Chef Page #10

If you can pronounce

it, we can make it.

Arroz con pollo, yuca frita.

OK, four media noches coming up.

Cubano.

- You got it?

- I got four ready over here.

- Yucca fries, plantas was you?

- Yeah.

Here we go. Thank you.

Thanks for your patience.

- Who needs a little bit more?

- We got four Cubano all day.

- Four Cubano all day.

- Hey, this one's not ready, OK?

- I'm buttering that one.

- I got it. I got it.

- Crap!

- Yucca!

- One frites for you.

- I burned my finger.

- You OK?

- Mm-hm.

- You wanna keep going or stop?

- Keep going.

- OK, keep going, keep going.

- Go, little man.

Help him with that banana

ketchup and yucca fries.

Go with the chile,

the chile vinegar.

- Good job.

- Hold on one second.

- It's coming.

- Is that enough?

That's perfect. Here you go.

- How's the yucca frita?

- It's perfect.

Step aside, step aside.

Thank you.

Who's in charge here?

Um, uh, me. What do you need, sir?

- I need to talk to you on the side.

- OK.

- On the side, please. Right away.

- I got you. I got it, I got it.

Alright, alright. Relax, relax.

Keep it down. Keep it down.

Hang on, guys. Come on.

Hang on, hang on.

Hang on, hang on.

- Need to see a permit.

- Permit, yeah, we got it.

Should be good.

Yeah, permit's good. You're just

not good to sell here right now.

OK, alright. Thank you. So just,

what, a half-mile down the road?

Yeah. As long as you're not right

on South Beach, you're OK.

- No problem. Sorry about that.

- Hey...

Aren't you the lava cake guy?

- Uh, yeah, from the internet.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

My kid and I saw you on 'Tosh.0'.

You were hilarious.

Thanks. OK, great.

- That was hilarious.

- OK.

Hey, can I get a quick

picture with you for my kid?

- For my kid.

- Sure.

- Yeah.

- Hey, you know how to work this?

- Hey, Martin, help me out.

- What is that, a flat-screen TV?

Hold on a second. Let me

unlock it for you real quick.

Hang on. We're gonna

move it down the road.

It's hard to use other

people's technology.

- Big one.

- Arm around you? Is that good?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Alright, how do I... What do I press?

Just touch the... Tap the

screen first. Hold on.

- OK.

- Let me make sure it's not on video.

It's on... Yeah, it's on. And then

put on camera. There we go. Yeah.

Alright. Get together.

You have to tap the

centre of the screen,

and when you see a box, make

sure the box is around our head.

- OK.

- Whatever you're shooting's in the box.

- Just take the f***ing picture, OK?

- I got it.

- There we go.

- Thanks. Let's take the...

Oh, and your finger's

in front of the camera.

- Sorry, sorry!

- Good. Great.

- I got it.

- OK. Thank you.

- Alright. Thank you.

- Thank you, Officer.

Hey, can I just take a picture

up there in the kitchen?

- On the truck?

- That'd be great, yeah.

- Got it.

- And good. OK.

Can I take one pressing a

sandwich or something?

- Got it.

- Good? OK.

- Alright.

Can we do one more where...

with 'Lady and the Tramp'...

you know, you're biting one

end, I'm biting the other?

- Come on, you can do this.

- OK.

You got it? You got it? Go.

I think I missed the exit.

Oww!

What the hell are you doing?

You sending pictures to Mom?

- I'm posting a Vine.

- A Vine? What's a Vine?

It's a video. Look.

Hey, come on, man!

Get that out of my face.

- Seriously.

- Christ.

- It's only six seconds.

- Who'd make a video six seconds?

- A six-second video.

- Can you believe this generation?

Unbelievable, man.

Little attention. ADHD.

- ADHD is right.

- That's nothing.

I've also been shooting these videos...

one second every day.

One-second videos?

Now you're joking with me.

No. You edit 'em all together.

One second of every day.

And then you cut 'em together

and watch it. It's cool.

OK, enough with the virtual world.

How about something real?

Who wants to stop at Disney World?

- Oh, yeah, I do.

- Disney World? That's real?

We shouldn't stop till

we hit New Orleans.

- Hey! Hey, that is your son.

- That's my boy.

A kid who'd rather go to New

Orleans than Disney World.

Now I've seen everything.

I can't wait to try

my first beignet.

Every other person you say 'New

Orleans' to thinks jazz and voodoo.

Yeah, he thinks...

- Your kid thinks doughnuts.

- Doughnuts. Yeah, I know.

I like that. Alright, New Orleans.

What are you doing?

Dude, I'm putting a little

cornstarch on my werewolves, man.

It's too humid down here.

Dad. Dad.

- Wake up.

- What?

Martin's putting

cornstarch on his balls.

You putting cornstarch

on your balls?

Yes, sir.

Let me get some?

Want some?

Here.

It's like baby powder.

Put it on your nuts.

- It's nice, right?

- Nice.

What's good is in the morning,

you could dip your nuts in

oil and make hushpuppies.

Alright, come on. Come on.

Out.

Alright, backing up.

Come on, come on.

OK, watch out, baby-cakes.

OK.

Whoo!

Nice driving skills, huh?

- I'm getting the hang of this thing.

- I'm telling ya.

- Alright, I'm taking my kid for a walk.

- Yeah.

Oh, nice. I get

promoted to sous-chef.

- But I gotta do all the hard work?

- Yeah. Thanks.

- Thank you.

- Where are we, Bourbon Street?

Nah, this is Frenchman Street.

Bourbon's for tourists.

We're in the Marigny. Come with me.

- Where we going?

- Just come.

Come on. French Quarter.

We're going to Caf Du Monde.

You ever heard of Caf Du Monde?

Is this the beignet place?

You ready? We drove a

long way for these.

Here we go.

Eat it slow.

You're never gonna have

your first beignet ever again.

Pretty cool.

- It's cool, right? You like it?

- Mm-hm.

They don't taste like this

anywhere else in the world.

- So, what else you gotta buy?

- Nothing.

Not anything for work?

Nope.

- Really?

- Nah.

Just wanted to get some

beignets with you.

Cool.

I like New Orleans.

I like New Orleans too.

- Somebody ate my body.

- I didn't brush my teeth.

This is what happens to you when

you don't brush your teeth.

- Dude, dude! Where were you, man?

- What? I went shopping.

- You went shopping?

- I called you, man. I texted you.

- We got beignets.

- Where the hell were you?

- You got beignets? I've been calling.

- We got some beets for the truck.

- Why didn't you answer your phone?

- My phone was on vibrate.

- You put your phone on vibrate.

- Chill out. What's the big...

- I'm sorry.

- Chill out? Just take a look.

Take a look. Please take a look.

- Is that for us?

- That's for us.

- That whole line's for us?

- Can you believe that?

Oh, my God!

Alright, so, I guess we

gotta cook some food.

- We gotta cook some food.

- Alright, so you good with prep?

- Yes, sir.

- We're gonna get through this.

- You ready?

- I'm ready, boss.

- OK. Buy me five minutes.

- Yes, sir.

Could you give us five minutes,

please? Five minutes.

We'll be right there

in five more minutes.

Got everything... Plancha's...

Everything's hot.

- Oil's hot. You got everything ready.

- Yes, sir.

You are a superstar!

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