Chef Page #2

I've had chefs before

you in this kitchen.

- I'll have chefs after you. OK?

- Alright, good talk.

- Let me get back to work.

- You know who's coming tonight.

We're being reviewed by the most

important critic in the city.

- Yes. I'm aware.

- His online blog was sold to AOL...

- For $10 million.

- That's right.

- You knew that?

- Yes, I know.

- OK.

- He's a big deal.

- That's why I wanna cook a good menu.

- You wanna cook a good menu?

- I wanna cook him some good food.

- Yeah. Well, then...

And our place is in a

f***ing creative rut.

- In a rut?

- In a creative rut.

You do know we're doing better than

any place in the neighbourhood?

I'm not talking about how

much money we're making,

I'm talking about creatively...

the food that we're serving.

We've served the same

food for five years.

Remember what happened when

you put guts on the menu?

Are you talking about my sweetbreads?

Is that what you mean?

Yeah. When you put that artsy sh*t

on the menu, people don't like it.

Not one person ordered

your sweetbreads.

Please listen to me.

I sank a fortune into the remodel

to get you the French cooking top,

whatever it is, that tabletop.

- French cooking suite.

- Right.

Not every chef gets that.

You know why you get it?

- I appreciate it.

- Do you know why?

Because you deserve it.

See, you don't know that.

But I know it.

You deserve it.

So be smart just for tonight.

Look, if you bought Stones tickets

and Jagger didn't play

'Satisfaction', how would you feel?

Would you be happy?

- No.

- No!

You'd burn the place

to the f***ing ground.

Your menu works.

People love it.

Carl, do what you want tonight.

OK? You're the chef.

You know what I think?

I think you should play your hits.

Alright, let's go. Pre-shift, guys.

Big night tonight.

Here's what we're doing.

We're gonna go with the favourites.

Starting with the caviar egg...

scallop, French onion soup...

frise salad...

lobster risotto...

filet.

And we're gonna finish

strong with a crowd pleaser,

chocolate lava cake.

Talk to Molly about wine pairings.

Let me know when he gets here.

And let's have fun.

Put your heart in it, people,

big night. Let's have some fun.

Good, good.

I'm so tired of being alone

I'm so tired of on-my-own

Won't you help me, girl,

just as soon as you can?

People say that I've found a way

To make you say that you love me

Hey, baby, you didn't go for that

It's a natural fact

That I wanna come back

Show me where it's at

Baby, yeah

I'm so tired of being alone

I'm so tired...

Dad.

Dad.

Dad! Come on. Let's go.

Look! It's up, it's up. It's up,

it's up. The review's up.

To the review. Here we go.

- To you, baby, to you.

- Here we go.

- My culinary hero.

- To the team.

"Gauloises - eager to please."

- Whoo!

- Yes!

"10 years ago, I had the

good fortune to dine

"at Chef Casper's revelatory

Miami bistro, Marrow."

- Miami in the house!

- Marrow, baby!

That's your house!

"The sheer audacity of this fresh,

brave voice of the culinary scene

"reminded me why I write

about food as a vocation."

- Yeah!

- That's a lot of pressure.

"It is nearly impossible to separate

my glowing regard for Chef Casper

"and how much he inspired me from my

expectations as I sat down to dine

"at the recently remodelled

Brentwood Gallic staple, Gauloises."

- Yeah, this is good!

- "Oh, how times have changed.

"Over the last decade, Carl Casper has

somehow managed to transform himself

"from the edgiest chef in Miami

"to the needy aunt that gives

you $5 every time you see her

"in hopes that you will like her,

"but instead causes you to

shrink from her cloying embrace

"which threatens to smother you

in her saggy, moist cleavage.

"The signature app,

"intended to impress the

country club brunch crowd,

"is the caviar egg.

"A shirred egg topped

with a dollop of caviar

"is an excuse for the

chef to overcharge us

"for his insecurity and

lack of imagination.

"Carl Casper can best be summed

up by the first bite of his needy

"and yet by some miracle

also irrelevant

"chocolate lava cake.

"Casper didn't even have the

courage to undercook the cake,

"thus curiously lacking its

signature molten centre."

"This sad dessert is emblematic

"of Carl Casper's

disappointing new chapter.

"His dramatic... weight

gain can only be explained

"by the fact that he must be eating

"all the food sent

back to the kitchen."

Two stars.

I don't get it. I don't get it.

Everyone loved it.

He loved it, even.

Then Why'd he write all that mean

sh*t about me? About my food?

Who cares? Who cares?

I do. 'Cause I could

have done better.

I should have cooked the

sh*t I was gonna cook.

You're ignoring the fact

that everyone was happy

and you're making a problem

where there's no problem.

It's not hard to make people happy.

There's certain things you could put on

a menu that'll make everybody happy.

If you put ahi tuna on a

menu, it will sell out.

It's guaranteed. You know that.

But I cooked the beef cheek,

which is a better dish,

and nobody wants to even try it.

- It was good, though.

- Yeah, for family meal.

Well, who you cooking for, though?

That's my point.

Why do I have to pick?

Why do I have to choose?

Why can't I have both?

There are chefs that cook

food that they believe in

and people will try because

they're open to a new experience

and they'll end up liking it.

- What do you want me to say to you?

- The truth.

You want me to tell you

that you're the best chef

that I ever worked with.

And it's true, because you are.

You are, Carl. You are the best

chef I've ever worked with.

- OK.

- I mean it.

Well, thank you.

You're welcome.

- We both agreed not to do that.

- I know.

Why don't I just

cook you something?

Oh, OK. F*** it. Let's go.

Mmm!

Mom wants to talk to you.

Inez?

Inez.

Are you OK?

I got two stars.

Getting two stars is good, right?

I mean, I don't read that

sh*t normally, but, you know,

then he starts writing all this

personal sh*t about me and...

How many people you got working?

You got, like, 50 people.

And Percy's 10 years old.

Does he still need a nanny?

He's in school all day. What does

she even do here? Hi, Flora.

- Hi, Mr Carl.

- I mean, what does he need...

- What's she doing here?

- You know that he's hurt, right?

Because I was late? I already

apologised to him. We're fine.

Late? He waited for you for

one hour alone outside.

Well, I didn't realise

it was that long.

It's just... that

was the day that...

You're right.

I didn't like what

they wrote about you.

I didn't like it either.

It hurt, alright?

You OK?

I'm alright.

Good.

I'm gonna make it up to him.

- That was fun, right?

- Yeah.

- Where you going?

- I gotta work on a menu.

It's still early. Can I watch?

Yeah, sorry, it's at work.

- I won't get in the way.

- Yeah, I gotta go work.

- OK. 'Bye.

- We'll have fun next week.

OK.

What the hell are you doing here,

man? What's this madness, huh?

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