kept asking myself,

are they all going a week before Christmas?

- Lapland, probably.

- What?

- Lapland!

How do you put up with it, Hettie?

How did your chauffeur

put up with it, l wonder?

Just a little, David.

A little more.

Go on, man.

- Thank you.

- While you're there, David.

Tom, are you all ready for church?

The wedding is at 2:00.

2:
00! Gosh.

Lt's not too late to call it off, Owen!

Just don't tell Dolly that.

He's high as a kite.

Tom, why don't you go

for a walk in the garden?

Puff adders, were they?

Tom, take your father

out for some fresh air!

For God's sake, Bob, "puffing adders"?

Come on, Tom.

- Hello, Joseph.

- Owen.

- How are you?

- Wonderful.

Been up since 6:
00

and can't wait to get cracking.

So how long will you be in Argentina?

Two years to start with,

but after that, we can't be sure.

You don't think she's

lost the ring, do you?

No, no. lt'll turn up.

- No.

- Lt's for your own good.

People will think you're queer

or ltalian, which is worse!

Mind my vases!

Sorry to interrupt. Do you have the ring?

She says it's in here somewhere,

but she's not sure where she put it.

- Robert!

- Right.

Everyone please remain calm

and search the area nearest you.

L'd search the servants if l were you.

Good idea. Let's start with your chauffeur.

L'm sure you can get her another ring.

- What on Earth is going on?

- The groom is here. The ring is missing.

- What's next?

- The bride will disappear.

L wish someone would make me disappear.

So do l.

Are you ready to be important?

Am l going to be important?

Well, you've got to walk Dolly

down the aisle, haven't you?

And what about you?

Pure wallflower.

Which is just the way l like it.

Joseph, since you are here,

can you please join in like everyone else?

L'm praying to St Anthony.

Think l'll join you.

Patron saint of lost articles.

And missing persons.

Eureka! l've found it.

Thank heaven!

Well done, Evie!

St Anthony never lets me down.

Come on, darling, let's

get you to the church.

- Yes.

- All's well.

Your prayers were answered.

Well, there's a first time for everything.

- You planning to bag the canon, Evie?

- Don't be ridiculous.

- A widower with two obstreperous sons.

- A rich widower.

Lt doesn't bear thinking about.

Might be fun for a while, though.

Ls that what Dolly's thinking?

- Why is she avoiding me?

- She's avoiding all of us, darling.

L'm not sure why she asked me.

And now that l'm here,

l don't know why l came.

You came because you wanted to,

and because Dolly wanted you to be here.

- She's got a funny way of showing it.

- So have you, Joseph.

Lf you're just doing this to be difficult,

l'd get out while you still can.

That's exactly what l want to tell Dolly.

Whatever next?

Evelyn, my dear, can you bring

Dolly's little bouquet to her?

- lt's somewhere in the kitchen.

- Of course.

Time is ticking by, everyone.

Very, very slowly.

There you are, Horace!

Such a beautiful day for Dolly's wedding!

Have l missed it?

L've put you in the Chinese room,

- and you have a very nice view from there.

- How lovely.

The Chinese room?

Mum, how many more people

are to go into the Chinese room?

- Nancy, can l borrow you this afternoon?

- What is it, Hettie?

Will you keep an eye open for Dolly

just in case l'm not around to watch her?

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