Chef Page #7

wake up Percy so he can try one.

He say, "Just let him sleep. It's too late."

No, but he's never had a real Cuban

sandwich. I want him to try it.

He says you should make him one.

I want him to have a real one

from here, from Little Havana.

Abuelo... Everything OK?

This is really good, by the way.

Yours are way better.

You think people would like

this kind of food back home?

- You think people would like it?

- Yeah, it's real food. Why not?

- Maybe I'll talk to Marvin.

- Mm-hm.

Let me hear him out. You know?

See what he's got in

mind for the food truck.

Think he's in town?

I don't know, but, you know, I can

find out tomorrow... I call him.

You know he's here. Is this the

whole reason you brought me out?

I don't know what

you're talking about.

Try this. The yucca's amazing.

I love yucca.

You're full of sh*t.

Hi. I'm Carl Casper.

I'm here to see Marvin.

- Booties?

- Excuse me?

In case you don't want

to remove your shoes.

Thank you.

- Uh!

- Follow me, please.

Uhh!

- Casper's here.

- How ya doing?

- Glad you're here. Look at you.

- How's it going?

Come over here.

Candy, come over here.

You're a sight for sore eyes.

What you want to eat, something?

I want to see you eat something.

Alright? I'm worried. Eat

some crackers or something.

Thanks.

Look at you.

She's pregnant. Just found out.

The... This one?

Pissed on a stick, came in,

laid it on me five seconds ago.

Is it... So it's yours?

I don't know. That's

what she's saying.

- You don't...

- I know.

I got a problem, 'cause she's...

best receptionist I've ever had.

- Yeah.

- Good news is I had my tubes tied in '08.

So, clearly, she's

also a f***ing liar.

- Right. That's tough.

- What do you want?

You want a coconut water?

- Um...

- You OK?

I'm alright. I'm alright.

- Do you want a drink?

- I would... No.

Let's make some decisions

together. Let's start right here.

- Alright, so...

- Let's start off easy.

We got sh*t to talk about. Look,

bang, you got four swatches, right?

Let's start off easy and then we'll

get into the uncomfortable stuff.

- Pick it.

- The... For the...

For here? I don't know.

Yeah, I'm putting a carpet down,

'cause people keep slippin' around

like it's a f***in' ice rink in here.

You could always get 'em...

take the booties off and, uh...

Can't do that.

We'll go with,

I don't know, this one?

- You like that one?

- I think...

If I had to... But if you're

not gonna paint, I would...

This just seems like

it goes with anything.

People aren't walking

on the walls, Carl.

Or I could keep it if I want.

- The...

- Keep the kid.

- Yeah.

- Knowing that it's not mine.

- Yes.

- You know, for once, I'm a good guy.

She stays on my desk and I

f***ing got something on her.

But you decide. What do you think?

Are we... we're talking

about the carpet now

or are we talking about

the, um... the...

- We're talking about...

- I don't even know anymore.

I think, um...

I'd go with the brown.

And as far as that goes,

that's a personal... that's...

- I don't know.

- You're not a turd, OK?

I don't want you to feel that way coming

in here with your hat in your hand.

You went f***ing crazy on the

internet. That was awesome.

You lost respect, which I

love, 'cause it's passion.

You know, you lost everything.

You know, you're not a loser,

but you have lost, OK?

You're not a turd.

A turd that lost.

I don't know that I

feel like a turd.

- Good.

- I feel like I had a bad week.

I feel like I lost my job, I made

an ass of myself on the internet.

I'm divorced, I'm

old, I got no money.

I live in a shitty

apartment in Venice.

But you know what makes

me feel like a turd?

That I'm in my ex-wife's ex-husband's

office and asking for a f***ing favour

and all he's doing

is busting my balls.

I like this humility. It's good.

Truth be told, food trucks are a

great idea. You know what I mean?

I think we take it back

to something simple.

Let me see if I got something to

say anymore. I don't even know.

- It's no problem.

- I'll pay you back.

As long as it's not weird for you...

I don't want you to feel like

because you were with Inez and

you guys were sleeping together

and I was with her

and we had this...

I was with her, then you were with her,

and then maybe I f***ed her after.

I don't even know what

happened with us.

I came out to LA for

a Clippers game once

and I think we had a couple of

drinks and we went to Islands.

- And I think she had...

- What happened between you two?

You know what? It doesn't matter.

Here's what happened.

We're talking about a white-on-white

'88 Chevy Grumman food truck.

It's a blank canvas

for your dreams.

I'm gonna have 'em pull it around.

Thank you.

Don't thank me till you see it.

Yeah. I'm in Miami now.

What happened to those

interviews you had?

None of the prospects panned out.

- For real?

- Yeah.

It sucks.

I guess you'll have to stay

there for a while, bro.

Hey, Carl. Hey, papi, mira, I don't

know if you heard or not, but...

I got bumped up, man, to sous-chef.

- Sous-chef?

- Yeah.

No sh*t! That's excellent!

Congratulations, man.

That's a big deal.

Thank you, man. That means a

lot coming from you, seriously.

Yeah, but enough about me.

So, what are you gonna do?

You're gonna laugh.

- I got a food truck.

- Get the hell out!

No sh*t. You got a

f***ing taco truck?

Tony! Tony, Carl's got

a f***ing taco truck.

For real?

- Jefe! Like with tacos and sh*t?

- I just...

Yeah, I would assume.

What are you gonna cook?

You know, Cuban sandwiches,

pltanos, arroz con pollo.

Simple sh*t like we used

to do for family meal.

Oh, yeah, I remember

those days, man.

- F*** he doing with a taco truck?

- Goddamn.

- I'd love some of that sh*t now.

- What's he doing with a taco truck?

- It's good, right? It could be cool.

- Yeah.

Get the f*** off the

phone, bro. Let's go!

Alright, alright, alright!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man.

Attila the Hun is calling me.

I gotta go, man.

Alright. Be good, man.

- Is this the new truck?

- This is it. This is the truck.

- Ahh!

- It's got good bones.

It's gonna need a lot

of work, though.

What doesn't?

Wanna take a look around, champ?

- Do I have to?

- Go!

Go and look at your

dad's new truck.

Can I ask you a question?

Is something wrong?

- Did you sleep with him?

- With who?

With Marvin. Did you

sleep with Marvin?

But of course I did.

He's my ex-husband.

I mean, since we were

divorced. Have you slept...

Who did you sleep

with last, him or me?

I'm sorry, but this is none of

your business what I did...

- I think it might be.

- ..after I divorce you.

Second of all, I don't ask you what

you do with your hot little waitress.

- That's completely different.

- OK, really.

- And that's not fair.

- Yeah, yeah.

This is somebody you loved

and shared a life with...

Why do we have to talk

about this right now?

Because I took a business

meeting with the guy.

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