Chef Page #9

You could have just bought this at

the store. I think they sold it there.

- You sure that's your son, man?

- I don't know.

You'd better get a paternity test.

- Oh, that looks incred...

- Can I have some?

Oh, Martin.

- Please, just gimme some.

- It's not from the store.

- You might not like it.

- It's fatty but not heavy, you know?

- You don't want any of this.

- Yes, I do.

- You're probably vegan. You can't eat it.

- I'm not vegan.

- It's not from the store.

- Oh, my God.

- Martin, come on. Can I have some?

- Hold on a second.

- Can I give him a piece, Martin?

- Nah, man, he's not...

- Alright. Let me think about it.

- Just a little piece. Let's see.

- Pretty good.

- Pretty good?

- Pretty good? Come on!

- Better than the store?

One more. Just one more.

The best sh*t you ever had

in your life. Come on, man.

Oh, give me another one. If you're

gonna give him some, give me some.

- Don't be cheap.

- I want more.

You know what? Let's

make some sandwiches.

- Yes, sir. Let's get to it.

- Alright. Ready to go?

Hey, little man, is

the plancha red-hot?

- Huh?

- Me?

No, I'm talking to the grill.

Yeah, you.

- Do I touch it?

- Well, what do you think?

- No.

- That's right. No, genius.

Hey, look. Come over here, look.

- See this water?

- Mm-hm.

- Bang. Is it hot?

- Yes.

- Tell him it's hot.

- It's hot.

- OK.

- Is it hot as your daddy's underwear?

Good. Now, watch. Come over here.

Here we go, papi.

Perfect. Perfecto.

Now, watch me.

Watch what I'm doing.

Two slices of ham, three of pork.

- Now come over here.

- Now the maestro.

Two slices of cheese... one, two.

- Two pickles.

- Can I do pickles?

Big pickles. Nice. One, two.

Now, watch this. Take this...

mustard, from end to end.

OK.

You go side to side,

not forward and back.

Now, this is the

most important part.

- This is what makes it a Cubano.

- OK.

- Take the butter. See that?

- Yeah.

On top. Take a little bit.

Butter the grill.

In. Just like that.

Now, watch.

I want you to watch for

the bread to get golden.

I want you to watch for

the cheese to melt.

When that cheese is melted and that

bread's golden, but not burnt,

you call me, you tell me it's

done and we'll check, OK?

- OK.

- Keep an eye on it.

I want you to watch

everything everybody's doing,

because when we're hopping, you're

gonna have to jump in on the line

and help out.

- I think it's done.

- You think it's done?

- Oh, look at that.

- See how golden that is?

- That's how you want it every time.

- Nice job.

You gotta be like a robot

when you're on a line.

You're the sh*t, baby.

You're the sh*t.

OK?

Mmm! Three equal pieces.

- Let's see what we got.

- Alright, here we go.

- Oh, hot.

- Ah. Let me see.

Look at that cheese.

- Oh, my God, man.

- This is the sh*t.

- This is it.

- Oh!

- This is it.

- This is it.

- It's incredible.

- This is empingao.

- Oh, empingao!

- Empingao, man.

- So, is it good?

- It's amazing.

Then I guess we're open.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait. We're open?

I didn't get to finish my sandwich.

- Here you go.

- What do I do?

Cut the bread.

There's cerveza down there.

Little man, get me hazelnuts,

get me some more ham.

OK.

Alright, I got four right here.

Hey, jefe, this sound

system sounds like ass.

But my cousin knows a guy who'll hook

us up with all our musical necessities.

My credit cards are maxed out and

we're not charging for food yet.

- So we'll wait on the sound system.

- But you look happy, baby, don't you?

- So happy. So happy.

- Yeah, that's what's champing it.

Uh-huh!

- I got one.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- That's burnt.

- So?

They're not paying for it.

Come with me. Get off the truck.

- You got this?

- Yeah, I got it. You get down.

Slow down for a second.

- Is this boring to you?

- No, I like it.

Yeah, well, I love it.

Everything good that's happened to

me in my life came because of that.

I might not do everything

great in my life, OK?

I'm not perfect. I'm

not the best husband.

And I'm sorry if I

wasn't the best father.

But I'm good at this.

And I wanna share this with you.

I wanna teach you what I learned.

I get to touch people's

lives with what I do.

And it keeps me

going, and I love it.

And I think if you give it a

shot, you might love it too.

Yes, Chef.

Now, should we have

served that sandwich?

No, Chef.

That's my son. Get back in there.

We got some hungry people.

He's ready to cook!

- We did good, man.

- We did good.

- We got something here.

- I say we stick with the traditional menu.

- We don't get too fancy.

- We'll get some yucca fries.

- We got the fryer.

- That's classic. Another beer, boss?

- No, I'm good.

- Alright.

Here you go, little man.

You sure?

Is this beer?

No, of course not. I would

never hand you beer.

- That's cerveza.

- I'm 10. I can't have beer.

You're not 10. You're kitchen staff.

Kitchen staff doesn't have an age.

Dad?

You can have a sip.

Huh?

- Like piss, right?

- Worse.

You remember that when your

friends offer you a beer.

- I figure we go to South Beach...

- Mm-hm.

stake out the truck a little

bit, get the menu straight.

Then after we're really confident

we got something good,

then we drive back to LA.

And hit a few extra

cities on the way?

Why not?

- Can I come?

- Can you come?

- Come where?

- On the trip.

This isn't a trip. We're

just driving the truck back.

You're flying first class with

Mommy with all the divorce money.

Yeah, but you're

stopping in cities.

- Yeah, but you got school.

- I'm on break.

I don't know.

Martin, I like your mojo.

- Hey, don't work me.

- Oh, you hitting Martin?

- You're working Martin?

- Working me like that.

- He's ice-cold.

- He knows my soft spot, though.

He likes your mojo.

- He got me, man.

- We'll talk to your mom.

- We'll see what she says.

- I already did.

- She's cool with it.

- Look at that.

He's not... He's 10,

he's got a phone.

Good for you. Good for

you, man. Get things done.

Why not? Why not? Bring him along.

So I'm going?

Yeah.

- Yeah, you can come.

- I gotta go to the bathroom.

Go by the backhoe.

You want me to take

a poop over there?

Hey, Carl. Carl, check it out.

I'll drop you guys

off at the hotel,

and in the morning, you go get

the rest of the ingredients,

stock up on stuff, and I'll

put a coat of paint on this.

Don't bother painting. We'll

paint it when we get back.

- It looks fine like this.

- No, man. This is on me.

My cousin knows a guy. I'm

gonna hook it up. Alright?

OK.

Who's hungry? Huh?

If you change your mind, you call

me and I'll go get you anywhere.

Come on. Let's sell

sandwiches, baby!

- OK, call me.

- Come on, buddy.

Cuidado.

- Call me.

- I will.

Alright, buddy, I need

you to get me a crowd.

- Yes, Chef. You know it.

- Alright.

Step right up.

Best Cuban food in

all of South Beach.

Come on, don't be afraid. Step up!

If you need it more authentic,

you can swim 90 miles that way.

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